{"id":18149,"date":"2019-01-25T01:00:26","date_gmt":"2019-01-25T09:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18149"},"modified":"2021-05-31T09:49:07","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T16:49:07","slug":"how-to-not-be-clingy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/how-to-not-be-clingy\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Not Be Clingy In the Early Stages of a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Clinginess is a two-fold problem. You\u2019re either around too much or you\u2019re acting out your insecurities. It\u2019s natural to want to be around someone you like, and everyone has insecurities, but in the early stages of a relationship you\u2019ll want to tread a little more lightly. Think of the early stages as an extended first impression. Nobody\u2019s perfect, but you want to start with your best foot forward. So if you\u2019re worried you might be a tad too enthusiastic with your new parter, this guide is for you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jealousy is a big no-no.
\n<\/b>Jealous is probably the biggest reason that someone will get labeled a clinger early on in a relationship. At its heart, jealousy stems from an insecurity that you\u2019re not enough for your partner. It often arises when your partner hangs out or talks to someone of the sex they\u2019re attracted to. Unfortunately, when you\u2019re in a relationship, other people still exist. Later in the relationship, when the foundation is stronger you can express these concerns to your partner, but earlier on it might put too much strain on this stage of the relationship when things are still delicate.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t dig into their romantic history.
\n<\/b>Another thing jealous lovers often do is repeatedly ask about their partner\u2019s past relationships. In an attempt to quell the insecurity, they try to measure themselves up against other people their partner was attracted to. This is bad for a few reasons: it signals insecurity; and you may feel like you don\u2019t measure up and exacerbate your insecurity. The key to this one is simply not asking about it. Pretty simple.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let them have their free time.
\n<\/b>Before you and your partner were dating, you both lived fulfilled lives with friends, families, a job, and hobbies. None of that should stop because you\u2019re now in a relationship. It\u2019s natural to want to see your partner often and be in communication, but that has to be agreed upon, and you both still need to live your lives outside of the relationship. Make sure that you don\u2019t try to schedule every free moment they have with a hangout. Give them space to be their own person.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maintain your social life.
\n<\/b>Don\u2019t let your friendships suffer, because you have a partner. Ditching your friends for your partner is not only not nice but also a strong signal of clinginess. It tells your partner that you\u2019re willing to drop meaningful long-standing relationships at any opportunity to give them more attention. That\u2019s not what a healthy relationship looks like. Making plans to hang out with your friends not only maintains those friendships but also gives both people in the relationship space to breathe. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have separate plans.
\n<\/b>Personal time is an important part of a well-balanced life. You shouldn\u2019t forego it just because of your new relationship. Make a point to run errands alone. See your family without your partner. Practice your hobbies and plan your next career steps in your scheduled personal time. These are ways to give the relationship breathing room and to get your mind off of being separated from your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Set expectations.
\n<\/b>It\u2019s important to let your partner know what you\u2019re looking for in a relationship within reason. If you like to be in touch each day, let them know that but also allow for them to be slow to respond when they\u2019re working, with friends, or just need some alone time. If two people aren\u2019t aligned on what\u2019s expected in a relationship, there will be some hiccups.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Communicate.
\n<\/b>Communication is the key to any relationship. We\u2019ve heard it so many times it\u2019s plastered onto our brain. That\u2019s because it\u2019s true. Conversations about trust and time and energy investment aren\u2019t easy ones to have, but they\u2019re important. These boundaries and rules when respected will help you and your partner build trust and maybe assuage some insecurities. But, as I said before, the early stages of a relationship are a delicate time, so you\u2019ll have to wait for the right moment. Don\u2019t force the conversation, and when it is time you\u2019ll need to be upfront about your wants and needs, which means you\u2019ll need to be vulnerable about what your needs are and where they come from.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When dealing with clinginess, there are fair asks and unreasonable wants. Fair asks are the things that you can ask of your partner to make you more comfortable. Unreasonable wants are things you wish your partner would do that stem from insecurity and are, well, unreasonable. Managing clinginess is about working with your partner on the fair asks and coming to terms with the insecurities that fuel your unreasonable wants. It\u2019s a lot of emotional work, but it\u2019s part of the price of admission for any successful relationship. If you do the work, you beat the clinginess.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nobody\u2019s perfect, but you want to start with your best foot forward. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":162,"featured_media":18150,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,891],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-relationship-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Not Be Clingy In the Early Stages of a Relationship<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When dealing with clinginess, there are fair asks and unreasonable wants. 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