{"id":18157,"date":"2019-01-25T01:00:38","date_gmt":"2019-01-25T09:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18157"},"modified":"2021-05-31T09:49:00","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T16:49:00","slug":"dating-after-met-in-a-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-met-in-a-bar\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating After 50: Let’s Tell People We Met in a Bar"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The use of online dating is exploding, but for some, especially those over 50, it still has a stigma. As one online meme puts it: \u201cJoin an online dating service? I\u2019d rather meet someone the old-fashioned way\u2014with alcohol and poor judgment.\u201d One night I had the opportunity to see if a more traditional pick-up method worked any better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My girlfriend Debi and I (the fearless duo) were at a local restaurant for happy hour and as it so happened, she noticed a guy at the other end of the bar, drinking alone and alternately watching the college basketball finals and looking at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said, \u201cHe\u2019s looking again. Check him out. I think he\u2019s cute but I can\u2019t really see him (she needs glasses but refuses to get a prescription\u2014more of that aging denial stuff).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I snuck an inconspicuous glance and gave her my approval. \u201cOh yeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think he might be too young though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNope. He looks your age. And he\u2019s cute.\u201d (No matter how old women are, we still call men we\u2019re attracted to cute.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe keeps looking down here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou think he\u2019ll come over?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have no idea.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We finished our drinks and paid our bill. The guy at the end of the bar never came over. As we were about to leave, Debi asked the bartender for a pen and jotted something down on a cocktail napkin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of answering me, she leaned over to the bartender.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWould you mind giving this note to the guy down there at the end of the bar when I leave?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bartender was nonplussed. \u201cSure, I\u2019d love to play matchmaker for you.\u201d And with that we sauntered out, headed toward our cars.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh my God! I can\u2019t believe you just did that!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll probably never hear from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next day she got a text.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m the guy at the end of the bar from last night. Yes, I\u2019m single and yes, I\u2019m interested.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They texted back and forth. He invited her for a glass of wine. Teeny red flag\u2014the invitation was for 7:00 p.m. but specifically did not include any mention of food. Just a glass of wine. Kind of a weird time to pick, we thought. No biggie. There would probably be appetizers, once they got there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He was still cute when she saw him up close\u2014a relief. He talked about his business as a tennis instructor. Never married (red flag). No kids (red flag). Over to her. My friend\u2019s life is full, kids and grandkids, a variety of different jobs and businesses; her stories are many and her personality is distinctly bubbly. She noticed he yawned at one point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By 7:45, there was no mention of food. By 8:00, the glasses were drained and my friend was starving. No conversation about seeing one another again. No chemistry. One and done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while online dating may seem a less romantic or \u201cnatural\u201d way to meet someone, it\u2019s a major time-saver. You waste less time on dates that go nowhere and you can catch a lot of red flags by reading profiles first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just like the book, “Secrets of Dating After Fifty<\/a>,”  says\u2014all you know about someone when you meet them in a bar is that they\u2019re cute and they drink alcohol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karen Haddigan is the author of the recently-released book Secrets of Dating After Fifty: The Insider\u2019s Guide to Finding Love Again<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The use of online dating is exploding, but for some of us older daters it still has a stigma. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":165,"featured_media":18158,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[979],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-over-50-dating"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDating After 50: Let's Tell People We Met in a Bar<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The use of online dating is exploding, but for some, especially those over 50, it still has a stigma.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/over-50-dating\/dating-after-met-in-a-bar\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta 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Haddigan","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/avatar_user_165_1534190333-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/avatar_user_165_1534190333-96x96.jpg","caption":"Karen Haddigan"},"description":"Karen Haddigan is a renowned dating and relationships author. In collaboration with Debi Helm, she authored the book Secrets of Dating After Fifty: The Insider\u2019s Guide to Finding Love Again. She met her ex-husband online and, after her divorce, re-entered the world of online dating. She has a background in mediation, communication skills, and conflict resolution. 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