{"id":18161,"date":"2019-01-26T14:00:19","date_gmt":"2019-01-26T22:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18161"},"modified":"2024-06-28T03:51:35","modified_gmt":"2024-06-28T10:51:35","slug":"lesbian-dating-tips-first-move","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/","title":{"rendered":"Lesbian Dating Tips: How To Make The First Move"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dating is hard enough as it is\u2014answering your messages, shaving your legs, picking out the perfect outfit, and obsessively checking the restaurant\u2019s menu so you know what to order before you get there. Dating is also super rewarding\u2014dinners that go for hours because the conversation is so good, second rounds of drinks, and, of course, that first kiss. But what if you\u2019re too riddled with anxiety to make the first move? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leaning in for that end of the night kiss can be tough for anyone\u2014but the nerves are heightened if you\u2019re a woman dating another woman. We don\u2019t have those pesky (but sometimes helpful) gender roles to tell us who should be making the first move. So what is a gal to do? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Follow these steps and you’ll be making out in no time. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Send the first message.<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>Don\u2019t waste time obsessing over who\u2019s going to message who\u2014or spend hours crafting the wittiest, most charming first message. It\u2019s not that deep. You can just say, \u201cHey!\u201d From there, try asking your date out sooner than you normally would. I know that sounds intimidating as hell, but you\u2019re better off getting to the date before you have time to be (any more) anxious. It seems forward, but I\u2019ve had a lot of success with, \u201cI think you seem [complimentary adjective] and would love to grab a drink.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now you have a date, be decisive.<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>Pick a trendy cocktail bar. Pick a time. Make a reservation. Set the precedent that you are a confident woman who knows what she wants. If you\u2019re nervous, having the date planned out can relieve some of those jitters. Confidence begets confidence. If you\u2019re comfortable during the dinner, you\u2019ll be ready to make that first move at the end of the night.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have a pre- date ritual that lets your confidence soar.<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>Do you feel your sexiest in a bomber jacket and sneakers? Tight leather pants and sky high feels? A blazer and jeans? Whatever you feel your best in, adorn yourself in it, while blasting your favorite music. There\u2019s nothing wrong with a small date pregame if that\u2019s your thing so go ahead and make yourself a cocktail. I personally feel most ready to make the first move when I\u2019m in a tight black dress, thigh high boots, and have just downed a glass of Pinot Grigio while listening to Led Zeppelin. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Compliment her, compliment her, compliment her!<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>A simple \u201cyou look beautiful\u201d as soon as you see her will do. And maybe after a drink or two, a \u201cyou\u2019re so sexy\u201d will give you the confidence to make that first move. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just be yourself. (Seriously!)<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>You are your most powerful, most sexy, and most alluring when you\u2019re being yourself. It sounds like kindergarten advice but it\u2019s clich\u00e9 for a reason\u2014so relax, take a deep breath, and speak honestly. You\u2019ll be making that first move in no time.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Admit when you\u2019re nervous.<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>If you\u2019re nervous, be honest! It\u2019s endearing and cute to tell a lady, \u201cYou make me nervous.\u201d Trying to be cool all the time? That\u2019s boring and inauthentic\u2014and totally obvious. My girlfriend says I won her over when I blurted out, \u201cYou\u2019re so sexy you make me nervous,\u201d on our second date. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Touch her arm.<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>\u201cOh, I love that movie too!\u201d you gush as you lightly touch her arm. Arm touching is subtle but it\u2019s the first step in foreplay, and little touches here and there can go a long way.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then touch her thigh.<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>\u2018I totally agree that it\u2019s a visual masterpiece!\u201d as you grip her thigh. (You got this!)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pay the bill.<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>Paying for the bill is just one way to let someone know you\u2019re serious about them, the date, and want to do something nice. So treat her and pay the bill. It lets her know that you\u2019re interested. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ask permission.<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/b>There\u2019s something so vulnerable, respectful, flattering and honest in asking, \u201cCan I kiss you?\u201d Consent is always sexy.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like so many things in this cruel world, a first kiss can be an anxiety-provoking experience, especially for two women free from any weird heteronormative rules about who should make the first move. While it can be nerve wracking, I also think that uncertainty is the most exciting thing about dating a woman. Be brave, be confident, be sexy. Good luck! <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Without those pesky (but sometimes helpful) gender roles to tell us who should make the first move, what’s a gal to do?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":180,"featured_media":18164,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[887],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gay-dating-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLesbian Dating Tips: How To Make The First Move<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Leaning in for that end of the night kiss can be tough for anyone\u2014but the nerves are heightened if you\u2019re a woman dating another woman.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Lesbian Dating Tips: How To Make The First Move\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Leaning in for that end of the night kiss can be tough for anyone\u2014but the nerves are heightened if you\u2019re a woman dating another woman.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/daynagtroisi\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-01-26T22:00:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-06-28T10:51:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/01\/28125712\/lesbian-dating-tips.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Dayna Troisi\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/DaynaTroisi\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Dayna Troisi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Lesbian Dating Tips: How To Make The First Move","description":"Leaning in for that end of the night kiss can be tough for anyone\u2014but the nerves are heightened if you\u2019re a woman dating another woman.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Lesbian Dating Tips: How To Make The First Move","og_description":"Leaning in for that end of the night kiss can be tough for anyone\u2014but the nerves are heightened if you\u2019re a woman dating another woman.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/daynagtroisi\/","article_published_time":"2019-01-26T22:00:19+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-06-28T10:51:35+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/01\/28125712\/lesbian-dating-tips.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Dayna Troisi","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/DaynaTroisi","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Dayna Troisi","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/"},"author":{"name":"Dayna Troisi","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/7a581a316a189cab6a4183aa104d5573"},"headline":"Lesbian Dating Tips: How To Make The First Move","datePublished":"2019-01-26T22:00:19+00:00","dateModified":"2024-06-28T10:51:35+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/"},"wordCount":763,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/01\/28125712\/lesbian-dating-tips.jpg","articleSection":["Gay Dating Advice"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/","name":"Lesbian Dating Tips: How To Make The First Move","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/01\/28125712\/lesbian-dating-tips.jpg","datePublished":"2019-01-26T22:00:19+00:00","dateModified":"2024-06-28T10:51:35+00:00","description":"Leaning in for that end of the night kiss can be tough for anyone\u2014but the nerves are heightened if you\u2019re a woman dating another woman.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/01\/28125712\/lesbian-dating-tips.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/01\/28125712\/lesbian-dating-tips.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"Two women who listened to these lesbian dating tips laughing and flirting while on a date at a bowling alley."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/lesbian-dating-tips-first-move\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dating Tips","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"LGBTQ+ Dating Tips","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/gay-dating-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"Lesbian Dating Tips: How To Make The First Move"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/7a581a316a189cab6a4183aa104d5573","name":"Dayna Troisi","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/avatar_user_180_1548783724-96x96.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/avatar_user_180_1548783724-96x96.png","caption":"Dayna Troisi"},"description":"Dayna Troisi is a sex and dating writer whose 200+ essays have been published in Marie Claire, Elite Daily, Allure, and Buzzfeed, among others.\u00a0 Daynais proud to be the Managing Editor at GO Magazine, the nation's\u00a0most widely read free lesbian publication. She is an\u00a0unapologetic\u00a0dyke\u00a0cyborg\u00a0princess and is passionate about sexuality, beauty, fashion, Lana Del Rey, and her badass bionic arm.\u00a0","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.daynatroisi.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/daynagtroisi\/","https:\/\/x.com\/https:\/\/twitter.com\/DaynaTroisi"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/dayna-troisi\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18161","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/180"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18161"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18161\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18164"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18161"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18161"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}