{"id":18165,"date":"2019-01-27T01:00:23","date_gmt":"2019-01-27T09:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18165"},"modified":"2021-05-31T09:48:42","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T16:48:42","slug":"dating-through-dry-january","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-through-dry-january\/","title":{"rendered":"I Dated Through Dry January. Here’s What I Learned."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Everybody has that annoying health trend friend who bombards them with the latest pseudoscience theories about how to get into tip top shape. Well, I\u2019m sorry to say, this time it\u2019s me. This past month, I participated in my second dry January to help curb my anxiety, clear my head, and shed a couple pounds. I knew abstinence from drinking would affect my social life, but somehow I didn\u2019t consider how it would affect dating. In short, it did. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it was good, other ways less so, but I lived to tell the tale so you don\u2019t have to go into your dry month blind. If you\u2019re thinking of taking some time off drinking and aren\u2019t sure how it will affect your dating life, here are a few things you should know.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some people will stop at the door.
\n<\/b>It\u2019s true. There were at least a handful of conversations I had across different dating apps that were headed straight for a date. They asked to go out for drinks. I agreed to meet them at some specified bar, but when I told them I wasn\u2019t drinking for the month (but didn\u2019t mind if they did), the conversation ended right then and there with a hard ghost. I try not to assume too much from a text chat, but I had the feeling that I didn\u2019t have the best chemistry with some of these folks. This outcome was probably for the best.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Others will think it\u2019s an oddity.
\n<\/b>You\u2019d be surprised, but some people really can\u2019t wrap their heads around a young person who doesn\u2019t drink, even if it\u2019s temporary. Either over dating app text or in person on the first date, I shared that I was doing dry January to help manage my anxiety, start off the year with a solid work routine, and shed a couple pounds. But that answer was met with quizzical looks or questions like, \u201cWhy are you really doing it?\u201d Yep, it happens.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s harder to amp up the energy.
\n<\/b>One of the most difficult parts of dating is striking the balance between flowing conversation, good nonverbal communication, and tension (the good kind) and producing what\u2019s known to common folk as fun. Many people are uneasy about dating due to bad past experiences or fear of rejection. Carrying this baggage into a date is an easy way to throw the delicate balance off and have things become, well, not fun. A lot of people rely on first date drinks to calm that white noise buzzing in the back of their brains during their dates. Abstaining from drinking can put a bit of a hamper on dating in that regard.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s easier to date mindfully.
\n<\/b>For me, sometimes even a single drink can put a gloss on things, so dating without a drink in hand can mean a better focus on deep conversations and attunement to nonverbal cues. In my month of dating sober, I noticed I had more deep conversations that often dove straight into the territory of worldviews. There are probably some first date rules being broken here, but both of us walked away feeling good about the whole thing so no harm no foul.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll have to get creative.
\n<\/b>I mean, you knew this one was coming. Drinks are a classic first date option and without them as a plan A, you\u2019ll have to come up with an enticing plan B. Coffee is the pretty obvious runner-up, which is a good alternative, although coffee does make for a pretty conversationally intensive date, so you\u2019ll have to bring your banter A-game. I have a museum membership, so free tickets to go look at art was an easy sell. I\u2019ve also done picnics in the park and strolls through the neighborhood. As the subhead says, you\u2019re going to have to get a little creative.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

People may think you\u2019re more sensitive.
\n<\/b>This is sort of an interesting one. A few of my datestold me that I must be sensitive since I was doing dry January. I\u2019m not totally sure where this assessment came from. While I may be more sensitive than the average bloke, that\u2019s not the reason why I decided to abstain. Do with this one what you will.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t shed the pounds I was looking to, but it was fun to see dating from this different (clearer) light. I can\u2019t say I\u2019d recommend it for someone just looking to vary up their dating experience, but it wasn\u2019t the disaster some friends would\u2019ve had me believe. If you need a quick break from drinks, rest assured. You\u2019re dating life won\u2019t suffer\u2026 too much.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dating without drinking wasn’t as hard as I thought. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":162,"featured_media":18166,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nI Dated Through Dry January. 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