{"id":18175,"date":"2019-01-31T01:00:23","date_gmt":"2019-01-31T09:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18175"},"modified":"2024-03-20T05:12:10","modified_gmt":"2024-03-20T12:12:10","slug":"mature-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/mature-love\/","title":{"rendered":"What Mature Love Feels Like and How to Know You’ve Found It"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Love can be an enigma. Sometimes you can experience it without knowing, while other times you can think you\u2019re experiencing it when you\u2019re not. So how do you ever truly know if you’re in love?  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having clarity about how you feel can help you see the difference between that intense, lusty passion and genuine companionship. Because let\u2019s be honest\u2014emotions are tricky and it\u2019s easy to mix feelings up. To help you ditch your second-guessing for good, here\u2019s what mature love feels like and the signs you found it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll stop trying to be perfect.
\n<\/b>It\u2019s normal to want your partner to think you\u2019re perfect. No question, being placed on a pedestal makes us feel more validated and special. But when dealing with mature love, you won\u2019t be playing these silly worship-me games. You\u2019ll be too busy growing with your vulnerabilities\u2014not hiding them and prancing around like you\u2019re perfect. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Slowly, your ego becomes secondary to the importance of the relationship. You\u2019ll care less about being idolized and more about appreciating your partner. By investing more time and energy valuing your partner\u2019s happiness, you\u2019ll spend less time focusing on your insecure need to appear perfect. You\u2019ll fully expose the real you\u2014flaws, weird habits and all.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You become less selfish.
\n<\/b>In a mature relationship, you\u2019re more focused on your partner\u2019s needs than your own. Needless to say, this concern must be mutual, of course. As Relationship Therapist <\/span>Meridith Shirley<\/span><\/a> explains,<\/span> \u201cA<\/span>uthentic love is based on a selfless admiration and fondness for the other person.\u201d Basically, most of your ‘me thinking’ is replaced by your desire to positively impact the person you love<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your inward needs are replaced by outward generosity. In turn, your dependance on attention and flattery fades away and you sacrifice more brainspace considering their well-being and happiness. You\u2019ll know you\u2019ve found mature love because you\u2019ll be less selfish, while your relationship grows more stable.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your priorities will change.
\n<\/b>Our priorities are always shifting, but real love can make them transform. Things that felt important when you were single or casually dating become less crucial in a mature relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychologist Dr. Samantha Joel discusses this change in her article, <\/span>How New Relationships Can Shift Your Priorities<\/span><\/i>. In her study, she found that couples will adjust their life goals to grow more compatible with their partner. For example, Joel notes that, \u201cOne partner might list goals like saving money and eating healthier.”<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your new goals might be a far stretch from your pre-relationship self. Maybe before, you were more concerned with petty distractions, like scrolling through social media or gossip at work. Yet, once you\u2019re committed to a deeply fulfilling relationship, one that\u2019s mature and positive, you no longer care as much about these shallow diversions. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You become less shallow.
\n<\/b>In a healthy relationship, you might become less critical about your appearance. Although nobody is 100% immune to being self-conscious, this condition improves in a mature relationship. Why? Well, back to Dr.Joel\u2019s idea about shifting priorities, a serious relationship can distract us from superficial concerns. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s more, a mature relationship can make you feel more confident about your inner beauty. As your partner continues to adore the depth of your character, the value of your looks will wane as you take more pride in the value of your soul. That\u2019s why real love makes you feel beautiful inside and out. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You care about their family.
\n<\/b>A family symbolizes the people we respect and love. In a mature relationship, you\u2019ll feel a strong desire to connect with your partner\u2019s family support system. As you envision a future down the road, this picture will include their family, so instinctively, you care more about them. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously, they won\u2019t feel like blood relatives right away, but with time and bonding, you\u2019ll start embracing them. You\u2019ll love having a personal relationship with them\u2014a rapport that remains strong, even separate from your relationship with your partner.  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You talk about the future.
\n<\/b>Mature relationships have plans. Nothing too set-in-stone, but you should have some clarity about your future together. And no\u2014idealizing your fantasy of shacking up in a dream mansion one day, after you\u2019ve had hot sex, doesn\u2019t count. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we get carried away in the raptures of passion, it\u2019s easy to talk about exciting possibilities. But that\u2019s just your hormones talking. In a mature relationship, your conversations about the future should be more practical. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t necessarily need to set a date, but you should have a reasonable notion of when a ring might make an appearance. And if you\u2019re not already living together, this topic will become a priority. Other clues of real love are instances where it feels organic and realistic to say things like, \u201cI think we\u2019d be great parents,\u201d without any ounce of weirdness at all. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll (almost) never get sick of them.
\n<\/b>Mature love is immune to the ‘ick factor’. Never heard of it? It\u2019s the condition of suddenly feeling grossed out by your partner for no explainable reason\u2014an experience also known as \u201cSudden Repulsion Syndrome\u201d (SRS). <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to <\/span>Urban Dictionary<\/span><\/a>, SRS is, \u201ca condition many people experience after dating an individual.\u201d Basically, out of nowhere, <\/span>everything about the person makes you physically nauseous. Their smell is obnoxious, their touch makes you shudder, and even their face somehow loses its appeal. Suddenly, the thought of kissing them seems like an unbearable chore. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This change in attraction doesn\u2019t have to be triggered by something logical. According to some psychologists, the ick factor can be triggered by something unconscious, a type of protection mechanism that prevents us from ending up with the wrong person. It\u2019s our body\u2019s way of telling us that the partnership is toxic<\/span>. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet, when we\u2019ve found the right person, our bodies can’t experience the ick factor. Instead, your partner\u2019s presence will continue making your life feel lighter and easier\u2014well, most of the time.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whenever your intuition feels cloudy in your relationship, use these signs to gain some clarity. Sometimes you can\u2019t always trust your gut, especially if you\u2019ve been hurt in the past. So instead of relying on that age-old advice, \u201cYou\u2019ll know when you find it,” just trust these foolproof signs to know how mature love should feel.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How do you ever truly know if you’re in love? \u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":209,"featured_media":18177,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[987],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Mature Love Feels Like and How to Know You've Found It<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Whenever your intuition feels cloudy in your relationship, use these signs to gain some clarity.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/mature-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" 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