{"id":18226,"date":"2019-02-05T14:00:15","date_gmt":"2019-02-05T22:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18226"},"modified":"2021-10-26T01:27:19","modified_gmt":"2021-10-26T08:27:19","slug":"signs-you-arent-over-you-ex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/signs-you-arent-over-you-ex\/","title":{"rendered":"4 Signs You Aren\u2019t Over Your Ex: Revelations from a Life Coach and Counselor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Getting over a breakup is difficult, and the experience of healing is the inspiration for literally entire genres of movies, music, novels, and art. Though it\u2019s one of the most isolating human experiences, it\u2019s also one of the most common, and one that numerous people can heal from, including you. If you\u2019re not over your last breakup, there\u2019s no shame in it. But how do you know what\u2019s normal, healthy still-getting-over-someone behavior, and what\u2019s an indicator that you\u2019re not dealing with your breakup in a productive way? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Counselor Kali Rodgers, M.S., who is also the <\/span>CEO & Founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, shares some of the signs that you aren\u2019t over your ex along with ways that you can take control of your healing. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sign #1: You talk about them all the time. <\/b>
\n<\/span>\u201c<\/span>The first and most obvious indicator [that someone isn\u2019t over their ex] is that they continue to talk about their ex,\u201d says Rodgers. \u201cEven if they insist they\u2019re over it, the more airtime the ex gets, the less someone is over the breakup.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you talk about your ex a lot but write it off as just venting or being relevant to the conversation, it could be time to examine how you feel about them. It\u2019s okay to not be over your ex and it\u2019s also okay to talk about them. But if you’re think that you\u2019ve healed and moved on, and are still constantly talking about someone you used to date, it could be a sign that there\u2019s more emotional work to be done. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sign #2: You date erratically.<\/b>
\n<\/span>\u201cAnother indicator is erratic dating and feeling the need to jump from date to date,\u201d says Rodgers. \u201cTypically those who aren’t over the last breakup need distraction after distraction, so they jump into dating patterns that aren’t totally in character for them.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve all heard about rebounding. But rebounding isn\u2019t only about forgetting an ex, it\u2019s often an attempt to try to replace an ex and replace the way the ex made you feel. This  can end up landing you in dating situations that may hurt you more than you expected. It\u2019s important to make sure that you\u2019re not using a rebound as a bandaid.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen you aren’t honest with yourself about whether or not you\u2019re over an ex, you tend to suppress feelings and distract yourself with anything that will hold your attention,\u201d says Rodgers. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The tactics that help you avoid the pain of a breakup or loss can help at first when the pain is unbearable, but those things need to be acknowledged and worked through over time. It\u2019s important to not party, work, or date away the pain of a breakup when you need to face those feelings head on. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sign #3: You try to see them. <\/b>
\n<\/span>Another sign that you may not be over an ex is if you purposefully go places where you\u2019re likely to run into them. It may not be intentional, but when you\u2019re healing from a breakup, it\u2019s a good practice to stay clear of the places you think your ex may be.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sign #4: You hold onto their stuff.
\n<\/b>\u201cAnd the final sign I commonly see is holding onto an ex’s valuables,\u201d says Rodgers. \u201cTypically when someone is over an ex, they want to get rid of their junk in the house. But when a breakup is still fresh and feelings are lingering, people hold onto those possessions as safety blankets.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s important that you don\u2019t rush the process of moving on, but instead recognize that you\u2019re healing from a relationship and that it will take time. <\/span>There\u2019s no one correct way to get over a breakup, but seeing your hurt for what it is can be an important step in the process. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou will get over it. We are built for rejection,\u201d explains Rodgers. \u201cIt’s a natural human emotion and it is hardly ever a permanent state of mind. And, if all else fails, time alone will heal it.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do they seem to come up in the conversation a lot? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":178,"featured_media":18228,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[983,973],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breaking-up","category-moving-on"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n4 Signs You Aren't Over Your Ex: Insights From A Life Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Counselor Kali Rodgers, M.S., who is also the CEO & Founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, shares some of the signs that you aren\u2019t over your ex\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/signs-you-arent-over-you-ex\/\" \/>\n<meta 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