{"id":18252,"date":"2019-02-21T01:00:55","date_gmt":"2019-02-21T09:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18252"},"modified":"2021-10-26T01:25:00","modified_gmt":"2021-10-26T08:25:00","slug":"modern-day-breakup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/","title":{"rendered":"Blocking and Ghosting and Social Media Creeping, Oh My! How to Navigate a Modern-Day Breakup"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Back in the day (which was really only like ten years ago) when a relationship ended, you could part ways with someone and be at least relatively certain you could avoid seeing them. All you had to do was stay away from their favorite hang-outs, avoid the grocery store you know they shop at, find a new gym. And while the once-every-blue-moon run-in might happen, for the most part, you knew geography was destiny and you could steer clear of their neighborhood until the end of time if you needed to.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s modern, technology-driven world, within the first two seconds of checking your phone in the morning, you might be besieged with one ex\u2019s engagement photos on Instagram, another updating his relationship status on Facebook, and yet another sharing his 280-character declaration of love for his new girlfriend on Twitter. Yes, it seems you can\u2019t leave the virtual house these days without bumping into one of your exes on the corner of Snapchat and Pinterest. This can be particularly painful if your ex Casper\u2019d or Houdini\u2019d you but has now turned into the World\u2019s Best Boyfriend for You 2.0.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re anything like me, when a relationship ends, you would be happy to ship your ex off to a deserted island, never to be seen or heard from again. Maybe to the same island that houses all of our lost socks from the dryer and bobby pins. (Why do socks and bobby pins disappear while hangers multiply?) Or, in the words of Miranda Hobbs: \u201cI\u2019d love to be all: \u2018We loved, thank you. You enriched my life, now go prosper.\u2019 But I\u2019m more: \u2018We didn\u2019t work out. You need to not exist.\u2019\u201d (Sex & the City is and will always be my relationship guiding light. Even 20 years later, it still holds up.)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But unfortunately, since that Island of Misfit Boys doesn\u2019t yet exist, we\u2019re forced to learn to confront and co-exist with our Ghosts of Relationships Past, if not in real-time, than at least online. So how do we do that? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are my Top 5 Tips for Navigating a Modern-Day Breakup:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Stay off social media.<\/b>
\n<\/span>First and foremost, don\u2019t be afraid to take a little social media detox following a heartbreak. Chances are you could use the time and peace and quiet to heal anyway. One of my favorite quotes by Anne Lamott says this: \u201cAlmost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t have to rush to make some grand announcement about the end of your relationship. (Ugh, don\u2019t you hate when you read those extra cringey public Facebook declarations by people that they are no longer \u201cIn a Relationship\u201d?) Unless you\u2019re an actress, a princess, or a washed-up reality star, there\u2019s really no need to make a formal announcement about your split. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And on that note, you might even consider not announcing your relationship on social media at all until you\u2019re 100% sure it\u2019s the real deal. I say that because I made the mistake of going public with my last serious relationship, only to turn around and have to recall everything I had posted three months later when it ended. I\u2019m not shaming myself or anyone out there who chooses to put their relationship online\u2026I\u2019m just saying sometimes a little discretion goes a long way. Everyone doesn\u2019t need to know every single detail of your life the moment something happens. Some things are better kept close to your heart, at least until you know for sure that you\u2019re both in it for the long haul.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Hide your crazy. <\/b>
\n<\/span>Don\u2019t post emo quote after emo quote or passive aggressive meme after passive aggressive meme. Believe me, I get the temptation to be petty. I can be Petty Crocker, Petty Boop, and Petty White all rolled into one sometimes. But honestly, at the end of the day, making constant online digs just comes off as childish and a little desperate. When a relationship ends, you are better served by putting your dignity on display and taking the high road instead of trying to engage your ex in a war of memes. They don\u2019t get to be with you anymore and that is punishment enough.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Unfriend, unfollow, delete. <\/b>
\n<\/span>You don\u2019t have to and shouldn\u2019t stay connected to your ex on social media immediately following a breakup, no matter how amicable the breakup was. Maybe at some distant time in the future you can reconnect as friends, but for now, when the wounds are still fresh\u2014out of sight, out of mind is the best approach. But\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Don\u2019t block your ex\u2026 unless you have to. <\/b>
\n<\/span>I\u2019m of the opinion that blocking is in the same family with passive aggressive memes. It just looks extra and overly dramatic. Disconnecting from them will accomplish the same thing without all the theatrics. One of my exes blocked me after we ended things and I didn\u2019t even find out until months later because I literally never went to his social media pages. When I did find out, it seemed over-the-top and silly. I was baffled. We had never even been online friends on any platform, so what was the point? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, to prove my above point about how I can sometimes be the Queen of Petty: Why block them when you can force them to watch you move on with your fabulous life instead? I mean, if they choose to stalk your pages, it\u2019s not your fault what they see. And what they should see is you living your best life, not blocking them out of some desperate need for attention or to get a reaction. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. DO NOT STALK THEM ONLINE. <\/b>
\n<\/span>This is the most important point. (And this is where the blocking might have to be put into play, if your browser seems to magically drift to their Instagram page every time you pick up your phone.) If you need to block your ex for your own peace of mind, have at it. But i you can, simply just refrain from visiting their pages for any reason. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the first couple of months after my last ex and I broke up, I stalked his Instagram page every few days. And then he started posting about another woman, saying the same exact things about her that he had said about me just two months prior, and it shattered me. It became increasingly bad for my mental health so I stopped online stalking him cold turkey and I\u2019ve never again looked at his pages. There\u2019s just no need. It did nothing good for me and just kept me mired up in the past instead of moving on into my bright and amazing future. I haven\u2019t looked at an ex\u2019s page in months and it feels amazing. Remember, they are your ex for a reason. When you\u2019re tempted to sneak a peek at their Facebook page, remember that reason. Then text or call a friend instead.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Modern dating can sometimes feel like the Hunger Games, but that doesn\u2019t mean you have to volunteer as tribute. A great way to move on from a breakup is to put all that time and energy you were putting into them into loving yourself. Because at the end of the day, moving on and living a fabulous life is the best revenge!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tip #3: Unfriend, unfollow, delete. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":18253,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[983,998,973],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breaking-up","category-break-up","category-moving-on"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nNavigating A Modern-Day Breakup In The Age Of Social Media<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"With social media it's hard to escape reminders of your ex, so how do you navigate breaking up? Here are a few tips to get your through it.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Navigating A Modern-Day Breakup In The Age Of Social Media\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"With social media it's hard to escape reminders of your ex, so how do you navigate breaking up? Here are a few tips to get your through it.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TheSingleWoman\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-02-21T09:00:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-10-26T08:25:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/11114745\/modern-day-breakup.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mandy Hale\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/TheSingleWoman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Mandy Hale\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Navigating A Modern-Day Breakup In The Age Of Social Media","description":"With social media it's hard to escape reminders of your ex, so how do you navigate breaking up? Here are a few tips to get your through it.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Navigating A Modern-Day Breakup In The Age Of Social Media","og_description":"With social media it's hard to escape reminders of your ex, so how do you navigate breaking up? Here are a few tips to get your through it.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TheSingleWoman","article_published_time":"2019-02-21T09:00:55+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-10-26T08:25:00+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/11114745\/modern-day-breakup.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Mandy Hale","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/TheSingleWoman","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Mandy Hale","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/"},"author":{"name":"Mandy Hale","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/073dbc503de9ba4b36fb38230c106d9c"},"headline":"Blocking and Ghosting and Social Media Creeping, Oh My! How to Navigate a Modern-Day Breakup","datePublished":"2019-02-21T09:00:55+00:00","dateModified":"2021-10-26T08:25:00+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/"},"wordCount":1271,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/11114745\/modern-day-breakup.jpg","articleSection":["Breaking Up Tips","Breakups","Moving On"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/","name":"Navigating A Modern-Day Breakup In The Age Of Social Media","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/11114745\/modern-day-breakup.jpg","datePublished":"2019-02-21T09:00:55+00:00","dateModified":"2021-10-26T08:25:00+00:00","description":"With social media it's hard to escape reminders of your ex, so how do you navigate breaking up? Here are a few tips to get your through it.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/11114745\/modern-day-breakup.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/11114745\/modern-day-breakup.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"A woman going through a modern day breakup, on her bed laughing to herself with her hand on her head."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/modern-day-breakup\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Relationships","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Breaking Up Tips","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"Blocking and Ghosting and Social Media Creeping, Oh My! How to Navigate a Modern-Day Breakup"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/073dbc503de9ba4b36fb38230c106d9c","name":"Mandy Hale","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/avatar_user_182_1548784532-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/avatar_user_182_1548784532-96x96.jpg","caption":"Mandy Hale"},"description":"Blogger turned New York Times best-selling author Mandy Hale is the creator of The Single Woman social media movement that has revolutionized what it means to be single. The author of four books, her empowering message reaches millions of women across the world every day. Mandy has been collaborating with Zoosk, sharing her experience and expertise to help like-minded online daters to find the relationship that's right for them.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TheSingleWoman","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/thesinglewoman\/?hl=en","https:\/\/x.com\/https:\/\/twitter.com\/TheSingleWoman"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/mandy-hale\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18252"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18252\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18253"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}