{"id":18403,"date":"2019-02-18T08:00:22","date_gmt":"2019-02-18T16:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18403"},"modified":"2021-12-08T01:36:50","modified_gmt":"2021-12-08T09:36:50","slug":"breakup-letter-examples","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/","title":{"rendered":"Breakup Letter Examples and Tips on What to Say"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

All breakups exist on scale of hard to gut-wrenching. There\u2019s no way to magically help you get over them<\/a>, but expressing yourself in a breakup letter can make things easier. Letters give you time to sit and compose your words calmly and thoughtfully in the way an emotional conversation might not allow.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They also allow your ex to understand what happened from your point of view. When they receive the letter they can\u2019t rebut what you\u2019re saying, they can only accept and reflect on your words. A breakup letter isn\u2019t in place of a face-to-face conversation, but it\u2019s a good follow-up, a parting note for someone you once cared about. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re having trouble figuring out how to start your breakup letter, here are some examples of different kinds of breakups for you to draw inspiration from.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breakup Letter Examples<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. The \u201cPeople Change\u201d Breakup
<\/b>Most breakups happen when two people drift apart<\/a>. Start by acknowledging how great things were once, then let your ex now how you felt at the end. It\u2019s important to show how things fell apart, so your partner is clear. Remember, this letter isn\u2019t about blaming them, just showing what happened. Leave any anger out of it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Example:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear Kris,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a point in my life where I was sure we were the same person. I couldn\u2019t get enough of you. You challenged me but always listened to the answer. You asked me for more than I could give, and I was the better for it. I still think about that night we stayed up all night on the beach and you told me you knew I was special even though we\u2019d just met. Even today, I\u2019m sure you meant it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s not like that anymore. We don\u2019t see each other as special. We\u2019re each other\u2019s after work obligations. A friend that you promised to see but hoped would cancel. There\u2019s no joy in it, and that\u2019s not a relationship I want to be in. I\u2019m not mad, but I\u2019m not happy either. I\u2019ll always look back on our relationship as something beautiful in my heart, but we didn\u2019t do the work to keep it that way. I\u2019m not blaming anyone. That\u2019s just how it is, and that\u2019s why it\u2019s over.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Goodbye,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jorge<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. The Disrespectful Breakup
\n<\/b>This type of letter is for breakups that were particularly nasty, usually involving lies or cheating. The point isn\u2019t to take unnecessary digs\u2014it\u2019s about holding your ex accountable for betraying your trust. Write this letter for yourself without regard for your ex. This is about acknowledging your hurt to move past it. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Example:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Harrison,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously, you know it\u2019s over, but that\u2019s not why I\u2019m writing. I\u2019m writing because there was a lot of yelling the last time we talked, and I didn\u2019t say what I needed to. At least, I didn\u2019t say it in the way I needed to. I loved you, and you hurt me. You betrayed my trust, and I feel like I\u2019m going to be messed up forever by this. Do you know how that feels?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I loved you, and I know you loved me, or at least felt something close to it. If you walked out, it would\u2019ve sucked, but I could\u2019ve handled it. But instead you chose to lie. For how long? I don\u2019t even know at this point.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person I thought I knew would\u2019ve treated me with more respect. I don\u2019t care if you read this, but I hope for the sake of whoever you end up with that you do. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ailene<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. The \u201cFollow Your Dreams\u201d Breakup
<\/b>This type of breakup letter is for situations where somebody has to move for school or work to follow their passion. Sometimes, other things take precedence over a relationship, even a relationship with someone you love deeply. Acknowledge your love for your ex. Remind them it\u2019s not their fault that it happened this way. This is one of those times to use the clich\u00e9 it\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me and actually mean it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Example:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear Jen,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It sounds clich\u00e9, I know, but this isn\u2019t about you. It\u2019s about me. I have to take the job, because it\u2019s what I\u2019ve been working towards for the last five years. You know that. You were with me for a lot of it. And it\u2019s not your path to come along. You can\u2019t just leave everything you have behind to follow me. I can\u2019t guarantee I\u2019ll be able to give you what you need if you do.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once told me 90% of love is timing, and that feels right, right about now. I\u2019m sorry that this is the way things happened, and I\u2019m not just saying that. I loved you, and you\u2019ll always have a special place in my heart. Please don\u2019t be mad at me.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. The One-Sided Breakup
\n<\/b>Sometimes, you know that it\u2019s never going to work out. You gave it a shot for long enough, and it isn\u2019t happening. This style of breakup letter requires that you be cold, not mean, but cold. You can\u2019t leave any room for ambiguity here. The breakup is coming from you, so you don\u2019t want to give them hope that they can win you back. Let them know how you feel in no uncertain terms and allow them to ask questions, but after that remind them it\u2019s over for good.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Example:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear Raoul,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know how else to put it, but I\u2019m just not feeling what we have anymore. I thought it was what I wanted, but it\u2019s not. You\u2019re not a bad person. You\u2019re smart, kind, and attractive, but that element X\u2014the spark, the passion, the zing, whatever you want to call it\u2014is missing. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sorry if it came as a surprise. If you look at both of us on paper, us as a couple makes sense, but you and I both know that\u2019s not how love works. I can\u2019t do this anymore. I need to move on, and you do, too. If you have any other questions, ask away, but after that we can\u2019t talk.  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Farewell,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alfonso<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. The \u201cLet\u2019s Be Friends\u201d Breakup
\n<\/b>This style of letter is for breakups that were mutual when the passion fizzled, and you\u2019re looking to just be friends. There\u2019s no anger here. The biggest hurdle with writing these letters is making sure that you emphasize that you\u2019re willing to put in the work to be friends. Don\u2019t be mistaken, it is work. It can get awkward sometimes, so it\u2019s important to acknowledge that and move on, full steam ahead.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Example: <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear Tom,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think you saw this one coming. Well, I know you did. We talked about it a ton. Funny how it works out that way sometimes. I want you to know that I did love you, but this feels right. Thanks for everything. I really mean it and I\u2019m excited for what\u2019s next.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I sign off, I just want to say, let\u2019s not make it weird. I meant it when I said I want to be friends\u2026 I actually want to make it work. I know everyone says they will, but then it just fizzles and everyone involved feels weird about it. We have it too good to let that happen. Anyway, chat soon.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lizzie<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A breakup letters is a way for you to get closure when you weren\u2019t able to express yourself in person. When emotions run high, it\u2019s sometimes hard to get out what you need to say. Figure out which type of situation you\u2019re in and write the appropriate letter. Good luck.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes writing a letter can give you the closure you need. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":162,"featured_media":18408,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[998,973],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18403","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-break-up","category-moving-on"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBreakup Letter Examples and Tips on What to Say<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you\u2019re having trouble figuring out how to start your breakup letter, here are some examples for you to draw inspiration from.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Breakup Letter Examples and Tips on What to Say\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you\u2019re having trouble figuring out how to start your breakup letter, here are some examples for you to draw inspiration from.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-02-18T16:00:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-12-08T09:36:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/27120021\/breakup-letter-examples.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Alex Bocknek\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Alex Bocknek\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Breakup Letter Examples and Tips on What to Say","description":"If you\u2019re having trouble figuring out how to start your breakup letter, here are some examples for you to draw inspiration from.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Breakup Letter Examples and Tips on What to Say","og_description":"If you\u2019re having trouble figuring out how to start your breakup letter, here are some examples for you to draw inspiration from.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_published_time":"2019-02-18T16:00:22+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-12-08T09:36:50+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/27120021\/breakup-letter-examples.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Alex Bocknek","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Zoosk","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Alex Bocknek","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/"},"author":{"name":"Alex Bocknek","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/bdaa210a544819a6f8d4a4247d51b246"},"headline":"Breakup Letter Examples and Tips on What to Say","datePublished":"2019-02-18T16:00:22+00:00","dateModified":"2021-12-08T09:36:50+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/"},"wordCount":1352,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/27120021\/breakup-letter-examples.jpg","articleSection":["Breakups","Moving On"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/","name":"Breakup Letter Examples and Tips on What to Say","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/27120021\/breakup-letter-examples.jpg","datePublished":"2019-02-18T16:00:22+00:00","dateModified":"2021-12-08T09:36:50+00:00","description":"If you\u2019re having trouble figuring out how to start your breakup letter, here are some examples for you to draw inspiration from.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/27120021\/breakup-letter-examples.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/02\/27120021\/breakup-letter-examples.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"A woman using these breakup letter examples to write her own breakup letter while sitting in a field outside."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/breakup-letter-examples\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Breakups","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Breakup Letter Examples and Tips on What to Say"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/bdaa210a544819a6f8d4a4247d51b246","name":"Alex Bocknek","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/avatar_user_162_1531435580-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/avatar_user_162_1531435580-96x96.jpg","caption":"Alex Bocknek"},"description":"Alex Bocknek is a renowned dating and relationship expert with extensive experience in the field. With a deep understanding of human connections and an empathetic approach, Alex has helped countless individuals navigate the complexities of modern dating. As a featured author on Zoosk.com's Date Mix platform, Alex shares valuable insights, practical advice, and expert tips to empower individuals in their journey to find love and build fulfilling relationships. With a passion for helping others, Alex's articles provide a unique blend of personal experiences, research-based knowledge, and relatable storytelling that resonates with readers.","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/alex-bocknek\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18403","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/162"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18403"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18403\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18408"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18403"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18403"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18403"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}