{"id":18511,"date":"2019-03-07T08:00:27","date_gmt":"2019-03-07T16:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18511"},"modified":"2021-12-08T04:27:31","modified_gmt":"2021-12-08T12:27:31","slug":"funny-dating-profiles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/funny-dating-profiles\/","title":{"rendered":"17 Funny Dating Profiles That Are Hilarious (and Maybe Genius)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If you\u2019ve been online dating for any amount of time, you\u2019ve seen bad profiles. They\u2019re either sparse, copied from someone more clever, use The Office as a character trait, or are completely blank. Then, you come across the perfect profile. It might be five words, three paragraphs, or a hilarious photo, but either way you\u2019re in stitches. We\u2019ve scoured the internet (and the best dating apps<\/a>) to pull together a list of some super funny dating profiles.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Funny Dating Profiles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. The Truth<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re smart. This ain\u2019t your first rodeo. And you\u2019re not about to fall for the preposterous claims made by so many of the profiles on this site. So here\u2019s a refreshing perspective\u2014the truth. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I pay my mortgage. I wear socks that match. I\u2019m an honest man, with a decent career and strong values. So While I could regale you with stories of my trips to Paris or how I resemble Ryan Gosling…I know that good communication\u2019s a foundation for every relationship. So if we\u2019re on the same wavelength, read on…<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Exaggeration <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I am a rocket scientist. I\u2019ve appeared on the cover of GQ\u2014twice. And after mastering Italian, I became an international super spy. Right now, I\u2019m yachting my way across the Caribbean, stealing top-secret information, and sipping mai tais…shaken, not stirred.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

…Okay, fine. I exaggerated *just* a smidge. But I do like a good mai tai and I got a B+ in my 5th grade science class.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Blurbs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a beast…in the kitchen\u201d – Food & Wine<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOur go-to guy for fashion advice\u201d – GQ<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI wish he was my personal trainer.\u201d – The Hulk<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGod made him so firemen would have a hero\u201d – every fireman ever<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m so glad she swiped right\u201d – your mom<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What else do you need to know?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. J\/K!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Married with a baby on the way. Prefer the term \u201ccollector\u201d to \u201choarder.\u201d Bonus points if you can look after my gerbil collection.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And: J\/K! Single consultant who loves surfing. Into daily exercise so I don\u2019t feel guilty when I grab ice cream.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your turn…Do you prefer swimming, dancing, or a 24-hour Netflix marathon?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. A Few of My Favorite Things<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"An<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I like\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Frito smell of dog paws.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I randomly decide to call an old friend and they say \u201cI was just thinking about you!\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The way little kids get grumpy and confused when they\u2019re tired.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That moment I get that Bumble BOOM! Message, and know someone I liked is into me too.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Goblin<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Passionate goblin with 10+ years of experience, seeking to increase profitability for National Goblin Association. At \u2014 Goblin headquarters, slashed costs by 32% in 6 months by implementing Bloodletting training across all departments. Cut stockroom waste by 65% with new garbage binging techniques. Skilled in bone cleaning, whispering while in the dark, and proficient in Microsoft office.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. The Girl You Can Take Home to Your Family<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we\u2019ll slowly phase you out.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Alpha Male<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I hope you like alpha males because I\u2019m your guy. That\u2019s right, I\u2019m the whole package. I\u2019ll defend your honor in public, won\u2019t take shit from waiters, and I\u2019ll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Christmas Tree<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Best Travel Story<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was in New Orleans when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Long story short, my nipple may or may not have been pierced.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Not Down to Earth<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not down to earth at al. If you don\u2019t reply to my text I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o\u2019clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. I hate drinking tea and doing craft. I hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine, and parks. And Cider, I hate Cider.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. Definitely Not a Murderer<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My self-summary
\nI\u2019m a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder. I\u2019m looking for love, companionship, or just that one lovely evening (and rest assured that that one lovely evening will absolutely end with you back at your house, safe, and sound!) Let me take you into my magical world of not murdering anyone, ever, for any reason.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I\u2019m doing with my life
\n<\/span>I\u2019ll tell you this right up front: Certainly not murdering ANYONE, least of all you! Beyond that, mostly digging.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

13. A Terrible Liar<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My self-summary
\nHere are the quick and dirty facts so you can get back to clicking through my photos: I\u2019m a terrible liar and an excellent +1. You can usually find me managing my investments, hitting the gym, or catching up with a friend over cocktails and tapas. And I\u2019m incredibly judgemental…when it comes to T-bone steaks. Otherwise, I\u2019m pretty easygoing. \ud83d\ude09<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I\u2019m doing with my life
\n<\/span>When I\u2019m not in the ER, you can often find me visiting the kind of far flung destination that requires a passport. Remote locations like Santiago or Zanzibar have always spoken to me. But usually it\u2019s in Spanish or Swahili…so I can\u2019t understand a word they\u2019re saying.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

14. The Best Thing on the Internet<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

About Me<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ladies, your time has come. I\u2019m serious – stop reading and message me right away, because I am the best thing that could ever happen to you on the internet. Better than gym selfies. Better than 14 Facebook likes. And even better than kitten GIFs. Okay, okay, maybe not better than those. Because what can top that?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we\u2019re being honest, I\u2019m probably not really the \u201cbest thing\u201d ever. I have falws too. First of all, I don\u2019t have Jon Snow\u2019s flowing locks. I sometimes wash my lights with my darks. And I never ask for directions – ever. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe you can see past that thought? \ud83d\ude09<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As for my career… Well, I got my first taste of what it means to be an entrepreneur when I was a kid, selling 25 cent cups of lemonade and giving away free extra-salty potato chips. I\u2019ve since moved up to buying and selling Internet comapnies, but I still love Lay\u2019s potato chips.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m a non-apologetic big city dweller at heart, but that doesn\u2019t stop me from rounding up friends on a beautiful weekend and hitting the ski slopes, or grabbing my mountain bike for some trail riding. And I\u2019m always thinking about my next trip\u2026 I hear good things about New Zealand.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As for the woman I\u2019d like to meet\u2026 Your friends would describe you as \u201cintelligent,\u201d \u201cambitious,\u201d and \u201ckleptomaniacal\u201d… Okay, maybe not the last one. And while I love potatoes in most of their forms, \u201ccouch potato\u201d isn\u2019t one of them. Physical fitness is important to you, as it is to me. And while you don\u2019t have to host your own NatGeo show, having a few awesome travel stories wouldn\u2019t hurt.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

15. Cute and Smart<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Respiratory Therapy Student<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cute enough to take your breath away, smart enough to bring it back.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

16. Mat<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m just hoping you don\u2019t walk all over me \ud83d\ude09<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And now for one of our all-time favourite funny dating profiles…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

17. Forever Single<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spend a lot of time thinking about<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will I be single all my life<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We hope you enjoyed these funny dating profiles. Now get out there and write your own<\/a>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve scoured the internet (and the best dating apps) to to find some of the funniest dating profiles.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":162,"featured_media":18531,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n17 Funny Dating Profiles That Are Hilarious (and Maybe Genius)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We\u2019ve scoured the internet (and the best dating apps) to pull together a list of some truly funny dating profiles that will crack you up.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/funny-dating-profiles\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"17 Funny Dating Profiles That Are Hilarious (and Maybe Genius)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We\u2019ve scoured the internet (and the best dating apps) to pull together a list of some truly funny dating profiles that will crack you up.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/funny-dating-profiles\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-03-07T16:00:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-12-08T12:27:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/03\/08103008\/funny-dating-profile.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta 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Bocknek","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/avatar_user_162_1531435580-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/avatar_user_162_1531435580-96x96.jpg","caption":"Alex Bocknek"},"description":"Alex Bocknek is a renowned dating and relationship expert with extensive experience in the field. With a deep understanding of human connections and an empathetic approach, Alex has helped countless individuals navigate the complexities of modern dating. As a featured author on Zoosk.com's Date Mix platform, Alex shares valuable insights, practical advice, and expert tips to empower individuals in their journey to find love and build fulfilling relationships. With a passion for helping others, Alex's articles provide a unique blend of personal experiences, research-based knowledge, and relatable storytelling that resonates with readers.","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/alex-bocknek\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18511","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/162"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18511"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18511\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18511"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18511"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18511"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}