{"id":18672,"date":"2019-03-31T01:00:10","date_gmt":"2019-03-31T08:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18672"},"modified":"2021-05-31T09:11:55","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T16:11:55","slug":"signs-youre-dating-dud","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-women\/signs-youre-dating-dud\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Signs You\u2019re Dating a Dud and Not a Stud"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I get emails from you lovely humans quite often, asking me \u201cHow do I know if this guy I\u2019m dating is really a good guy?\u201d or \u201cHow do I know if he\u2019s in this for REAL?\u201d And I like to think there are a few pretty clear signs to look for in the early stages of a relationship to know if it\u2019s going places.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, without further adieu, here are my top five signs you might be dating a dud and not a stud (<\/span>Grease<\/span><\/i> is one of my all-time favorite films and who doesn\u2019t love that line at the end: \u2018Tell me about it, STUD\u2019?! So basically you can thank Sandy and Danny for this article\u2019s title.)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You have to make all the effort.<\/strong>
\nIf you\u2019re constantly the one calling, pursuing, making plans, initiating contact\u2026 chances are, he\u2019s not that invested in the relationship. Here\u2019s the thing: This isn\u2019t some archaic, old-fashioned, \u201cI need him to chase me around while I sniff my smelling salts and wave my handkerchief around,\u201d mentality. It\u2019s an, \u201cA man will always go after what he really wants\u201d reality. With any relationship, friendship or otherwise, if the effort is unbalanced, it has nowhere to go but down.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He only texts, never calls.<\/strong>
\nNo, millennials, you don\u2019t get a pass here. I know that texting is the most awesome thing ever invented, but you can\u2019t possibly create a solid foundation for a relationship based solely upon text messages. It just won\u2019t work. Part of the fun and magic of a new relationship is talking on the phone til 2:00 and 3:00 a.m. when you have to be up early the next morning. That requires actual time and energy and emotion, not just endless emojis. (But I do love me some emojis. And gifs.)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

His idea of a great date is, \u201cNetflix and chill.\u201d<\/strong>
\nThis one speaks for itself. You can tell a lot about a guy\u2019s feelings for you by the time of day he contacts you: at 2 p.m. in the middle of the day when he\u2019s busy but wants you to know he\u2019s thinking about you, or at 2 a.m. when he\u2019s been out partying with his buddies and wants you to come over. If it\u2019s always the latter, chances are he\u2019s admiring your booty and not your beauty.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

His idea of chivalry is going Dutch.<\/strong>
\nHe doesn\u2019t at least OFFER to pick up the tab on the first date. Even if
\nyou\u2019re a girl power, feminist, \u2018I got this\u2019 kinda girl…I still think it\u2019s the
\ngentlemanly thing for the man to pay the first few times you go out. Or
\nat least make the offer, then you can decide if you want to let him or
\nnot.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You only hear from him sporadically.<\/strong>
\nIf the only way he\u2019s consistent is in his inconsistency, chances are he\u2019s got you on rotation with several other ladies. If you\u2019re okay with that, by all means, stick it out and see if things change or if communication gets better. But also be prepared for the fact that you might invest in the situation in the short term only to wind up being played in the long run. If he\u2019s completely erratic and A.D.D. and his attention is being pulled in 27 different directions from day one of dating, it\u2019s probably best to say “thank u, next” and hit the road before you get any more attached.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously new relationships take some time to get off the ground, so I would give it at least a few weeks or a month before making a judgment call on his Dud or Stud status. But if you\u2019ve been seeing him for awhile and he\u2019s regularly ticking two or more of these boxes, my magic eight-ball says Outlook Not So Good. A person will usually show you who they are pretty quickly, so if he\u2019s flying that Dud flag high, it\u2019s time for you to say #BoyBye. And don\u2019t look back. Your Danny Zuko is waiting. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are a few signs to look for in the early stages of a relationship to know if it\u2019s going places.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":18673,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[886],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18672","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-women"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n5 Signs You\u2019re Dating a Dud and Not a Stud<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I like to think there are a few pretty clear signs to look for in the early stages of a relationship to know if it\u2019s going places.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-women\/signs-youre-dating-dud\/\" 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