{"id":18696,"date":"2019-03-28T01:00:03","date_gmt":"2019-03-28T08:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18696"},"modified":"2021-05-31T09:12:21","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T16:12:21","slug":"how-to-tell-if-a-guy-is-using-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/how-to-tell-if-a-guy-is-using-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Tell If a Guy Is Just Using You"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

We’ve all been in a situation where we are super into a guy, but things just aren\u2019t adding up. Yeah, they\u2019re super affectionate and awesome and even tell you they love you, but why don\u2019t you ever see them in the daytime? Or maybe they always have elaborate excuses why they don\u2019t text or call during regular hours, but are those even for real? Maybe they always have exactly the right thing to say to ease your concerns, but you still have this nagging suspicion that something\u2019s not right. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some questions to ask yourself if you\u2019re unsure whether you\u2019re being used: <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Is the relationship one-sided?<\/strong>
\nDoes he only talk about himself or only ask about you? Both are red flags. Either he\u2019s so self-centered that he doesn\u2019t realize you don\u2019t want to hear the minutiae of his workout practice that day or he doesn\u2019t want to share anything with you and instead wants you to dominate the conversation. The latter is more insidious because you may think he\u2019s very interested, but then realize you know nothing about him because he\u2019s constantly deflecting all of your questions back at you. This is a great hook because you\u2019re likely to bring your guard down much earlier. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. When is he texting\/calling you?<\/strong>
\nDoes it seem like he\u2019s mostly only reaching out at night and he\u2019s mute throughout the day? He might have good excuses like, \u201cI\u2019m too busy at work,\u201d but is that realistic? Probably not. Everyone can find snatches of time throughout the day to text, even if they have the busiest jobs, and he would likely be doing that if you were a priority. If he really can\u2019t text or call throughout the day, is he doing so once he gets off work or is he then waiting hours and hours before giving you a ring, when it\u2019s conveniently close to \u201cbed\u201d time? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. How does he respond to you talking about commitment?<\/strong>
\nMaybe you want exclusivity and therefore want him to delete his dating apps, so you ask him about it. Is he evasive or is he on board? Does he say, \u201cI have them on my phone, but I never use them,” or does he do it right away? If he\u2019s still got them on his phone, that means he has easy access to start them back up, and if he\u2019s not using them, why even have them on there? A guy who\u2019s certain about you is going to have no problem deleting them for good. And what about the \u201clabels\u201d situation? Does he try to avoid talking about that altogether or is he just not into them? This is important to assess because if he\u2019s not willing to say you\u2019re exclusive or that he’s your boyfriend, then he may not be willing to do those things either. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. How giving is he in the bedroom?<\/strong>
\nAre your needs being met? Yes or no? Do your needs even factor into the equation? You may want to say things like, \u201cI mean they are, but\u2026\u201d If there\u2019s even a question or a \u2018but\u2019 in there, the answer is no no no. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. How does he respond when you share your feelings?<\/strong>
\nIf he\u2019s quick to make an excuse when you start talking or can\u2019t take a break from his phone for one second or says things like, \u201cI don\u2019t know what you want me to do with that information,\u201d he\u2019s not someone you should share your feelings or your bed with. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You accept whatever you think you deserve, so if you realize you\u2019re being used and don\u2019t WANT to be used, your next step should be cutting things off completely. You might want to talk yourself out of it, but you have to remember that if it\u2019s not right now, it\u2019s not ever going to be right. Someone who thinks it\u2019s okay to use you isn\u2019t going to start acting respectfully tomorrow. You also have to know you deserve so much more and not accept that kind of behavior moving forward. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We’ve all been in a situation where we are super into a guy, but things just aren\u2019t adding up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":177,"featured_media":18702,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884,886],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","category-dating-advice-women"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Tell If a Guy Is Just Using You<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We've all been in a situation where we are super into a guy, but things just aren\u2019t adding up. But how can you tell if a guy is playing games with you? 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