{"id":18864,"date":"2019-04-23T14:00:37","date_gmt":"2019-04-23T21:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18864"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:50:30","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:50:30","slug":"selfless-love-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/selfless-love-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"What Does It Mean To Have Selfless Love in a Relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being selfless is all about putting the needs of others before your own. If you practice selflessness in your relationship regularly, it\u2019s sure to run pretty smoothly. But realistically, it\u2019s easier to be more selfish in love than it is to be selfless. If you want your relationship to last, experts say having selfless love may be the key. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cAs a therapist, I\u2019ve seen couples who come in seeking help for reasons where selfless love is simply the answer,\u201d <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Darcia Belizaire, Primary Therapist at the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.foundationswellness.net\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Foundations Wellness Center<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, tells The Date Mix. \u201cB<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">eing selfless is defined as putting the needs of others before your own, but in a relationship I believe it includes the needs of your partner along with yours. It\u2019s being okay with making sacrifices sometimes and growing from that.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Selfless love is important in a relationship because it shows how much you value your partner and the relationship itself. According to Belizaire, it promotes<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> healthy communication, healthy arguments, love, growth, and intimacy. It also decreases the opportunity for unwanted feelings, discord, lack of awareness, and understanding, and the demise of the relationship. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When there\u2019s selfless love in your relationship, you may notice the following things: <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You listen to your partner because you want to understand them.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cInstead of being defensive, you get curious and become open minded,\u201d <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/wisdomwithinct.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Katie Ziskind<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, licensed marriage and family therapist, tells The Date Mix. You actually take the time to listen to your partner because you want to understand them, their needs, their desires, and their goals for life. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIn reality, you always want to give back to yourself first, but the feelings of wanting to give your partner everything are still real,\u201d she says. \u201c<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Selfless<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is about being genuine, being a best friend, and being a romantic lover to your partner.\u201d Listening to them is simple but says a lot about how you see your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You know how to compromise.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Knowing how to compromise is essential if you want relationship success. When there\u2019s selfless love in your relationship, you and your partner understand just how important it is to compromise. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cSometimes it\u2019s inconvenient, it doesn\u2019t feel good, or you have something else you\u2019d rather be doing,\u201d <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Amy Hartle, Relationship Expert at <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/twodrifters.us\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Two Drifters<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, says. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cFor the one you love, this is a powerful action that helps strengthen your bond enormously, and it also helps you grow individually.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You focus more on what you can give rather than what you can get.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cThe root of love is giving,\u201d <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/jaxrubinoff\/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jacqui Rubinoff<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, Certified Love Coach and Relationship Expert, says. \u201cSelfless love focuses on what you can do for your partner rather than what your partner can do for you.\u201d When you\u2019re in a healthy relationship, there\u2019s an equal amount of give and take. It\u2019s truly a well-balanced partnership. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You make decisions that are beneficial to the relationship.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;Each relationship is comprised of two unique people, but the relationship creates a new third entity with needs that are distinct from the two people,\u201d <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/liz-colizza-mac-lpc-ncc-7a790b141\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Liz Colizza, MAC, LPC, NCC<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, Head of Research at relationship counseling app <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.getlasting.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lasting<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, tells The Date Mix. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This has been called the \u2018We.\u2019 When there\u2019s selfless love in your relationship, you make decisions that are good for the We as opposed to the Me. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">R<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">esearch shows that this sense of sacrifice is a strong indicator of relationship satisfaction.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You choose to make your relationship a priority.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cSelfless love is unconditional,\u201d says <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/myleswrites\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">dating coach Myles Scott<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. \u201c<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s not transactional. It&#8217;s the choice to put your relationship first and to radiate love regardless of circumstances.\u201d It doesn\u2019t matter where you are in life. When you choose to make your partner and relationship a priority, you\u2019re practicing selfless love. &nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s important to note that having selfless love doesn\u2019t mean losing yourself in your relationship. It\u2019s important to be selfish sometimes and get your needs met as well. But if both you and your partner practice selfless love, you\u2019ll both find the relationship to be truly satisfying. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p> If you want your relationship to last, experts say having selfless love may be the key. But what is it exactly?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":186,"featured_media":18898,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[987,997,891],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18864","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love","category-love-advice","category-relationship-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Does It Mean To Have Selfless Love in a Relationship?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Being selfless is all about putting the needs of others before your own. If you practice selflessness in your relationship regularly, it\u2019s sure to run pretty smoothly. 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