{"id":18881,"date":"2019-04-20T14:00:15","date_gmt":"2019-04-20T21:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18881"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:51:21","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:51:21","slug":"divorcing-a-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/divorce\/divorcing-a-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Expect When Divorcing a Narcissist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissistic person is totally selfish and self-serving, which can make an already difficult event like divorce, ten times harder.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That\u2019s probably not what you wanted to hear, but it\u2019s also probably what you already know deep down in your soul. But don\u2019t worry, you&#8217;ll get through this.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regardless of how long you\u2019ve been married, the truth is that the person who you\u2019ve fallen out of love with is the very same person you fell in love with\u2014they just did a great job of concealing their real character from you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Typical characteristics of a narcissist include:<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> A need for admiration<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> A need to be right<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> A need to be seen as the good guy<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> They fantasize about unlimited success, power, and beauty<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Overly critical<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Charismatic and appears to be successful<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Lacks the ability to feel remorse<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Has no conscience<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Lacks empathy (even for their own children)<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Has a need to control people, and control situations<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Has a strong sense of entitlement<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Will change their beliefs to match yours<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Emotionally unavailable<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Won\u2019t take responsibility for themselves, and blames others<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Hangs onto resentment<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Readily exploit others<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Can have anger issues<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Their ego runs the show<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Feels misunderstood<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Has no interest in solving problems or conflicts in relationships<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Jealous of other\u2019s success<\/span><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here\u2019s what to expect when divorcing a narcissist:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>They will completely dismiss any of your needs.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It doesn\u2019t matter if you\u2019ve been together 5 days or 50. A narcissist will act like the whole thing never happened. All those good memories and experiences from the past will have vanished into thin air, which can feel like you\u2019ve been emotionally betrayed.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Without these fond memories, there will be a distinct lack of balance and fairness on their part when it comes to divorce. Your needs will be non-existent to them, because their only care is their own needs.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>They just want to win.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are highly irrational, and will often mimic the behavior of a child when it comes to arguing their point and making sure they come out on top.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They won\u2019t listen to what you have to say, they will ram their opinion down your throat, and show everyone that they are right. Expect plenty of deflection, which they hope will keep you distracted and defensive, making them look better.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoid the urge to argue with them. Stay calm, explain things succinctly to your lawyer, and let them do the talking if things get too much.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>The road ahead will likely be bumpy.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every step along the way of the divorce, a narcissist will try and prove to the world that you are in the wrong, unhinged, and a danger to your children (if you have any). Be prepared for this. And the trouble is, if you become angry or frustrated and show any sign of this during any proceedings, you will only be playing up to the image they are painting of you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Expect the worst from this person, and that way you won\u2019t have any unexpected surprises that throw you off balance.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You might judge yourself for ever marrying them in the first place.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might find yourself looking at this person, many times, wondering why in hell you ever married such a person.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">First off, forgive them, because you need to if you\u2019re going to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/sometimes-you-have-to-let-go\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">let go and move on<\/a> from this.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Next, forgive yourself. Narcissists are very skilled at getting what they want\u2014no matter the costs. So, when you were dating, they probably charmed the pants off you, won you over, and made sure you didn\u2019t stand a chance. Their steely confidence might\u2019ve been one of the reasons why you were attracted to them in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Only once they won\u2014e.g. once you were in love with them or you were married\u2014they showed their true colors.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you know, you\u2019ll see the red flags next time.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Make sure you seek out support.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This will be the time to lean on friends and family, and ask them for support and advice when needed. Even they might not be able to understand the extent of this person\u2019s behavior, or the reality of the situation\u2014because your ex is probably great at pulling the wool over their eyes too.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be sure to hire a divorce attorney who has experience dealing with narcissistic personality disorder, or at least a good understanding of it, and how to deal with it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may also want to seek out a therapist to help comfort you during this stressful time.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A narcissistic person can make an already difficult situation ten times harder.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":18882,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[988],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18881","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What to Expect When Divorcing a Narcissist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A narcissistic person is totally selfish and self-serving, which can make an already difficult event like divorce, ten times harder.\u00a0\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/divorce\/divorcing-a-narcissist\/\" \/>\n<meta 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