{"id":18976,"date":"2019-05-15T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-05-15T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=18976"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:46:43","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:46:43","slug":"dating-after-a-breakup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating After A Breakup: How to Know If You’re Ready"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Whether you did the breaking or they did, it doesn\u2019t matter. There\u2019s no such thing as a painless breakup. Haagen Dazs makes millions every year banking on the fact that you\u2019re going to be in pain after your breakup. Sure, if you\u2019ve only been together a few months, it might hurt less than if you were together 10 years. But that doesn\u2019t mean, it doesn\u2019t hurt. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we\u2019re in love, it can feel amazing. You have your person, the person you count on, the one who picks you up when you\u2019re down, the one who holds you and kisses you, the one who pushes you out of your comfort zone. Often we call our significant other’s our other half. So when that person is gone, it can feel like half of you is gone too. It’s normal to want to replace that half with someone else, but that\u2019s not fair to you or to the person who may fill that role for you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s what to ask yourself to know if you\u2019re truly ready to date after a breakup:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. <\/strong>What is it that I want most out of a date right now?<\/strong>
\n<\/span>This is a good first question because it can help you distinguish what dating means to you in this moment. Are you missing the sexual aspects of being with someone? Then it might be that you\u2019re not really looking for a date, per say, and want more of a hook up. Are you missing your movie buddy, your hiking buddy, your cooking buddy? Then maybe buddy is the real word to focus on here. We often feel like we lose our best friend when we break up. You may be looking for a new best friend. Are you missing going out and meeting new people and making intimate connections? Then you\u2019re probably ready for serious dating. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. <\/strong>How fresh is the break-up?<\/strong>
\n<\/span>In most cases, you\u2019re probably not ready to date if the breakup happened just this week. For some people, you\u2019re not ready if it happened just this month. And some people feel better taking a full year off from dating. Only you can determine if the wound is too fresh. But if you can remember the breakup vividly enough that it\u2019s causing you pain, it\u2019s most likely a little too soon. There\u2019s no shame in taking more time to be with yourself or to be with people you love, but not in a romantic sense.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Are there any underlying reasons why I\u2019m trying to date right now?
\n<\/strong>There\u2019s this terrible societal idea that says that people should win at breakups. It\u2019s important to note that that\u2019s completely wrong. Everyone is hurt by breakups, but they\u2019re a necessary evil that helps us grow and find the right people we want to be with. It helps us find people who make us happy. But that happiness is not often found a day after a breakup. Just because your ex has started dating someone else doesn\u2019t mean you have to too. We all move at different paces and it\u2019s not wrong to take more time away from the dating scene, even if your ex isn\u2019t. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, there\u2019s another awful myth that says we need to get under someone to get over someone else. This is also not true and is detrimental to the person you\u2019re getting under. It\u2019s also detrimental to you, as sex can be an emotional act. When you\u2019re already feeling emotional, piling on more emotion can lead to you needing to take even longer to heal and may lead to some regrets.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. <\/strong>Am I excited about the prospect of dating?<\/strong>
\n<\/span>Maybe you\u2019ve been playing around on apps and even found someone you\u2019re thinking about meeting up with. How does the thought of meeting that person make you feel? Are you excited? That\u2019s a positive sign! Are you nervous? That\u2019s pretty normal for a first date. Are you a little sad? That\u2019s not a great sign. If you\u2019re thinking about your ex or comparing this new person to your ex even before you meet, that relationship is not off to a great start. It might be time to rethink if you\u2019re ready to date. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. <\/strong>Am I ready to let someone new in?<\/strong>
\n<\/span>We spend parts of our life with our partners that we just don\u2019t show other people. They see things that no one else gets to see. They get to be a part of something no one else gets to be a part of. That level of vulnerability is beautiful, but, when it comes to breakups, it can lead to a lot of pain and lead to us to put up some walls. Ask yourself if you\u2019re ready to work to break down those walls again. It\u2019s hard to let new people in, especially when those walls were just put up. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only you can really know if you\u2019re ready, so communicate with yourself and listen to yourself. If a part of you is saying you\u2019re not ready, remember that there\u2019s no rush. Dating or finding love is not a race. It\u2019s never about when you find your love. It\u2019s about the quality of the love you find. And if you\u2019re not ready to let someone in yet, you\u2019re not going to find a love that lasts. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dating or finding love is not a race. It\u2019s never about when you find your love. It\u2019s about the quality of the love you find. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":156,"featured_media":18977,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[998,973],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18976","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-break-up","category-moving-on"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDating After A Breakup: How to Know If You're Ready<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dating or finding love is not a race. It\u2019s never about when you find your love. It\u2019s about the quality of the love you find. And if you\u2019re not ready to let someone in yet, you\u2019re not going to find a love that lasts.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dating After A Breakup: How to Know If You're Ready\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dating or finding love is not a race. It\u2019s never about when you find your love. It\u2019s about the quality of the love you find. And if you\u2019re not ready to let someone in yet, you\u2019re not going to find a love that lasts.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-05-15T08:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-31T15:46:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/16100749\/dating-after-a-breakup.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jacqueline Gualtieri\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Jacqueline Gualtieri\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Dating After A Breakup: How to Know If You're Ready","description":"Dating or finding love is not a race. It\u2019s never about when you find your love. It\u2019s about the quality of the love you find. And if you\u2019re not ready to let someone in yet, you\u2019re not going to find a love that lasts.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Dating After A Breakup: How to Know If You're Ready","og_description":"Dating or finding love is not a race. It\u2019s never about when you find your love. It\u2019s about the quality of the love you find. And if you\u2019re not ready to let someone in yet, you\u2019re not going to find a love that lasts.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_published_time":"2019-05-15T08:00:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-05-31T15:46:43+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/16100749\/dating-after-a-breakup.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Jacqueline Gualtieri","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Zoosk","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Jacqueline Gualtieri","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/"},"author":{"name":"Jacqueline Gualtieri","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/9cee01cc1e4bf04a9cc365d20fddf0c9"},"headline":"Dating After A Breakup: How to Know If You’re Ready","datePublished":"2019-05-15T08:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T15:46:43+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/"},"wordCount":935,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/16100749\/dating-after-a-breakup.jpg","articleSection":["Breakups","Moving On"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/","name":"Dating After A Breakup: How to Know If You're Ready","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/16100749\/dating-after-a-breakup.jpg","datePublished":"2019-05-15T08:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T15:46:43+00:00","description":"Dating or finding love is not a race. It\u2019s never about when you find your love. It\u2019s about the quality of the love you find. And if you\u2019re not ready to let someone in yet, you\u2019re not going to find a love that lasts.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/16100749\/dating-after-a-breakup.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/16100749\/dating-after-a-breakup.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"A woman laughing and looking out the window who just started dating after a breakup."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/dating-after-a-breakup\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Breakups","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Dating After A Breakup: How to Know If You’re Ready"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/9cee01cc1e4bf04a9cc365d20fddf0c9","name":"Jacqueline Gualtieri","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/avatar_user_156_1529352737-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/avatar_user_156_1529352737-96x96.jpg","caption":"Jacqueline Gualtieri"},"description":"Jacqueline Gualtieri is a dating and relationships writer and blogger whose best friend once told her to quit her job and become a couple and sex therapist. Since she'd miss writing too much, she figured writing for Zoosk would be the next best thing! You can also find her work at EliteSingles and SilverSingles. Jacqueline has been working with Zoosk to create unique, engaging content for online daters, and couples, looking to form real, meaningful relationships.","sameAs":["in\/jacqueline-gualtieri-773258108\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/jacqueline-gualtieri\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18976","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/156"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18976"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18976\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18977"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18976"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18976"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18976"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}