When we say toxic, we\u2019re talking about something that is damaging, draining, and depleting for you. A toxic relationship can feel a lot like this, and the longer you stay in it, the higher the chances of your sense of self being severely damaged in the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You might think that only weak, insecure people end up in toxic relationships, but even strong and independent people can find themselves in the middle of an unhealthy, or even abusive relationship, without really knowing how they ended up there. A series of seemingly small, but unhealthy choices can lead us down a path we don\u2019t even know we\u2019re on until it\u2019s too late.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even if a relationship is based on love, trust, and mutual respect for one another; it changes and evolves over time, just as we do as people. What started out as cute and endearing can end up being the very thing you loathe about someone. Who you were when the relationship began might be worlds away from the person you are today. And sometimes, people simply aren\u2019t who they pretend to be, or who you wish they were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s most alarming is it takes many of us an incredibly long time to actually realize we\u2019re in a toxic relationship. Here\u2019s some reasons why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because you\u2019ve been taught no one is perfect.<\/strong> So we go into a relationship accepting of this. We accept our partner\u2019s shortcomings. We forgive them for their mistakes. We know a relationship requires effort to work, so we stick around and try to fix it. We think everything\u2019s okay, then something breaks and things are harder. We stick around some more, and get to work fixing what’s broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But sometimes, a relationship becomes so broken, that it\u2019s beyond repair, and it\u2019s better to walk away. This isn\u2019t giving up, this is being honest enough to admit to yourself and each other that things aren\u2019t working, and you\u2019re holding each other back from real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because your partner knows how to break your heart, then get back into it.<\/strong> But then they also know exactly what to do and say to make you forgive them. Just when you think you\u2019ve made up your mind about calling it quits and walking away, they make you feel guilty, and have you questioning the decision you were so sure of yesterday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They keep on telling you they\u2019ll change. That things will be better. That one more chance is all they need to go back to how things were at the start. But they never do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because things used to be great.<\/strong> The person you knew, or thought you knew, will disappeared. You’ll desperately want to believe that they\u2019ll come back, and that the flip is temporary, but it won’t be. The flip is who they really are. It’s their true colors shining through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because you\u2019re head over heels in love.<\/strong> You want to believe your love is enough to make it through this, and that it\u2019s worth fighting for. You naively think you\u2019ll look back at this as nothing more than a little bump in the road years from now. You don\u2019t want all of this time spent with this person to be for nothing. You don\u2019t want to admit to yourself that this is the wrong person for you, and you won\u2019t be happy until you leave them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because nobody understands your relationship like you do.<\/strong> They don\u2019t know how nice your partner can be when they aren\u2019t treating you like crap. They don\u2019t know your relationship. How could they? They\u2019re not living it the way you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But sometimes an outside perspective is what\u2019s needed to fully see the situation for what it is. Sometimes, we\u2019re too close to things to see clearly, and blinded by our feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because all couples fight, right?<\/strong> Using a fight to navigate a problem, and resolve it so you can move forward is healthy. But fighting to throw cheap shots, and use your partner like a punching bag for all your anger and frustration is toxic, and cruel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is not what real love looks like.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You might think that only weak, insecure people end up in toxic relationships, but even strong people can find themselves in one. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":19163,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[891,898],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice","category-relationship-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nEveryone is flawed. Everyone has their own imperfections. No one is perfect. That\u2019s what they teach us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWhen you\u2019ve been with someone for a certain period of time, they get to know you inside and out as a person. They know exactly where to hit you and create the biggest impact. They know how to make you hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nNo one ends up in a toxic relationship knowing they\u2019re going to be in one. It always happens after the honeymoon phase. After all the romantic dates, and mixtapes. After showering you with compliments, and telling you everything you\u2019ve ever wanted to hear. After they\u2019ve earned your trust and respect, and made their way into your heart. That’s when things flip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWhen you love someone, it makes it so much harder to make rational, healthy decisions; even though your intuition is screaming at you to make them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nEven though your friends and family voice their concerns about your relationship, and encourage you to end it, you won\u2019t listen to them because you want to believe you know better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nYes, all couples fight. But here\u2019s the difference: they fight with love. They fight with respect for each other. They fight with compassion, and with understanding.They don\u2019t fight dirty, with the intention of causing pain. And they definitely don\u2019t fight to win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n