Building a healthy, loving relationship takes time, but it’s easier if that relationship is built on a strong foundation. That’s why it\u2019s important to talk about certain things while you’re still in the dating stage of your relationship. This way, you know you\u2019re both on the same page, and want similar things, as you move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This can be a little intimidating, because you don\u2019t want to scare your date off by talking about heavy, serious topics like how many kids they want on date number one. But there\u2019s nothing wrong with being open and honest about what you\u2019re looking for, and doing it in a relaxed, no-pressure way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re thinking of becoming exclusive with someone, then you should feel like you can have conversations like this all the time; and it shouldn\u2019t feel uncomfortable. If it is, then you probably need to slow things down and build your communication up a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are a few things you need to talk about before becoming exclusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your expectations.<\/strong> What\u2019s wrong with laying your cards out on the table, and telling someone if you\u2019re looking for something serious, rather than just a casual fling? If it\u2019s important to you, then it\u2019s important, period. Even if you think they want the same things you do, you can\u2019t be sure until you\u2019ve spoken about it. So be sure to voice your needs and expectations, in a chilled way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What your plans are for the next year or so.<\/strong> This is why it\u2019s important to talk about what your future plans are for the next year or so. If one of you has plans to take a job abroad, or go backpacking around South America for three months, then the other person deserves to know, so they can decide if they still want to try and make the relationship work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Both people need to know what they\u2019re getting into from the get go. Honesty is the best policy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What your goals and dreams are.<\/strong> How much time and commitment you\u2019re willing to give.<\/strong> Depending on what the rest of your lives look like, the amount of time you can commit (at least at the start) will vary. One of you might have an intense and demanding job with flexible hours, or one that requires large amounts of travel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Figure out how much time you\u2019re both willing to commit, and whether you\u2019re both happy with that before taking things to the next level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The ghosts of girlfriends\/boyfriends past.<\/strong> We all have exes, and that\u2019s okay. Maybe you or your new person are still friendly with you exes, and that could be totally harmless. But if they still see each other a lot, and are constantly in contact, then this is another sign there may be unfinished business\u2014so hit the brakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If they\u2019ve ever cheated.<\/strong> It\u2019s not rude to ask questions about these things, and if someone is genuinely interested in you, they\u2019ll have no problem answering them honestly to reassure you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Family relationships.<\/strong> Sex.<\/strong> Being exclusive is a fun and exciting step in a relationship, but if you’re invested and want things to move forward in a good direction it’s great to know a few things first. And having open, honest communication from the start of your relationship will set you up to be successful in more ways than you can count.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Knowing how to communicate about important issues now, will set you up for a long and fulfilling relationship in the future.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":19088,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[891,893],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice","category-relationship-stages"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nSo many people avoid having this conversation early on because they don\u2019t want to appear too keen too soon. But isn\u2019t this a little childish when you think about it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWhen you become exclusive, that means you\u2019re both bringing each other into your lives in a more permanent way. They\u2019ll meet family, friends, colleagues, maybe even extended family too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIt\u2019s okay for you to both have different goals, but if they’re misaligned, or completely missing, that can seriously hinder the progress of your relationship. So be upfront about where you both see your lives going, and what your dreams are for the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nEveryone is different, and has different needs in a relationship. Some people are happy seeing each other once or twice a week to begin with, while others want to spend a significantly larger amount of time together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIf either of you had a relationship that ended in the last three months, then there\u2019s a chance this could be a rebound, so it\u2019s best to slow things down and postpone exclusivity talks. Anyone who\u2019s newly single is likely dealing with some emotional baggage, and potentially still mending a broken heart. There may also be an ex who\u2019s also still hurting, or hoping they\u2019ll get back together. You just don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on in someone\u2019s head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nFinding out how someone behaved in previous relationships is a good way to figure out the kind of partner they’ll be to you. Having said that, people do and can change as they grow older and wiser; but if they\u2019ve consistently cheated on past partners or been abusive, it\u2019s likely they\u2019ll repeat the same patterns again with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIf someone has a really toxic or strained relationship with their immediate family, you need to know about it, so be sure to ask about their family. Because whatever is making them unhappy and causing them stress, will eventually make its way to you, the deeper you get into the relationship. The best way to think about it is, Would I be happy with my partner\u2019s family becoming my family one day? <\/em>Because that\u2019s a possibility, and there\u2019ll be no escaping the drama by that point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIt\u2019s important to talk about sex because you might be on different pages when it comes to getting physical. There are certain people who still want to wait until they get married before having sex, while others will struggle to wait more than a month to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n