Relationships aren\u2019t the easiest of things to navigate. Not for anyone. That said, some people find them more challenging than others. The thought of entering a new relationship can fill certain people with a whole world of anxiety and fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Commitment phobia\u2014fear of commitment\u2014is a real thing, and it affects more people than you might think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These people have a hard time staying in a relationship long term, despite wanting to develop a long-term connection with someone. The intensity of their fears and anxiety grow the longer they\u2019re in a relationship, and can become too overwhelming to cope with. Eventually, this will cause them to duck out of a relationship even if they genuinely care about someone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s easy to feel hurt when you\u2019re on the receiving end of this behavior, and judge someone for entering a relationship if they knew they weren\u2019t going to be that serious or committed to it. But once you explore the root causes of this behavior, you\u2019ll realize that it\u2019s the result of past experiences that have left them wounded, jaded, and fearful of letting someone in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And we can all relate to that to some extent, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are some common causes of fear of commitment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Experiencing poor romantic relationships (first-hand or observing their parents while growing up)
\n– Fear of it not being the \u201cright\u201d relationship
\n– Fear of being abandoned, cheated on, or abused (or experience of this)
\n– Fear of trusting again after being hurt in the past
\n– Childhood abuse or trauma
\n– Experiencing complex family dynamics, or not having their needs met in childhood<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These experiences can lead some people to choose a life without serious relationships or commitments, and to deal solely in hook-ups and flings. This can be satisfying for a while, but eventually we all reach the point where hook-ups lose their appeal and become increasingly unfulfilling until we crave something much deeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s how your fear of commitment might show up in your dating life today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)<\/strong> If you have a fear of missing out on someone or something better, then you\u2019ll spend your entire life pursuing the next best thing, instead of putting the work into something that can truly make you happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What are you waiting for to come along? Is the grass always greener on the other side, or is it greener where you water it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Unrealistic expectations.<\/strong> Be mindful that romantic comedies aren\u2019t real; and real life is the seriously unedited version. Check yourself when it comes to what you\u2019re expecting in a relationship, and remember that there is no perfect person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Fear of being vulnerable and getting hurt. This is normal. Just try your best to give new people you meet a chance, and remember you don\u2019t know them, and they don\u2019t deserve to be tarnished with someone else\u2019s brush.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. You\u2019re too busy.<\/strong> Now ask yourself, what\u2019s the real reason you’re avoiding committing to someone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. You think you\u2019re too young.<\/strong> If you feel strongly about someone, and you can see a real future with them, don\u2019t avoid commitment because you think you\u2019re too young, or part of you just doesn\u2019t feel ready.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might think you have plenty of time, but it\u2019s not infinite, and it won\u2019t wait around for you. So don\u2019t wait for it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The causes of commitment fears and how they can manifest themselves in your relationships. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":19011,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[891],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nThe rise of dating apps means we have more options as single people than we\u2019ve ever had before. But the paradox of choice is that we now find it increasingly difficult to make a decision, like kids in a candy store being distracted everywhere we turn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nSome people spend their time thinking about what they don\u2019t have, while others create insanely long checklists outlining the exact person we\u2019re searching for. Then we sit and wonder and moan about how we can\u2019t find anyone great.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/strong>It\u2019s likely we\u2019ve all experienced rejection and pain at the hands of people we\u2019ve dated in the past. Depending on how bad the experience was, some people can be left with wounds they\u2019re still trying to heal, and therefore deep reservations about entering into a new relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nLIE. No one is too busy. If it\u2019s important to you, you\u2019ll make time for it. There\u2019s probably a ton of things in your life sapping your time that you don\u2019t even enjoy. Re-prioritize. Get rid of things that deplete you, or make you miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWe all meet people at different times in our lives. Sometimes we tell ourselves a relationship didn\u2019t work out because it was bad timing, but I don\u2019t believe this is actually a thing. Either two people want to be together, or they don\u2019t. Screw timing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n