{"id":19018,"date":"2019-05-19T01:00:35","date_gmt":"2019-05-19T08:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19018"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:46:13","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:46:13","slug":"love-yourself-first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/love-yourself-first\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Things That Happen When You Love Yourself First"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It took me more than a decade of doing the tough inner work, and really learning to unapologetically love myself, inside and out. It <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">wasn\u2019t<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> easy, and it\u2019s much easier to throw money at our problems, or run away from them altogether; which many of us do by seeking comfort in a relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The problem with this is we end up placing all our happiness outside of ourselves, and on someone else, who doesn\u2019t hold the power to make us feel the way we want to. Only we can do that. So until we do learn to love ourselves, no relationship will truly bring us joy. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Loving yourself is a lifelong journey, because we never step learning. But it\u2019s worth it. And it\u2019s a journey you can choose to embark on today. All you have to do is commit to it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some of the things that happen when you begin to love yourself first.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You stop caring about what other people think.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you fully love every part of yourself, including your flaws and all your mistakes; you will find peace. You\u2019ll realize you\u2019re an amazing human, and those parts of yourself that the world tells you are flaws, are actually the very things that make you utterly unique and beautiful.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you have this realization, it doesn\u2019t matter if someone doesn\u2019t like you, or judges you. Their opinion will no longer matter to you, because you know your truth. This will make navigating the world of dating and relationships a hell of a lot easier. &nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All that will matter to you is your opinion of yourself, and whether you\u2019re proud of the person you\u2019re showing up as in the world each day.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You will start to feel more in control of your life.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cDaring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.\u201d\u200a\u2014\u200aBren\u00e9 Brown<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you make the choice to love yourself first, you\u2019ll see that you always have a choice.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s easy to get swept up in the madness of life, and make poor decisions out of fear, guilt, or shame, which aren\u2019t really aligned with who you are or what you want. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But when you come from a place of love, you\u2019ll see that there are always empowering choices you can make instead, which feel good and authentic to you. And while these choices may not please others, that isn\u2019t your goal anymore. Your needs and happiness are important, and you shouldn\u2019t feel guilty about prioritizing them.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You become comfortable and confident in your own skin.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is imperative before we begin dating others. When we\u2019re confident and comfortable in who we are, we feel on top of the world, and others can see this in the energy we radiate, and that draws people towards us who are vibing on the same level. So, if you\u2019re looking for a partner who\u2019s comfortable and confident, you need to embody that first, so you can attract it. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br>\n<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dig deep and figure out what\u2019s currently making you feel uncomfortable or unconfident\u2014usually the root of this can be found somewhere in our childhood or adolescence. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you\u2019ve discovered it, and confronted it, it can no longer hold power over you. And this is how you move on, and reclaim your power.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You will enjoy time with yourself.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A lot of people bounce from one relationship to the next, with little to no break in between, simply because they&#8217;re afraid of or dislike being on their own. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is seriously unhealthy, and it\u2019s important to figure out why you don\u2019t enjoy solo time. Because you\u2019re awesome.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you love yourself, you\u2019ll take time to do more things that bring a smile to your face\u2014all the things you love. Chasing after other people\u2019s affection and attention will no longer be your goal. You\u2019ll be busy reconnecting with yourself, figuring out who you really are, and having an epic time!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You aren\u2019t afraid to ask for what you want.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking the time to love yourself first, helps you to become a little more selfish with your needs and wants, and for most people, this is a great thing.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It requires a certain level of selfishness to go after your dreams unapologetically, and pursue whatever it is that your soul is calling you to. It requires a certain level of selfishness to know what you want and deserve, and ask for it without feeling guilty. When you love yourself first, this won\u2019t make you uncomfortable, because you\u2019ll know what you\u2019re worthy of it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019ll stop wasting time with people who are messing around with you, or not worthy of your time, and begin making far more empowered choices when it comes to relationships. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You\u2019re able to love other people better.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking the time to love yourself first is so important, because this is the only way you discover what it truly means to love. And when you know this, you\u2019ll be able to love other people much better.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019ll show up in relationships much more confident, and spend less time worrying about what others are thinking of you, and more time focusing on them and how you can give abundantly to them. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And when you tell someone, \u201cI love you,\u201d you\u2019ll actually know what you\u2019re saying.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>You feel whole on your own.<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019ll awaken to the epiphany that contrary to what every song, movie, and fairytale teaches you, you are not incomplete on your own. We are all capable of being whole people on our own. The voids we feel within ourselves can only be filled by us, our love, and not by somebody else.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So instead of desperately searching for someone out there to complete you, you\u2019ll feel safe and assured in the knowledge that you\u2019ll meet someone when you\u2019re meant to. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Loving yourself is a lifelong journey, because we never step learning. But it\u2019s worth it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":19019,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[987,997,891],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love","category-love-advice","category-relationship-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>7 Things That Happen When You Love Yourself First<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Loving yourself is a lifelong journey, because we never step learning. But it\u2019s worth it. And it\u2019s a journey you can choose to embark on today. 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