{"id":19032,"date":"2019-06-07T01:00:57","date_gmt":"2019-06-07T08:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19032"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:43:39","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:43:39","slug":"jealous-boyfriend-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/","title":{"rendered":"Jealous Boyfriend: What’s Normal vs. What’s Unhealthy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If Disney gave us unrealistic expectations for finding true love, Hollywood gave us unrealistic expectations for what a healthy relationship looks like.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, tons of movies and TV shows portray boyfriends acting in obsessive, controlling, or borderline stalker-ish ways as a sign that they really care about their female partner (or crush).<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Growing up with these influences can make it easy for women to confuse warning signs as simply a signal that their boyfriend truly loves them\u2014and unfortunately, this can be dangerous.  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re wondering if your boyfriend\u2019s jealous behavior is normal vs. something to be concerned about, here are some guidelines. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Normal:<\/b> Wanting to hear about your day. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not Normal: <\/b>Asking a slew of questions about your day that seem more about gathering information than interest in your life. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a fine line between a guy who wants to hear about your day, and a guy who sounds like he\u2019s interrogating you. A nice, \u201cwhat did you get up to today?\u201d can be great. On the other hand, when you go out one night and have to deal with your boyfriend asking who was there, how drunk you got, and if you did any dancing, it feels a bit off. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A good rule of thumb is that if it feels wrong, it probably is. Another way to gauge it is: does it feel like he keeps asking unnecessary follow-up questions that are fact-based? If he\u2019s asking something subjective (eg: \u201cdid you have a good time?\u201d) it\u2019s normal, whereas something objective (eg: \u201cwhat did you wear?\u201d) is a sign of unhealthy jealousy. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Normal: <\/b>Making a teasing comment about that sexy selfie you posted on Instagram <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not Normal: <\/b>Telling you that he doesn\u2019t approve of you posting such revealing photos on social media. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As much as I wish it wasn\u2019t, it\u2019s pretty normal for guys to get jealous when their girlfriend posts something sexy on the \u2018gram. Unfortunately, this is because of the way society treats men to see their female partners, so it\u2019s not totally your man\u2019s fault.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A teasing comment, like, \u201cdamn you must have been feeling yourself today,\u201d is somewhat normal (although still not ideal). <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, when your boyfriend tries to control or have a say in what you post on your social media, that\u2019s when it starts charting into extremely unhealthy territory. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he communicates openly about his jealousy when you post certain things, talk to him about where the root of that jealousy comes from instead of simply acquiescing to his wishes. Chances are, once he tries to articulate the reason for his jealousy, both of you will realize that he has some things to work through on his own and that it\u2019s not really about you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Normal: <\/b>Wanting to meet your friends.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not Normal: <\/b>Always finding a reason to tag along when you have plans with friends\u2014and seemingly never giving you time alone with your friends.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A tell-tale sign of a possessive partner is one that doesn\u2019t allow his partner to have alone time with her friends (or even with her family). <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the beginning of a relationship, it can seem like a great sign that your new boo wants to meet your friends and family. But if you notice that you seemingly haven\u2019t had any alone time with your BFF since dating your new boyfriend, it might be a sign that he\u2019s trying to isolate you from your support system. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Same goes for a boyfriend that wants to spend every waking moment with you\u2014it may seem Romeo & Juliet-like, but it\u2019s actually a waving red flag that he\u2019s a controlling partner. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Normal: <\/b>Asking you about your ex.  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not Normal: <\/b>Asking you to block or unfriend your ex\u2014or any other male friends, coworkers, etc. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it was up to me, we\u2019d all talk about our exes on the first date (and usually, I do). Someone\u2019s relationship with their ex and they way they talk about it can be a great way to learn what kind of partner they are.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just like a guy saying, \u201call my exes are crazy\u201d is a red flag, so is any guy who asks you to block all communication with your ex. Even more so, any guy who wants you to stop communicating with your male friends, coworkers, or other guys in your life. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A healthy partner will support your friendships\u2014even if they\u2019re with ex boyfriends. A healthy partner will also trust you to communicate with members of the opposite sex without assuming the worst. After all, if he doesn\u2019t trust you, why is he dating you? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Normal: <\/b>Asking you who keeps blowing you up on Snapchat. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not Normal: <\/b>Asking if he can look through your Snapchat messages. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, while it seems like many of us have had a partner look through our phones, this is still certainly not healthy behavior. Jealousy is natural, and so is the curiosity that arises when our partner\u2019s phone keeps vibrating in the late hours of the evening. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While asking who keeps blowing you up on Snapchat is still certainly the ugly green monster rearing its head, it\u2019s a natural and normal form of jealousy that your partner can learn to improve. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asking to look through your phone\u2014or worse, going through it while you\u2019re in the shower\u2014is an invasion of privacy and a sign that your partner is not ready to be in a relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve noticed that you\u2019ve been putting up with an unhealthily jealous or controlling partner, don\u2019t beat yourself up\u2014it\u2019s not your fault.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The way our culture portrays \u201cromantic love\u201d on the silver screen can be seriously problematic and confusing. Sometimes we like someone so much that we want to believe that the things they\u2019re doing come from a good place, even when deep down we know it doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there\u2019s no time like the present to stand your ground and\/or remove yourself from an unhealthy relationship. Even if you feel like you’ve been isolated from your friends and family, they\u2019ll be willing to step in and help you when you need it\u2014all you have to do is say the word.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We all get a little jealous sometimes. But what takes it too far? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":183,"featured_media":19059,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[886,891,898],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-women","category-relationship-advice","category-relationship-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nJealous Boyfriend: What's Normal vs. What's Unhealthy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you\u2019re wondering if your boyfriend\u2019s jealous behavior is normal vs. something to be concerned about, here are some guidelines.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jealous Boyfriend: What's Normal vs. What's Unhealthy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you\u2019re wondering if your boyfriend\u2019s jealous behavior is normal vs. something to be concerned about, here are some guidelines.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-06-07T08:00:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-31T15:43:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/03134307\/jealous-boyfriend.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ashley Uzer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Ashley Uzer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Jealous Boyfriend: What's Normal vs. What's Unhealthy","description":"If you\u2019re wondering if your boyfriend\u2019s jealous behavior is normal vs. something to be concerned about, here are some guidelines.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Jealous Boyfriend: What's Normal vs. What's Unhealthy","og_description":"If you\u2019re wondering if your boyfriend\u2019s jealous behavior is normal vs. something to be concerned about, here are some guidelines.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_published_time":"2019-06-07T08:00:57+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-05-31T15:43:39+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/03134307\/jealous-boyfriend.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Ashley Uzer","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Zoosk","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Ashley Uzer","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/"},"author":{"name":"Ashley Uzer","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/28f802e98898a4c079c99a43710c6294"},"headline":"Jealous Boyfriend: What’s Normal vs. What’s Unhealthy","datePublished":"2019-06-07T08:00:57+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T15:43:39+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/"},"wordCount":1063,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/03134307\/jealous-boyfriend.jpg","articleSection":["Dating Advice For Women","Relationship Advice","Relationship Problems"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/","name":"Jealous Boyfriend: What's Normal vs. What's Unhealthy","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/03134307\/jealous-boyfriend.jpg","datePublished":"2019-06-07T08:00:57+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T15:43:39+00:00","description":"If you\u2019re wondering if your boyfriend\u2019s jealous behavior is normal vs. something to be concerned about, here are some guidelines.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/03134307\/jealous-boyfriend.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/05\/03134307\/jealous-boyfriend.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"A man who is a jealous boyfriend hugging his girlfriend tight as they laugh together."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/jealous-boyfriend-normal\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Relationships","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Relationship Problems","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"Jealous Boyfriend: What’s Normal vs. What’s Unhealthy"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/28f802e98898a4c079c99a43710c6294","name":"Ashley Uzer","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/avatar_user_183_1549390993-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/avatar_user_183_1549390993-96x96.jpg","caption":"Ashley Uzer"},"description":"Ashley Uzer is a freelance writer who specializes in sex and dating. She has written for many international outlets including Bustle, VICE, & Galore. She's currently doing the whole digital nomad thing, but you can find her in Washington D.C. or NYC every once in a while. Ashley has been working with Zoosk to create unique, insightful content around all aspects of love and relationships.","sameAs":["https:\/\/loxandleather.com\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/loxandleather\/?hl=en"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/ashley-uzer\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/183"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19032\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19059"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}