Meeting your partner\u2019s parents for the first time is always anxiety-inducing. You may spend a lot of time wondering whether they like you, only to realize later that you don\u2019t necessarily like them. Maybe they\u2019re too different from you, or so similar that you find yourself desiring to be competitive with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can choose your significant other, but you can\u2019t choose the people who birthed or raised them. Sometimes you luck out and win the significant other parents lottery; other times, you seriously consider pretending you have the flu every time they come into town.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are some questions you might be asking yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is not liking your significant other\u2019s parents a deal breaker?<\/strong> Obviously you need to be polite and respectful regardless of how you feel. You need to show up to family events with your partner to be supportive, you just may need to find a member of the family that you can talk to so you\u2019re not just glued to your partner\u2019s side at these events.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you feel like your partner is choosing their family over you, you will need to check in with how you\u2019re feeling to make sure you feel supported. If your partner has their own issues with their family, you can also communicate about those and navigate those as a team, which could bring you closer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How do you tell your partner you can\u2019t stand their family?<\/strong> Think about and share the specific behaviors or relevant situations that upset you. Focus on why you don\u2019t want to spend much time with their family since that\u2019s something your partner can help you navigate. The important thing is communicating and making sure that your feelings are being acknowledged. Your partner may not see what you\u2019re seeing, and that\u2019s okay, but they have to validate that your experience is your experience and help you move through it during family situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What role will their family play in your relationship\u2019s future?<\/strong> While it\u2019s never fun to have to sit through a family gathering with people you don\u2019t like or who also openly don\u2019t like you, sometimes it\u2019s a part of what we do for our relationships. Communicating and setting and maintaining boundaries are important. Beyond that, be the kindest, most polite version of yourself. Try to focus on the positive, even if it\u2019s listening to grandpa talk about woodworking because at least that means he\u2019s not ranting about politics. Your relationship with your special someone can be strengthened by navigating these sorts of difficulties, and if you see long-term potential with them, you want to make sure you\u2019re working through these as they come up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You can choose your significant other, but you can\u2019t choose the people who birthed or raised them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":177,"featured_media":19146,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[891],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nThe short answer is no. You don\u2019t need to like your partner\u2019s family to love and have a successful relationship with your partner. You are not required to like anyone, let alone your partner\u2019s parents, but this can be tricky if your partner loves and relies on their family a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nSaying your partner\u2019s family is terrible or that you hate them all will likely put your partner on the defensive and they won’t understand where you\u2019re coming from. Instead you should focus on communicating that you struggle with connecting with their family or that you feel uncomfortable when certain topics come up, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIt’s crucial to the success of your relationship that you have an open and honest dialogue about how you feel about their family and how your partner feels as well. You may need to have boundaries that your partner needs to help with. These could look like only spending a couple of hours over at their mother\u2019s instead of staying overnight or helping with a topic change when grandpa mentions politics. The important thing is this is a situation you both need to work on navigating, and open communication is essential for being able to do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n