Walking up to an attractive stranger and opening with a, \u201cHi, how\u2019s it going?\u201d is pretty bold. It shows that you have the kind of confidence to go after what you want. But when you\u2019re online dating, using those same four words as an opener is boring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Depending on the person you messaged, your message may end up getting lost in a sea of unread messages that sound just the same. If you want to find success online, you need to go the extra length to stand out. The first message you send can help you do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIn a world where options are virtually unlimited, you need to take the time to filter out those who are clearly not good fits and craft individualized messages to those you’re interested in,\u201d Darcie Czajkowski, associate marriage and family therapist, tells The Date Mix.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Singles who are serious about finding a meaningful connection, will see messages like \u201cHow was your day?\u201d as generic and low effort. If someone took the time to write out a thoughtful profile and pick out photos that showcase their life, there\u2019s nothing wrong with expecting more than just a \u201cHey!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So here are some online dating first message tips you should try in order to stand out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Make a thoughtful compliment.<\/strong> Be playful and flirty.<\/strong> \u201cYou want to be sarcastic but not mean-spirited or biting, complimentary but not shallow or gushing, charged but not lewd or harassing,\u201d Tom Ella, dating expert and host of The Undesirables dating podcast, tells The Date Mix. \u201cFind your balance. Make it a goal with a few matches to try actively to keep things flirty and fun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s going to take some practice, but once you\u2019ll nail it, making a good first impression online will come super easy for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Act as if you already know the person you\u2019re messaging.<\/strong> \u201cMaybe it\u2019ll work, maybe it won\u2019t,\u201d Ella says. \u201cBut this needs to be fun for you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n If it does work, you\u2019ve found a great match in someone who shares the same sense of humor as you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t stress too much.<\/strong> \u201cYou’re not there to impress someone; you’re there to start a chat and see if you click,\u201d he says. \u201cSending something is better than sending nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So don\u2019t stress. If you\u2019re thoughtful, genuine, and make an effort, you\u2019re going to be fine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You’re not there to impress someone; you’re there to see if you click<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":186,"featured_media":19144,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[889,980],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-online-dating-first-message","category-online-dating-tips"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\n\u201cDon\u2019t go for the low-hanging fruit,\u201d Christine Scott-Hudson, MFT, licensed psychotherapist and owner of Create Your Life Studio, says. For instance, if someone has incredible hair, compliment their eyes. If they have a good body, compliment them on their wit. \u201cDon\u2019t let your compliments be the easiest thing they hear 99 out of 100 times,\u201d she says. Get a little deeper and be above average.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWhen you\u2019re meeting someone online, your messages can easily get lost in translation. It\u2019s hard to accurately read someone\u2019s tone and personality when you haven\u2019t met them in person yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIf you want to stand out, don\u2019t be afraid to be a little weird. Make an odd joke or observation, or just jump right in to a story about your day as if you\u2019re already familiar with the person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nMaybe the person you want to talk to will be the love of your life, and maybe they won\u2019t. According to Ella, it\u2019s super easy to obsess over what to say to the point that you end up chickening out and send nothing at all. But don\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n