{"id":19179,"date":"2019-08-05T17:08:39","date_gmt":"2019-08-06T00:08:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19179"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:39:18","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:39:18","slug":"trauma-bonding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/trauma-bonding\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Trauma Bonding, Codependency, And Narcissistic Abuse"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Psychotherapy and life coaching often reveal deep truths about ourselves through examination of patterns in our behavior and relationships. Codependency is one of these commonly revealed destructive tendencies. A codependent may often recognize that their relationships may have similar patterns, but may be unable to break those problematic cycles. By working with a psychotherapist or a life coach who specializes in codependency and actionable change, anyone can fix these patterns and develop positive relationship habits for a sustainable, positive future.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>The Trauma Bond<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Trauma bonding is similar to Stockholm Syndrome\u2014it\u2019s a type of relationship survival strategy that occurs when a person is in a relationship with a<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> narcissist<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. The individual, often with codependency issues, feels loved and care in the early relationship stages, but after the initial this begins to erode over time, and the emotional, mental, and sometimes physical abuse takes over the relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The codependent may notice the change, but can\u2019t understand why it happened. They seek flaws in themselves that might be causing the turmoil in hopes of bringing back the love. If they do manage to break free, the narcissist only has to return to the courtship phase to win back the codependent.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The more the codependent reaches out to the narcissist for love, recognition, and approval, the stronger the trauma bond becomes. This can mean staying in the relationship even when abuse escalates, creating a destructive cycle.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Breaking Free<br>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is possible to break trauma bonds, but it isn\u2019t easy. Psychotherapy and life coaching can help you develop effective strategies for fixing your issues and give you a safe person to talk to.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &nbsp; &nbsp; <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Separation \u2014 Separating from the narcissistic abuser is key. This means physical and emotional separation, although the physical side of the separation is much easier.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &nbsp; &nbsp; <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Acknowledge your choice \u2014 Exploring the relationship through coaching or therapy to see the gaslighting, emotional abuse, criticism, control, and the addictive aspects of the relationship is hard work, but it also provides the opportunity to recognize, acknowledge, and affirm your positive choices to escape being held as an emotional prisoner in the relationship.<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &nbsp; &nbsp; <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Develop a support network \u2014 As you work to escape the relationship and free yourself from the trauma bond and abuse, the narcissist is working to bring you back under their control. It is important to develop a network of professionals, friends, and trusted family members who understand your goals and are present to support you in your journey forward.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In addition to this work, learning to identify narcissistic and abusive behavior patterns is a critical part of not just healing, but avoiding these type of relationships in your future.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She helps singles navigate the dating process to find the love of their lives.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn=9rZoFp-2B-2FACZgvhD0qLxkl6Ll3Fp-2FWGNnUH2X3h4DQw-2Fi3f1m8OyZV3bRoN5cu3Z084cZXUtAr-2F3E1CSBrHRBOQ-3D-3D_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm78ISLKTsm2D3WtN6XZkYKII2Wp39rFdAXeUx0jjpY9wkenzYbiy0APx86CMf5GdDhXT0PQ4-2FHscre0qDrX8f64ZWQwXwWUuvlvufXDuvpDgHaXA2cCxhXyGUT7VcNX7jQJ7UViQhK1t2Bqif2Z6Yg9oap8kR9IaJIBae-2F-2BgI42A-2Fe-2F3LUOY14dpaFNI8gQwU89Xa7zSC7vv70I4T-2FAh-2BIig-3D-3D\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" shape=\"rect\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn%3D9rZoFp-2B-2FACZgvhD0qLxkl6Ll3Fp-2FWGNnUH2X3h4DQw-2Fi3f1m8OyZV3bRoN5cu3Z084cZXUtAr-2F3E1CSBrHRBOQ-3D-3D_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm78ISLKTsm2D3WtN6XZkYKII2Wp39rFdAXeUx0jjpY9wkenzYbiy0APx86CMf5GdDhXT0PQ4-2FHscre0qDrX8f64ZWQwXwWUuvlvufXDuvpDgHaXA2cCxhXyGUT7VcNX7jQJ7UViQhK1t2Bqif2Z6Yg9oap8kR9IaJIBae-2F-2BgI42A-2Fe-2F3LUOY14dpaFNI8gQwU89Xa7zSC7vv70I4T-2FAh-2BIig-3D-3D&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1567623177574000&amp;usg=AFQjCNGD-VNtH6Elef-gt58QMnNtHerxag\">Take her quiz<\/a>&nbsp;to find out if you\u2019re a love addict, sign up for a&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn=9rZoFp-2B-2FACZgvhD0qLxklyLZfZoqMCJ9VyDnzwXNewTaql-2Fc-2BCV0m8YBE7KucwqyB8z1odZYzCd3FOaQ5RMPijrE9DCIGB2xd81B-2FJx3J7FZinK3ZMIK8TiApBCsfKeeu3hpAFzbsx3J9ovT-2BMLWmSPjEMhmS6TJfq5-2Ba-2BpSnHM-3D_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm7Mks-2FRhDDoGNUrcKCtHyuFnqUeViVJvkFK0gDyyQJpSmlxQG4GxY-2FtennrPjoVoTvmEZaToZHIclDlgKL-2FueJBO8L-2FFTUZ8UHf9IeupwVjUuovkoUUciO-2Fph7WwORthj92DMzbvJWpiJts2hPEwx5aJyvhLoQgCe5J4vIMxD-2BfKhW2zzyJgWJRqP-2F4EIKWBUK2Z3JEVPswaTd8QCGUH2ILw-3D-3D\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" shape=\"rect\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn%3D9rZoFp-2B-2FACZgvhD0qLxklyLZfZoqMCJ9VyDnzwXNewTaql-2Fc-2BCV0m8YBE7KucwqyB8z1odZYzCd3FOaQ5RMPijrE9DCIGB2xd81B-2FJx3J7FZinK3ZMIK8TiApBCsfKeeu3hpAFzbsx3J9ovT-2BMLWmSPjEMhmS6TJfq5-2Ba-2BpSnHM-3D_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm7Mks-2FRhDDoGNUrcKCtHyuFnqUeViVJvkFK0gDyyQJpSmlxQG4GxY-2FtennrPjoVoTvmEZaToZHIclDlgKL-2FueJBO8L-2FFTUZ8UHf9IeupwVjUuovkoUUciO-2Fph7WwORthj92DMzbvJWpiJts2hPEwx5aJyvhLoQgCe5J4vIMxD-2BfKhW2zzyJgWJRqP-2F4EIKWBUK2Z3JEVPswaTd8QCGUH2ILw-3D-3D&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1567623177574000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFJZMzj6Qh4RmwfN0mZ_RPLu8pwzA\">30-minute strategy session<\/a>, or learn more about how to get over a&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn=9rZoFp-2B-2FACZgvhD0qLxkl3YfODXDDcO1byTXplt4bNdiD5AB9BwZPh3r7LRUnh4smsLDPmB5XYwOTZ-2FD7yVtDw-3D-3D_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm7E3WB5kiK4RgR5Wxl3Xyoh4bhXxAMyC7SWsBTsVsb8AHNxLMhEtCdbbJdMm4TreTYlmPkQZdcJ7kXuN5vOMH-2BMbTHwAqOEGZc6nL2U19L6E9UITupk0llvyP9RgIALQrlx3plUsxzewWPq8dBvR-2BNKGq2tPTeg6AppdQc6QMRb8O71MekZngXCBfVZhO-2FBq3jyJgg80RgvHeMIlJZeSEiZA-3D-3D\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" shape=\"rect\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn%3D9rZoFp-2B-2FACZgvhD0qLxkl3YfODXDDcO1byTXplt4bNdiD5AB9BwZPh3r7LRUnh4smsLDPmB5XYwOTZ-2FD7yVtDw-3D-3D_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm7E3WB5kiK4RgR5Wxl3Xyoh4bhXxAMyC7SWsBTsVsb8AHNxLMhEtCdbbJdMm4TreTYlmPkQZdcJ7kXuN5vOMH-2BMbTHwAqOEGZc6nL2U19L6E9UITupk0llvyP9RgIALQrlx3plUsxzewWPq8dBvR-2BNKGq2tPTeg6AppdQc6QMRb8O71MekZngXCBfVZhO-2FBq3jyJgg80RgvHeMIlJZeSEiZA-3D-3D&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1567623177574000&amp;usg=AFQjCNEuqOTfBSJ4uHfD3lbMz5RZm-ddNg\">break up<\/a>.&nbsp;Sherry maintains a private practice in Westlake Village, and is a sought after online dating and relationship coach. For more information visit&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn=-2FIQcnM36UjadL4LdS3XoqzQOSQbpuMxSJL9zXjrYax-2F1HHR6iBjamIPN5yEXjazk_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm7LzgF2Rf3F93qM5p1FTuJR809ncgvarrNsjLOa2kPQt-2BXCjicMOPsAOLKecysbTVuKvGP-2FsfpGDxoenp8mTI5umEopOvOODbakQ5QJp60iC6fHLqjRk8Mde39kjaKFbOpWblnHNatgu22pXSkAst2qDrXEyXabFDXbVT6x-2FwiHTPGQQVU3J84VlEdB-2FOwTHA84FGP1ixfVFqCimo-2BuQ0UZA-3D-3D\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" shape=\"rect\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn%3D-2FIQcnM36UjadL4LdS3XoqzQOSQbpuMxSJL9zXjrYax-2F1HHR6iBjamIPN5yEXjazk_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm7LzgF2Rf3F93qM5p1FTuJR809ncgvarrNsjLOa2kPQt-2BXCjicMOPsAOLKecysbTVuKvGP-2FsfpGDxoenp8mTI5umEopOvOODbakQ5QJp60iC6fHLqjRk8Mde39kjaKFbOpWblnHNatgu22pXSkAst2qDrXEyXabFDXbVT6x-2FwiHTPGQQVU3J84VlEdB-2FOwTHA84FGP1ixfVFqCimo-2BuQ0UZA-3D-3D&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1567623177574000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFMSQM1jv9Owp2FETUb1IM_O8-pIQ\">www.sherrygaba.com<\/a>&nbsp;of sign up today for Sherry\u2019s online <a href=\"https:\/\/wakeuprecovery.com\/become-a-member-co\/\">group coaching program<\/a> for $19\/month.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Psychotherapy and life coaching often reveal deep truths about ourselves through examination of patterns in our behavior and relationships. Codependency is one of these commonly revealed destructive tendencies. A codependent may often recognize that their relationships may have similar patterns, but may be unable to break those problematic cycles. By working with a psychotherapist or [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":164,"featured_media":19180,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[898],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Stop Trauma Bonding, Codependency, And Narcissistic Abuse<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Trauma bonding is the link that keeps you codependent in an unhealthy relationship, but with a little help and careful strategizing you can break free.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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LCSW","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/avatar_user_164_1531524574-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/avatar_user_164_1531524574-96x96.jpg","caption":"Sherry Gaba LCSW"},"description":"Sherry Gaba is a Certified Transformation and Recovery Coach, helping singles to navigate the dating process and find the love of their lives. She's a sought-after online dating and relationship coach based in Westlake Village. Take her quiz to find out if you\u2019re struggling with co-dependency nor sign up for a 30-minute strategy session. Sherry has been working with Zoosk to create engaging, informative content around all aspects of dating, love, and relationships.","sameAs":["https:\/\/sherrygaba.com\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/sherry-gaba\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/164"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19179"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19179\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}