Apologies are a funny thing. Everyone likes to get them. When you need to give them, things get tricky. As soon as your ego gets involved, you\u2019re in trouble. And let\u2019s be honest, it always gets involved. Apologizing means admitting you\u2019re wrong, and no one likes to be wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apologies also force you to be vulnerable with your loved ones, and vulnerability is scary. It means you\u2019re emotionally undressing yourself. You\u2019re opening yourself up to danger (or so we think).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So when it comes to saying \u201csorry,\u201d you may offer up the white flag in the most non-committal, inauthentic way possible. If you\u2019ve ever said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, okay?\u201d you know what I\u2019m talking about. Then there are the \u201cI\u2019m sorry you feel that way\u201d non-apologies. It\u2019s tough to say which is worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apologies aren\u2019t easy to give but they are one of the most powerful tools for communication at your disposal in any relationship. Apologies allow both parties to feel heard and expressed. They also open up a dialogue for you and your partner to come to a deeper understanding of each other\u2019s feelings. If you get stuck on saying you\u2019re sorry, don\u2019t worry. You\u2019re not alone. These are my favorite tips to get myself to a sincere apology. Hopefully, they\u2019ll help you, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do It In Person<\/strong> Timing is Everything<\/strong> Dig Deep<\/strong> Be Vulnerable<\/strong> Listen Up<\/strong> Give It Time<\/strong> Have A Plan<\/strong> Apologies are difficult to give, but offering one shows strength of character, integrity, respect, a willingness to be vulnerable, and above all, love, which are all characteristics of a healthy relationship. While forgiveness is not guaranteed, if you can offer an apology from the heart, then you have a good chance of repairing your connection.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Apologizing is the easy part. Getting over your ego…not so much.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":19228,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[894],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healthy-relationships"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nThat means no apology texts or voicemails. A genuine apology opens up a dialogue between you and your partner, so that means there needs to be a back and forth. Doing it in person or at least over the phone is essential. (Video works too!) Clear communication is essential in an apology. Don\u2019t want to leave any room for misinterpretation, which can lead to more hurt feelings!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nApologize as soon as you know you hurt someone. The sooner you apologize the more sensitive your partner will know you are. Part of a relationship is learning your partner\u2019s sensitivities and being in tune with them even when they don\u2019t verbalize a specific need. A quick apology saves the buildup of contempt and shows off your thoughtfulness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nDon\u2019t apologize only because you know you were in the wrong. Try to empathize with the hurt your actions caused and express your understanding of this pain. Dig deep into the emotional impact of the actions you\u2019re apologizing for. You may uncover wounds and triggers in the process. You may realize that you need to own up for a long-standing negative pattern. Ask yourself why you did the thing you did and be prepared to own up to something deeper than you expected. Being thorough in your apology shows the necessary emotional understanding that will help your relationship heal. Begin with clarity. Clarity will bring authenticity to your apology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWhen you\u2019re apologizing to your loved one, remove your ego and speak from the heart. Remember\u2060\u2014it\u2019s not about you. It\u2019s about your partner. Don\u2019t make excuses. State why you did what you did. Open the conversation with, I\u2019m sorry, then speak your truth. Remind yourself that you love the person you\u2019re owning up to. Reminding yourself of your connection. You want to fix this wrong for the someone on the other end of it. The more better your partner understands your action the easier it\u2019ll be for them to forgive you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nMore than likely your partner wants to communicate their feelings to you. Let them. This isn\u2019t the time to justify your actions. Don\u2019t interrupt or judge. Just listen with an open heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIn a perfect world, our apologies would be accepted on the spot. But it doesn\u2019t always shake out that way. That\u2019s okay. Respect someone\u2019s time for space. Don\u2019t try to fix the situation so you can feel better. Let them be. In time, they\u2019ll come back ready to forgive. If they don\u2019t, then you know you did the best you could. You can force to fix someone\u2019s pain nor can you force someone to forgive you. Sometimes letting go is the best choice for both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nIf and when your partner forgives you, take time to craft a plan about where you go next. How will you choose to handle similar situations in the future? What can you do to improve communication? Actions speak louder than words, so put into actions what you will do to make amends and that you\u2019re committed to moving forward in a new way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n