{"id":19231,"date":"2019-09-16T10:00:02","date_gmt":"2019-09-16T17:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19231"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:37:29","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:37:29","slug":"tempted-to-ghost","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/tempted-to-ghost\/","title":{"rendered":"Tempted to Ghost? 5 Things to Say Instead"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Have you ever ghosted someone? It\u2019s okay. We all have (or at least thought about it). Modern dating culture is weird. The goal posts keep moving, and it\u2019s hard to learn what\u2019s right until you try for yourself. When you\u2019re not feeling someone, it\u2019s easy to unmatch or ignore a text instead of explaining why you\u2019re not interested. Some people tell themselves ghosting is kinder than the alternative of having a real conversation. In truth, it\u2019s usually just an easier way out for the ghoster. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth is\u2014and I think we all know this deep down\u2014ghosting is wrong. It just is. It disrespects the other person\u2019s time and feelings. You\u2019re not doing them mercy. There are no two ways abotu it. You don\u2019t want to receive the same treatment. It\u2019s Golden Rule 101. Whether you\u2019re been on one date or twelve, you need to tell someone you\u2019d like to stop seeing them.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s hard to do something knowing you\u2019ll likely hurt someone, but it\u2019s what right. While it won\u2019t be easy, these techniques can help you find the words.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep it short and to the point.<\/b>
\n<\/span>\u201cHey, I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate the time we\u2019ve spent together but I\u2019m not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you.\u201d This message is effective, because you get the point across quickly. It may feel curt, but that can sometimes be best.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s okay to be abrupt.<\/b>
\n<\/span>\u201cSorry, I just don\u2019t think this is going to work.\u201d This tells them all they need to know. Nothing more and nothing less. It\u2019s not padded with reassurances that they\u2019re great, it\u2019s not them, or any other cliches. There\u2019s no room for bargaining. If you want to be a little softer, try something like, \u201cI want to be honest and tell you that I don\u2019t feel the romantic chemistry here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make it about yourself.
\n<\/b>The \u201cit\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me\u201d can feel so clich\u00e9d at this point that it comes across as an easy out. But it\u2019s often the purest distillation of the truth. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I\u2019ve realized I\u2019m just not ready for this right now\u201d is a more eloquent way to say the same thing. You don\u2019t have to give too many details or justify your reasons. What\u2019s important is that you communicate the truth, effectively, instead of fading off into the ether of unanswered texts and blocked Instagrams. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if the relationship has been longer than just a few weeks?<\/b>
\n<\/span>The longer you\u2019ve been dating, the crueler a ghosting is. It\u2019s more intimidating, sure, but you have to do what\u2019s right. Time adds gravity, which makes it harder to say the words, but it\u2019s time for you to turn over a new breakup leaf.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve been seeing someone for a while, you need to take a little extra care in breaking things off. Try to keep to the point, but exercise a gentler touch. Try something like, \u201cI\u2019ve enjoyed the time we\u2019ve had together, but I don\u2019t think we have the connection I\u2019m looking for in something more serious.\u201d It\u2019s important to be considerate but honest. Obviously if you\u2019ve been with someone for more than a few weeks, there may need to be a conversation following the bomb you\u2019ve just dropped. You\u2019re strong, you can do this.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boundaries are okay.
\n<\/b>In fact, they\u2019re great. Half of why breaking up sucks is that we suck at setting healthy boundaries. You need to be kind to the person you\u2019re ending things with but you don\u2019t necessarily owe them a long, drawn-out explanation of your feelings. Use your best judgement and remember to try to treat them right. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you just don\u2019t have the emotional energy to launch a full-on explanation, feel free to break things off with something like \u201cI think it\u2019s best if we take some time off from seeing each other for a while.\u201d If you\u2019re willing to be friends later, that\u2019s great, but don\u2019t promise friendship as a consolation prize if you don\u2019t intend on making good on it. And if you feel the conversation has run its course, you can always say \u201cI\u2019m sorry, you\u2019re great, but I just can\u2019t continue talking about this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bottom line: ghosting is bad. It doesn\u2019t feel good, it hurts people, and it\u2019s immature. However, this is all said with an asterisk for abusive situations or other overtly aggressive people. Outside of that, though, don\u2019t ghost\u2014just copy and paste one of these phrases and hope for the best for them. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We’ve all thought about ghosting someone, although we know it’s wrong. These are our five favorite ways to break things off with someone respectfully.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":159,"featured_media":19232,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[998],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19231","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-break-up"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTempted to Ghost? 5 Things to Say Instead<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"No need to give a long-winded response. 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