{"id":19325,"date":"2019-09-30T10:00:11","date_gmt":"2019-09-30T17:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19325"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:36:28","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:36:28","slug":"true-definition-of-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Things Most People Get Wrong About the True Definition of Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cTrue love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.\u201d
\n<\/span><\/i>\u2014Francois de La Rochefoucauld<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We claim we\u2019re in love and throw around the words \u201cI love you,\u201d as if they\u2019re going out of style.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But how many of us know what it truly means to love someone?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is it love if we can\u2019t stop thinking about them? Or when they\u2019re the only person in our lives that make us happy? Or if we make our whole life about pleasing them?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we knew the true definition of love, how many of us would actually be able to say we\u2019ve been in love?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are 8 things most people get wrong when it comes to understanding what love is truly all about.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is not words, but actions
\n<\/b>Words are cheap, or so they say. I\u2019m a writer, so I don\u2019t like to believe it\u2019s true, but it certainly can be.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s easy to say things you know people want to hear, so that you can make them temporarily happy, then use them for what you want. Because you don\u2019t have to mean them, and it doesn\u2019t cost you a lot, except needing to talk BS.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you want to know how someone truly feels about you, pay close attention to their actions. The way someone acts will show you if they love you, or if it\u2019s simply talk. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is more than just a feeling
\n<\/b>You\u2019ve probably been angry at people you love in your life before. Maybe your parents, a best friend, or even your children, right?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, of course, you still loved them.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is love\u2014it transcends temporary feelings which come and go. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love isn\u2019t pain
\n<\/b>How many movies have you seen where people who are crushing on someone express feelings like:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All I can think about is her.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t eat or sleep.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I love him so much it hurts<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve come to equate love with pain, but it\u2019s not.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is not pain. There might be moments of sadness, hurt, or anger if you have a disagreement or a falling out, but pain should not be the norm. If it is, then chances are you\u2019re in a toxic relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love doesn\u2019t make you whole
\n<\/b>Our society teaches us that our other half is out there somewhere waiting for us to find them. This leaves us thinking that until we do find that special someone, we\u2019re incomplete.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This leads us to place all our happiness and expectations on the shoulders of someone else. Not only is this unfair on that person, but it also leaves us feeling like we\u2019re not in control of our own life.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is amazing, but it cannot make you whole\u2014you need to feel whole on your own.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is selfless, without completely sacrificing your own needs
\n<\/b>They say that love is all about being selfless – thinking about what you can<\/span> give<\/span><\/i> to someone, instead of thinking about what you can <\/span>get<\/span><\/i> from them.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And while this is true, it\u2019s also incredibly important that you don\u2019t sacrifice your own needs and desires. If you\u2019re in a healthy, loving relationship, where the other person is just as selfless as you, then you won\u2019t need to worry too much, because chances are you\u2019ll both be ensuring each other\u2019s cups are filled up.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, if you find yourself with a partner who tends to be quite selfish, your generosity and kindness may be taken advantage of, and this is when you might find your needs are totally ignored. This is not love.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is not sex
\n<\/b>You can have sex and not be in love, and you can be in love and not be having sex.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you try and put sex into a relationship too soon, it can drive love away, and potentially compromise the relationship. And sometimes when you remove sex from the equation, it allows real love to grow and flourish.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is respect, but not submission
\n<\/b>If you love someone, it doesn\u2019t mean you will always agree with them. Far from it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, it\u2019s healthy to have disagreements in any relationship<\/span>\u2014<\/span>as long as you disagree respectfully with one another.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If someone truly loves you, they will care enough about you and your relationship to speak up if they think you\u2019re wrong, or if they feel hurt by something.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re only human, which means we\u2019re all wrong at times in our lives.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love can only be found by love
\n<\/b>When our own hearts are full and swelling with love for ourselves, only then will we be able to attract the kind of love we\u2019re seeking out there.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve been convinced that love comes from outside of us, but it doesn\u2019t<\/span>\u2014<\/span>it comes from within.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And true love can only be found by love. Love goes where love already is. The more love you already feel, the easier it\u2019ll be to attract.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

True love is not the examples we see in popular movies and books.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":19326,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[987],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n8 Things Most People Get Wrong About the True Definition of Love<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"From a young age we're fed romanticized ideas about what true love is. These are the many ways true love is more simple and different from what we've learned.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"8 Things Most People Get Wrong About the True Definition of Love\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"From a young age we're fed romanticized ideas about what true love is. These are the many ways true love is more simple and different from what we've learned.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-09-30T17:00:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-31T15:36:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/10\/01052943\/true-definition-love.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Shani Jay\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Shani Jay\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"8 Things Most People Get Wrong About the True Definition of Love","description":"From a young age we're fed romanticized ideas about what true love is. These are the many ways true love is more simple and different from what we've learned.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"8 Things Most People Get Wrong About the True Definition of Love","og_description":"From a young age we're fed romanticized ideas about what true love is. These are the many ways true love is more simple and different from what we've learned.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_published_time":"2019-09-30T17:00:11+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-05-31T15:36:28+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/10\/01052943\/true-definition-love.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Shani Jay","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Zoosk","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Shani Jay","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/"},"author":{"name":"Shani Jay","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/84f8c32d40fc01dd6a77082438f0cb28"},"headline":"8 Things Most People Get Wrong About the True Definition of Love","datePublished":"2019-09-30T17:00:11+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T15:36:28+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/"},"wordCount":864,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/10\/01052943\/true-definition-love.jpg","articleSection":["Love"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/","name":"8 Things Most People Get Wrong About the True Definition of Love","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/10\/01052943\/true-definition-love.jpg","datePublished":"2019-09-30T17:00:11+00:00","dateModified":"2021-05-31T15:36:28+00:00","description":"From a young age we're fed romanticized ideas about what true love is. These are the many ways true love is more simple and different from what we've learned.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/10\/01052943\/true-definition-love.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/10\/01052943\/true-definition-love.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"Exploration of the true definition of love, delving into various interpretations and meanings of love on Zoosk."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/true-definition-of-love\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Love","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"8 Things Most People Get Wrong About the True Definition of Love"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/84f8c32d40fc01dd6a77082438f0cb28","name":"Shani Jay","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/avatar_user_141_1523037893-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/avatar_user_141_1523037893-96x96.jpg","caption":"Shani Jay"},"description":"Shani Jay is the Creatrix & Goddess In Chief of Revoloon. Ask her what she does for a living, and she\u2019ll tell you she holds a mirror to your soul, so you can see how beautiful you already are. Shani is a bestselling author and internationally published writer. Her articles have reached and touched millions, while her books have made their way into the hands and hearts of thousands of women worldwide. You can also find some of her work at SilverSingles and EliteSingles. Shani has been working with Zoosk, sharing her knowledge and creating engaging content for online daters looking to make real connections with like-minded singles.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.shanijay.com\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/shani-jay\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/141"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19325"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19325\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}