{"id":19386,"date":"2019-10-30T10:00:16","date_gmt":"2019-10-30T17:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19386"},"modified":"2021-10-26T01:18:05","modified_gmt":"2021-10-26T08:18:05","slug":"grief-or-obsession","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/","title":{"rendered":"Is It Grief Or Obsession: Understanding Your Reaction To The End Of A Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It\u2019s common to feel loss, when a relationship ends. This happens with long-term relationships and marriages but can also happen with short term relationships as well.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The effect of a breakup depends on many things: who did the breaking up, the state of the relationship beforehand, how good the communication was, etc.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how things shake out, usually both parties grieve. Most people have a support network of friends and family to help shoulder the burden, and if you do, it\u2019s important to use it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

People that don\u2019t have this support setup usually struggle more after a hard break. If you have codependency or love addiction issues, it\u2019ll be even worse. It\u2019s important to make sure you\u2019re grieving without healthy habits. What-ifs and should-haves won\u2019t get you anywhere. I\u2019ve broken down, some of the best grief habits to build, and what to look out for if you think you might be obsessing over love.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Healthy Responses
\n<\/b>A healthy response to the end of a relationship is to experience your sadness, sorrow, or regret, as it comes. This may last a few weeks or many months. Grief can manifest any number of ways, but most people go through some form of the five stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance).<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s okay to feel your emotions. It\u2019s even okay to be overwhelmed, but when you can try to carry on. Find time to do things you enjoy. See friends and family. And, when the time is right, give dating another shot.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unhealthy Obsessing
\n<\/b>If you feel grief and nostalgia taking over your entire life, that\u2019s when your feelings cross the line into obsession and codependency. It\u2019s common to be upset and even depressed following a breakup, but it\u2019s important to recognize when the breakup hinders your day-to-day functioning.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you find that you\u2019re spiraling into these negative patterns, try some of these strategies to get you out of your rut.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Journal Your Thoughts:<\/b> Write down all thoughts you have about the relationship. Acknowledge that your feelings are real, even if you don\u2019t want them to persist. Relive the feelings, make peace, then let them go.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Talk To Friends and Family:<\/b> Reach out to your friends and family. Ask them to listen. Talk is one of the best therapies. It\u2019s essential in the healing process and it always helps good to get feelings off your chest.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do Something You Enjoy:<\/b> Commit to doing at least one thing a day that for yourself. This will help you rebuild your sense of self. You are more than your relationship. You were before the breakup and you are now. Let yourself be it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Get Into a Routine:<\/b> Wake up. Go to work. Exercise regularly. See friends. Setting a consistent routine is a great way to build self esteem. Even on bad days, do your routine. It\u2019s okay to slip up, but whenever you can make sure you keep to it. You can do things on your own. This is proof.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

See a Therapist or Counselor: <\/b>Professional resources can provide you with more techniques to deal with your behavior or an unbiased outlet to talk when you don\u2019t have one. Everyone needs help sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breakups are never easy, and everyone handles them at their own pace. Don\u2019t shame yourself, but do try to do the things you need to move on. It may not seem like it now, but you will recover. It takes time and effort.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sherry<\/span> Gaba<\/span>, LCSW
\n<\/span><\/b>Psychotherapist and Life Coach
\n<\/span>Join the Wake up Recovery subscription based Recovery Tribe<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Editor of Recovery Today Magazine<\/span><\/div>\n\n\n\n
www.recoverytodaymagazine.com<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
818 756-3338<\/div>\n\n\n\n
Author of Amazon Bestsellers’  “Infinite Recovery”<\/a> and  “The Marriage and Relationship Junkie”<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
To get my free weekly newsletter sign up here<\/a>.<\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s a slippery slope from grief into obsession.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":164,"featured_media":19387,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[998],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19386","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-break-up"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGrief Or Obsession? Common Reactions After A Relationship<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's natural to be upset after the end of a long-term relationship, but don't let your grief slip into obsession. Here's what you can do to catch yourself.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Grief Or Obsession? Common Reactions After A Relationship\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It's natural to be upset after the end of a long-term relationship, but don't let your grief slip into obsession. Here's what you can do to catch yourself.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-10-30T17:00:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-10-26T08:18:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/11\/06065949\/grief-or-obsession.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sherry Gaba LCSW\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Sherry Gaba LCSW\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Grief Or Obsession? Common Reactions After A Relationship","description":"It's natural to be upset after the end of a long-term relationship, but don't let your grief slip into obsession. Here's what you can do to catch yourself.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Grief Or Obsession? Common Reactions After A Relationship","og_description":"It's natural to be upset after the end of a long-term relationship, but don't let your grief slip into obsession. Here's what you can do to catch yourself.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/","og_site_name":"The Date Mix","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","article_published_time":"2019-10-30T17:00:16+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-10-26T08:18:05+00:00","og_image":[{"width":800,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/11\/06065949\/grief-or-obsession.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Sherry Gaba LCSW","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Zoosk","twitter_site":"@Zoosk","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Sherry Gaba LCSW","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/"},"author":{"name":"Sherry Gaba LCSW","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/29655e1c20a4517fba018e12bdd9b140"},"headline":"Is It Grief Or Obsession: Understanding Your Reaction To The End Of A Relationship","datePublished":"2019-10-30T17:00:16+00:00","dateModified":"2021-10-26T08:18:05+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/"},"wordCount":655,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/11\/06065949\/grief-or-obsession.jpg","articleSection":["Breakups"],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/","name":"Grief Or Obsession? Common Reactions After A Relationship","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/11\/06065949\/grief-or-obsession.jpg","datePublished":"2019-10-30T17:00:16+00:00","dateModified":"2021-10-26T08:18:05+00:00","description":"It's natural to be upset after the end of a long-term relationship, but don't let your grief slip into obsession. Here's what you can do to catch yourself.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/11\/06065949\/grief-or-obsession.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/11\/06065949\/grief-or-obsession.jpg","width":800,"height":600,"caption":"Discussion on grief versus obsession, addressing emotional challenges in relationships on Zoosk."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/grief-or-obsession\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Breakups","item":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Is It Grief Or Obsession: Understanding Your Reaction To The End Of A Relationship"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","name":"The Date Mix","description":"Dating and Relationship Advice for Today's Daters","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#organization","name":"The Date Mix","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/TDM-logo.jpg","width":400,"height":400,"caption":"The Date Mix"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/","https:\/\/x.com\/Zoosk"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/29655e1c20a4517fba018e12bdd9b140","name":"Sherry Gaba LCSW","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/avatar_user_164_1531524574-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/avatar_user_164_1531524574-96x96.jpg","caption":"Sherry Gaba LCSW"},"description":"Sherry Gaba is a Certified Transformation and Recovery Coach, helping singles to navigate the dating process and find the love of their lives. She's a sought-after online dating and relationship coach based in Westlake Village. Take her quiz to find out if you\u2019re struggling with co-dependency nor sign up for a 30-minute strategy session. Sherry has been working with Zoosk to create engaging, informative content around all aspects of dating, love, and relationships.","sameAs":["https:\/\/sherrygaba.com\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/sherry-gaba\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19386","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/164"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19386"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19386\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19387"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19386"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19386"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19386"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}