{"id":19478,"date":"2019-12-08T10:19:50","date_gmt":"2019-12-08T18:19:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19478"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:25:14","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:25:14","slug":"how-to-break-up-with-a-girl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/how-to-break-up-with-a-girl\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Break Up with a Girl Respectfully"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Breaking up is hard to do. Today it\u2019s even harder when you now have the option to ghost, bench, or even haunt the lovers of times past. But ghosting isn\u2019t really a respectful move, and neither are the other two aforementioned ways to \u201csort of end things, but sort of keep it ambiguous in case I change my mind.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, there\u2019s no easy way to tell someone you\u2019re not interested\u2026or is there?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d argue that it\u2019s easier now with all the communication options available, and it\u2019s always the better option to be a nice guy about it! It may be tempting to keep things vague with that girl you went on a few dates with but just aren\u2019t head over heels for. After all, what if you end up bored and lonely on a Saturday night and want to hit her up? Or what if you need a +1 to your friends\u2019 upcoming wedding and you have no other options?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But by keeping people that aren\u2019t right for you around, you\u2019re keeping yourself from meeting someone who is. And you\u2019re also potentially wasting their time and leading them on, which is not the best thing to do. I mean, would you want someone to do that to you?.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how to break up with a girl respectfully based on where you\u2019re at in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Break Up with a Girl Respectfully: After a First Date<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I don\u2019t think it\u2019s considered \u201cghosting\u201d if you don\u2019t text someone after a first date. Of course, this can play into gender stereotypes, but after a standard first date, most girls will wait to hear from the guy as a sign that he wants to go out again. If you don\u2019t hit her up after saying, \u201cI had fun, what\u2019s your schedule looking like next week?\u201d she will most likely get the hint. If she\u2019s more assertive and texts you asking if you want to go out again, then you can just say no in the nicest and most generic way possible.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve decided you\u2019re not interested in her and you\u2019re already following her on Instagram or somehow otherwise entangled with her, untangle yourself before showing your disinterest through not contacting her. If you don\u2019t text her but are continuing to watch her Instagram story every day, it can send mixed signals. And this kind of weird-why do you want to watch the Instagram stories of someone who isn\u2019t going to be a part of your life?.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Break Up with a Girl Respectfully: After a Few Dates<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my opinion, this still isn\u2019t really a breakup. You\u2019re still getting to know each other and learning if it\u2019s a good fit. If you realize by date three that you don\u2019t see things going anywhere, I don\u2019t think you\u2019re evil if you decide to not text her again, and follow a similar approach to post-first date.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

 <\/span>But communication is also great, especially if the girl you\u2019re going out with thought things were going well and deleted her dating apps or was already imagining you two spending Christmas together (and yes, sometimes we do that\u2014girls and guys!).<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sending a text is easy and totally acceptable in a case like this. She might even prefer it, and it\u2019s always classy to communicate!  <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s an example of the type of text that you could use: <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey Sandra. I had a really good time with you last night and you\u2019re the hottest girl I\u2019ve met that can keep up with my wine consumption! But to be honest, I feel like I don\u2019t really see things going anywhere with us, it feels like we\u2019re both looking for different things. I wish you the best and you can definitely hit me up anytime you need tips on where to eat on the Upper East Side!<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously, this version is quite long, and you can definitely keep it short and to the point if you\u2019re more comfortable with that.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Break Up with a Girl Respectfully: After a Few Months<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is where things get more complicated. At this point you might be sleeping together, it\u2019s possible you\u2019ve met each other\u2019s friends or have intertwined your lives a bit more. You probably connected on social media and have built a bond between the two of you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this case, I think it\u2019d be more respectful to handle the breakup via a phone call versus a text. That way, it can be more of a conversation and is more personal. Of course, in person is always the most respectful option if you have spent time together. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re planning on doing it over the phone, make sure she\u2019s available and it\u2019s a good time for her to talk. In advance, ask her when is a good time for you guys to talk on the phone that week (but not too advance, because that\u2019ll give her anxiety all week leading up to the call). That way, she\u2019ll be prepared for a serious conversation and you won\u2019t upset her while she\u2019s in the middle of the bread aisle at Trader Joe\u2019s.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again, as mentioned earlier, make sure to step out of her life as much as you can to make things clean and simple. Unfriend her on social media if you\u2019re worried that you might drunkenly respond to her photos, don\u2019t try to hang out with her friends, avoid her favorite ramen spot on her block (and definitely don\u2019t take new dates there!).<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Break Up with a Girl Respectfully: After It\u2019s Gotten Pretty Serious<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Defining when it gets serious can be subjective, but you know when things have moved from casual to significant. Maybe you\u2019ve \u201cdefined the relationship\u201d and she\u2019s calling you her boyfriend. Maybe you haven\u2019t gotten there, but you\u2019re still sleeping at each other\u2019s apartments a few nights a week and have made plans to take a trip together in a month. Whatever it is, there comes a certain point where the breakup has to be a two-way conversation, because two people are fully involved. Even if you have one foot out the door, she doesn\u2019t necessarily know that.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All the previous tips still apply: plan to have the conversation ahead of time so she\u2019s somewhat prepared, extract yourself from her life, don\u2019t send mixed signals, don\u2019t hit on her friends, don\u2019t drunkenly call her next weekend inviting her over.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When it comes to breaking up, the most respectful thing you can do is be honest and go all in. It might seem \u201cnicer\u201d to break it to her gently and slowly fade out, or act like you\u2019re just really busy with work and that you\u2019ll reconnect with her later, but this just keeps her wasting time and energy on you when she could be out there meeting Mr. Right or simply focusing on herself and moving on. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The longer you stay in her life, the more likely her feelings (and yours) are going to grow deeper. And, while it can be tempting to keep someone around in case you \u201cchange your mind\u201d or find yourself lonely, the respectful and mature thing to do would be to admit to yourself you don\u2019t see a future with this woman and give her the space to find someone that does.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When wondering how to break up with a girl, remember communication is key! And while there are certain things you may want to omit (like the fact that you\u2019ve decided you\u2019re actually in love with her roommate), honesty is the best policy. Besides, when someone is pulling away, women have a great gut instinct. So be honest and respectful and don\u2019t stay in a relationship that you’re no longer invested in.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here’s how to break up with a girl respectfully, whatever relationship stage you’re at! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":183,"featured_media":19479,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[983,998],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breaking-up","category-break-up"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Break Up with a Girl Respectfully<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Breaking up is hard to do. Today it can be tempting just to ghost but that isn't a cool choice. 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