{"id":19500,"date":"2020-01-02T10:18:35","date_gmt":"2020-01-02T18:18:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19500"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:23:51","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:23:51","slug":"i-love-you-but-im-not-in-love-with-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/i-love-you-but-im-not-in-love-with-you\/","title":{"rendered":"I Love You, But I&#8217;m Not In Love With You: How to Respond"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are no sweeter words in the English language than \u201cI love you.\u201d And there are no more crushing words in the English language than \u201cI love you, but\u2026\u201d Unfortunately, it\u2019s common for couples to fall out of love; you can love and care about someone while simultaneously not being <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> love with them. Unfortunately two people can also care about each other but have different views about how they define that love.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The more dating and relationship experience you gain, the more you realize that there are many different types of love. There\u2019s not just passionate, romantic movie love; there\u2019s also unconditional love, obsessive love, and platonic love. And sometimes-due to any number of circumstances like time, distance, and major life events-even the most solid romantic relationships can lose their spark and go from passionate to platonic.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, you see the change coming. But other times, it can come out of nowhere. It can be a challenging situation to deal with. Hearing those words from your partner is never pleasant, but if it happens to you, here\u2019s how to respond.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><b>How to Process Being Told &#8216;I Love you, But I\u2019m Not in Love With You&#8217;<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><b>Hear what they\u2019re saying<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s not easy to hear your partner say \u201cI love you, but I\u2019m not in love with you.\u201d It\u2019s natural to be sad, angry, hurt and disappointed. However, it\u2019s also not an easy thing for them to say, either. Try to understand where your partner is coming from and know that this was a difficult decision for them to make. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You don\u2019t have to agree with them, but you should try to respect their feelings, hear them out and see where they\u2019re coming from. You can ask questions to understand their reasoning, but do give them space and time to hear them out properly.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><b>Ask yourself if you feel the same way<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did you think things in your relationship were perfect, and that you were both on the same page? Or did you see signs of trouble brewing under the surface? Now is the time to be honest with yourself and to ask yourself if you feel the same way. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s easy to react negatively in this situation, however, take a breather and think deeply about your own feelings.&nbsp; Take time to consider how you really feel about your relationship before responding. Then\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><b>Decide if you want to fight for it or if it\u2019s time to walk away<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your partner has made their decision and is firmly standing by it, there might be nothing you can do to save the relationship. However, if they\u2019re open to talking through things and trying to make it work, now is the time to decide if the relationship worth fighting for. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many options to repair a relationship, from couples\u2019 therapy to setting aside time to talk and have fun again. Sometimes it\u2019s too late or not the best choice for both of you. Know you can fix it if it\u2019s what you both want, but also that you can walk away with your head held high if that\u2019s the outcome.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><b>Do you want to stay friends or not?&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If it\u2019s time to part ways, do you want to cut off all contact with each other? Or do you want to try and stay friends? Every relationship and set of circumstances are different. In some scenarios, things like a house, marriage, and\/or kids may complicate things and make a clean break impossible. Talk to your partner and find a solution that works for both of you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be sure not to sacrifice your own well-being to stay connected with your ex though. You need to do what is best for you and your healing, even if it\u2019s the hard option. It can be very challenging, especially initially, to stay friends. So consider this carefully before deciding.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><b>Find good in bad circumstances<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like we said, nobody wants to hear that their partner isn\u2019t in love with them anymore. But in a way, they\u2019re doing you a favor by telling you. You don\u2019t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn\u2019t want to be in a relationship with you. And the sooner you know how they really feel, the sooner you can move on, start the healing process, and find somebody new. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many different types of meaningful love in life, from family to friends, pets to passions. Take time to look at all the other good things you have in your life and focus on those.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being told &#8216;I love you, but I\u2019m not in love with you&#8217; can be very painful. Take the time you need to grieve your relationship and be kind to yourself in the process. And know, there is something better waiting for you.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s how to respond well to &#8216;I love you, but I&#8217;m not in love with you&#8217;. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":79,"featured_media":19501,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[983,998,997],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19500","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breaking-up","category-break-up","category-love-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I Love You, But I&#039;m Not In Love With You: How to Respond<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There&#039;re no sweeter words in the English language than \u201cI love you\u201d. But no more crushing words than \u201cI love you, but I&#039;m not in love with you\u201d. Here&#039;s how to respond well.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/i-love-you-but-im-not-in-love-with-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Love You, But I&#039;m Not In Love With You: How to Respond\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There&#039;re no sweeter words in the English language than \u201cI love you\u201d. But no more crushing words than \u201cI love you, but I&#039;m not in love with you\u201d. Here&#039;s how to respond well.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/break-up\/i-love-you-but-im-not-in-love-with-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-01-02T18:18:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-31T15:23:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2019\/12\/19061918\/twenty20_4b696fb2-c0b7-4533-94da-ef4dd852fa51-800x600-i-love-you-but-Im-not-inlove-with-you.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Elizabeth Entenman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/elizabenten\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Elizabeth Entenman\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I Love You, But I'm Not In Love With You: How to Respond","description":"There're no sweeter words in the English language than \u201cI love you\u201d. 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