{"id":19507,"date":"2019-12-25T09:09:18","date_gmt":"2019-12-25T17:09:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19507"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:24:19","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:24:19","slug":"love-is-unconditional","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love\/love-is-unconditional\/","title":{"rendered":"Is It True That Love is Unconditional?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It\u2019s easy to love the idea of unconditional love, isn\u2019t it? Who doesn\u2019t want to be loved as we are, in spite of our flaws, and without any conditions? But is it <\/span>really <\/span><\/i>possible for anyone to love unconditionally? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Meaning Of Unconditional Love<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think one of the biggest confusions with unconditional love is that most of us don\u2019t know what it really means.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first thing that often comes to mind is the love a parent has for their child. Naturally, a child will often misbehave and ignore their parents\u2019 guidance; but even if a parent is upset or angry with their child, they will still love them. Although this isn\u2019t always the case, this is an ideal scenario in a parent-child relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a nutshell, unconditional love means you love someone without any strings attached. You care about their happiness, and this isn\u2019t ever affected by external factors. Plus, you don\u2019t expect anything in return. You give your love freely to the person in question because you want to, and you don\u2019t keep score. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t imply forever, but it means that right now in this moment, you\u2019re giving your love to them and it\u2019s theirs to keep. And it\u2019s important to love this way in our relationships, because it removes control and power dynamics. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love Is Unconditional Always?<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Real love for a partner or child <\/span>can <\/span><\/i>be unconditional, but this isn\u2019t always the case. Love is not always unconditional. It depends largely on the two people in the relationship, how they view love, and how they choose to act and show up in that relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s important to explore unconditional love, and whether it\u2019s always a positive state to love someone from. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is Unconditional Love Healthy?<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we touched on earlier, it can be healthy to love someone without expectations. This is true love. If we love someone but expect something in return for that love, we\u2019re using our affection as a tool to control. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While unconditional love can be a beautiful, selfless gift, it\u2019s important to recognize that loving without any boundaries at all isn\u2019t healthy. This is one of the ways a relationship can become toxic. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you follow the idea of unconditional love explicitly, you might believe you should stay in a toxic relationship no matter what. But this is where it\u2019s important to be crystal clear with the definition of unconditional love. It means to love someone regardless of circumstances, but not regardless of how they treat you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For instance, if someone is being verbally or physically abusive towards you, lying or cheating, or stealing from you; it\u2019s important to respect yourself and your happiness enough to walk away. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As human beings, we all have basic needs and desires in our relationships. We expect respect, kindness, understanding, and safety. When these needs are not met, it forces us to set boundaries in order to protect ourselves. That might mean distancing yourself or completely removing yourself from the relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This causes some of us to feel guilt. We think that walking away means we\u2019re being conditional with our love. But remember, that person does not owe you anything, but you do owe yourself kindness and respect. It\u2019s okay to walk away from someone you love in situations like these because it\u2019s important you take care of yourself first and foremost. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love Without Boundaries = Codependent Love<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They say that we teach others how we want to be treated. And I believe this to be true. It\u2019s on us to show our partner, parents, children and friends how we expect to be treated. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we fail to do this or ignore and excuse poor behavior, it tells the other person they can get away with treating us as they please, and will often lead to similar behavior in the future. This tips the scales and gives power to the other person in the relationship. It also means we no longer have an equal voice.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we ignore our boundaries or fail to state them, we\u2019re not offering unconditional love. What we\u2019re really offering is codependent love, and dependance does not mean that love is unconditional! <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, What\u2019s The Line Between Unconditional Love And Codependent Love?<\/b>
\n<\/b>When should you choose to love and stay with someone during struggles, mistakes and frustrations, and when does that turn into unacceptable behavior that you should walk away from? It can be a fine line. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s important that we do stick by our partner in times of hardship. This is key to any healthy, long-lasting relationship. But if the relationship dissolves into one that lacks kindness and respect, and is no longer meeting your basic needs, this is a strong indication that it\u2019s time to let go and move on. Especially if you\u2019ve communicated your feelings and seen no change in your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Signs of Unconditional Love (With Healthy Boundaries)<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other side of co-dependance, is healthy unconditional love. Here\u2019re the signs that you have found that magical place in your relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n