{"id":19639,"date":"2020-03-02T09:00:24","date_gmt":"2020-03-02T17:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19639"},"modified":"2021-05-31T08:10:26","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T15:10:26","slug":"should-i-call-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/should-i-call-him\/","title":{"rendered":"Should I Call Him? How to Know If You’re Being Needy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If you\u2019ve gone out with a guy and he hasn\u2019t called you back in a few days, he\u2019s either extremely busy, or not really interested in seeing you again but doesn\u2019t have the courage to tell you. It\u2019s little wonder that the old question \u201cshould I call him\u201d crops up with a vengeance!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some women like to take charge and be the one to call the guy and suggest going out again, while others prefer to wait for the man to do the chasing. If you\u2019re wondering whether you should call him, it all depends on the situation. Nobody wants to come across as being too clingy, but how do you know if you\u2019re being overly concerned?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is needy, it shows a lack of confidence and self-worth. This can come from growing up feeling unloved, or having a parent who was emotionally unavailable. You desire a kind, loving partner, but subconsciously you don\u2019t believe you\u2019re deserving of a man\u2019s love and respect, because you\u2019ve never had it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But how can you know whether you\u2019re being needy? We\u2019ve put together a few pointers to help you figure out whether you should call him, or if you could do with taking a step back.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re not being authentic<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s fine to ask a man out, this is the 21st century. So is making the first call or sending the initial message. But there\u2019s a difference between taking charge and chasing someone. The former stems from a place of self-confidence, whereas the latter is bound to insecurity.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re phoning him regularly because you feel the need to placate him, something could be something awry. Do you notice yourself biting your tongue or holding back out of fear you might derail things between you? If so, ask yourself whether you feel totally secure with your intentions.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s easy to spot this in other areas of your relationship too. Do you find yourself always agreeing with him because you\u2019re eager to please him? Maybe you always let him crash at your house after a night out with his friends? Perhaps you\u2019re afraid to say no to sex because you worry he might not want to see you anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ask yourself whether your eagerness to please causes you to be too nice to him and ignore what it is that you really want from the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re calling for instant happiness<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re calling him for instant gratification, then you might want to reconsider before calling him. The reason being here is that you\u2019re allowing your happiness to hinge too much on him. What if he says something you\u2019re not expecting? What if he doesn\u2019t have time to talk? What if he doesn\u2019t pick up?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think about what you actually want here. Yes it\u2019s good to talk, and phone calls can leave you in a very pleasant place. But if you\u2019re regularly ringing for little hits of happiness, it\u2019s time to take stock of the situation. It could also be time to question other areas of your relationship too.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you the kind of person who believes that finding the \u201cperfect\u201d man is the answer to all your problems? If you are, it\u2019s worth remembering that cannot often lead to disappointment – here\u2019s no such thing as perfect. Love is about learning to accept people as they are, and grow together.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Above all, if you don\u2019t discover happiness within yourself, then it will never last. You\u2019ll constantly be seeking happiness from your partner and expect more from them than they can give you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You always give more than you get<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you the one who\u2019s always texting or calling first, or making the plans? Do you go out of your way to please him by sending him cute gifts, cooking him dinner, or making sure you always have his favorite beer in the fridge? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re giving in the hope that he\u2019ll appreciate you more and fall in love with you, but you never end up getting what you wished for, it\u2019s because he doesn\u2019t appreciate you. Relationships should be a healthy balance of giving and receiving. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You contact him again when he doesn\u2019t reply<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A good rule to follow is to never text or call someone you\u2019re dating twice. Nobody is too busy to send a quick text to someone they\u2019re into. There\u2019s no reason to call again.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a common scenario: weeks have gone by without hearing from a guy, you\u2019ve convinced yourself that they must\u2019ve lost their phone or had an accident, so you end up sending just one more text. Not being able to handle the radio silence is needy. Instead, embrace the silence with confidence.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Not) Calling makes you anxious<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you find your mind working in overdrive with jealous thoughts and anxiety? You\u2019re always texting and calling him because you want to make sure he\u2019s not with somebody else. Maybe you even give into the temptation to stalk him on social media?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Basically, when you don\u2019t hear from him right away, you immediately think you\u2019ve done something wrong, or you doubt his commitment to you. Trust is the foundation of any stable relationship. Recognize that you\u2019re an amazing woman, and any man would be lucky to be with you. When you embody this, it becomes easier to trust because you value your own self-worth.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t give him (or yourself) space<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Constantly calling and and asking him to spend more time with you will likely be received by him as suffocating. This will lead to him pulling away so he can feel in control of his personal space.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s important that both individuals in any relationship have their own space to be themselves and maintain independence. And as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You call regardless of bad behaviour<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you someone who always ignores red flags like ghosting, cancelling plans at the last minute, or outright lying? If this sounds familiar, it could be because you\u2019re in denial. There\u2019s also probably a reason as to why you gravitate towards toxic men who mistreat you. Behavior like this is never acceptable, and you deserve so much better.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Above all, taking control of the situation with confidence is the right way to go about things. Forget outdated norms and go for it. Acting from a place of emotional stability will emanate positivity. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It will also often end up with you attracting the kind of guys you deserve to date. So, don\u2019t be afraid of rejection. Embrace who you really are, and let your true essence shine. Take down your guard, and be willing to trust.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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