{"id":19835,"date":"2020-05-19T10:16:12","date_gmt":"2020-05-19T17:16:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19835"},"modified":"2021-05-31T07:56:34","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T14:56:34","slug":"how-to-break-up-with-someone-nicely","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/breaking-up\/how-to-break-up-with-someone-nicely\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Break Up with Someone Nicely"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

You\u2019ve come to the realization that this thing you\u2019ve got going on just isn\u2019t going to work out.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that means you\u2019re gonna have to put your adult pants on, have a serious conversation, and end things. Being the dumper isn\u2019t a nice job. But think about how the dumpee feels. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why you owe it to the person you\u2019re seeing to be honest, and <\/span>end the relationship<\/span><\/a> in a kind, gentle way. A way that gives them closure, doesn\u2019t make them feel bad about themselves and allows them to move on in peace. Ghosting is for jerks. And payback is a bitch. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how to break up with someone nicely. And yes, it is possible. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

7 Ways How to Break Up with Someone Nicely<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t drag it out<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s understandable to avoid breaking up with someone because you don\u2019t want to have a difficult conversation or potentially hurt someone\u2019s feelings. But dragging it out will only make the situation worse for both of you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look at breaking up with someone like pulling off an old band-aid – better to do it quickly without um-ing and ah-ing. The sooner it\u2019s done, the quicker you can both go your separate ways and move on. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let them know before everyone else does<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most people will talk to a close friend or two when thinking of breaking up with someone. It\u2019s fine to share your feelings and ask for advice with people you know well and trust to keep things quiet.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, it\u2019s not a great idea to tell <\/span>everyone <\/span><\/i>you know – especially their friends – because this increases the chances of your secret getting out and making its way to them before you get a chance to have a direct conversation. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think about it this way: how would <\/span>you <\/span><\/i>feel if you found out from a friend or stranger that your partner is going to break up with you?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be respectful<\/span><\/a>, and break the news to your partner before you tell everyone else.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do it in person (but not in public)<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve only been on a couple of dates with someone, then it\u2019s not really a relationship, so I\u2019d say it\u2019s fine to do it via text.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But anything more serious than this, I think it\u2019s only right to have the conversation face to face. This shows your partner kindness and respect, and removes any unnecessary confusion or hurt. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A word of warning though – don\u2019t break up in public, unless of course you\u2019re concerned about your safety. If that\u2019s the case then I would advise against doing it face to face.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But for all other situations, privacy will make your partner feel more comfortable and allow them to be honest in their reaction and ask you any questions if they need to. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As you\u2019re the one doing the breaking up, it\u2019s best to do it at their place instead of yours. This means you can pick up and leave once the conversation is over, and means your partner won\u2019t have to go anywhere in an emotional state.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Focus on why the relationship isn\u2019t right for YOU<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bring the focus onto why this relationship isn\u2019t working for you, and keep the focus away from your partner as much as possible. There\u2019s no need to place blame or shame. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, instead of saying, \u201cI can\u2019t be with you because you don\u2019t want to get married and have kids,\u201d you could say, \u201cI\u2019ve realized that I can\u2019t picture my life without marriage or kids. It\u2019s okay that you don\u2019t want those things, but I very much do\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be honest (but not brutally honest)<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it\u2019s important to be honest, you don\u2019t want to be so honest that you hurt their feelings in the process. There\u2019s no need to be cruel. It\u2019s simple to be clear and direct without making it personal.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If they\u2019ve been unfaithful or abusive, then it\u2019s fine to bring that up because it\u2019s an obvious reason as to why you\u2019re wanting to end things. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But avoid mentioning things like physical appearance, sexual performance, finances, or any kind of emotional baggage. There\u2019s no need to hit them where you know it\u2019ll hurt. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be sensitive to their feelings<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember, you don\u2019t know how the other person will react to the news. They may be a lot more attached to you, and may be totally surprised by you wanting to break up.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may feel great about being able to finally let go of an unfulfilling relationship, but you need to be mindful about their feelings. So prepare for them to be hurt, angry, confused, frustrated – any emotion you can think of. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ask for their thoughts<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This doesn\u2019t mean you ask your partner for permission to break up with them or allow their opinion to influence you. What it means is you give them a chance to voice their thoughts and\/or concerns. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A great way to do this is saying what you need to say, then follow it by saying, \u201cwhat do you think?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You never know, they may even end up agreeing with your reasoning and insight on the relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re trying to figure out how to break up with someone nicely, do it with love, kindness and respect. It sounds cheesy, but when you treat people how you hope to be treated, it\u2019s a good starting point. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yes, it is possible to break up with someone nicely. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":141,"featured_media":19836,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[983,973],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breaking-up","category-moving-on"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Basics: How To Break Up With Someone Nicely<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Here\u2019s how to break up with someone nicely. 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