{"id":19928,"date":"2020-07-05T10:25:32","date_gmt":"2020-07-05T17:25:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19928"},"modified":"2021-05-31T07:53:24","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T14:53:24","slug":"how-to-save-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/how-to-save-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Save A Relationship In 5 Practical Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Want to figure out how to save a relationship but don\u2019t know how? If someone tells you that being in a relationship is easy, it\u2019s likely that the relationship is either new or that the person is glossing over things. Relationships aren\u2019t necessarily always hard or at least they shouldn\u2019t constantly be. But they are complicated. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationships happen when two or more people decide to be together. And being together involves compromise and communication, both of which are easier said than done. No matter how similar to your partner you are or how much you complement each other, there will always be times when you clash. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you start clashing more than you\u2019re complementing the relationship starts to go off track and you have to make the active decision to put it on the path you want. Follow these steps to get back to a smoother road. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Save a Relationship Worth Saving<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 1: Decide if you want to save it<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s important that we start with this step first. Because you need to understand that there is no shame in deciding that it\u2019s not worth saving. Even if you\u2019ve been together 30 years. People change and relationships have to change. Sometimes we change enough that we no longer complement each other. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s okay to say goodbye and there is no shame in making that choice. If you\u2019re not happy in your relationship and you <\/span>no longer see a future in which you’re happy<\/span><\/a>, it\u2019s okay to stop trying to save it. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to take care of your own needs and your partner may not be what you need any more, especially if you\u2019re finding that it\u2019s an unhealthy relationship. If there\u2019s ever a moment when you start to think that your partner isn\u2019t healthy for you, you need to know it’s ok to step away.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 2: Talk it out on an even playing field<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationships rely on communication. But sometimes communication can be one-sided. You need to talk to your partner about what you need from your relationship,  but make sure you do it in a way that they get to express their side too.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do it face-to-face and in a place where you both feel comfortable. If you share a home, do it there. But keep it out of the bedroom and never do it when you\u2019re not both in a good mindset, like if you\u2019re both exhausted. If you don\u2019t share a home, don\u2019t do it in a place that\u2019s owned by one of you. The other person will feel like they have less power in the situation. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do it in a place that is safe and neutral for both of you. Maybe go for a walk in a park or on a hike. Find a space where you both feel comfortable and that\u2019s fairly private. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 3: Empathy and sorry’s don’t have to be scary<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We sometimes fear saying sorry. It\u2019s an admission that maybe we weren\u2019t in the right when we did something. It can feel as though saying sorry means losing some power. But that\u2019s not the right mindset to go into when you\u2019re going to talk to your partner about an issue with the relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Understand that this is not a matter of right or wrong. It\u2019s a matter of emotion and where you guys are. Maybe you told your partner something that you thought was really good advice, but it upset your partner. And you still think that what you said is right. It doesn\u2019t matter if what you said is right. It still hurt your partner and made them feel a certain way. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Understand that sorry isn\u2019t an admission of being wrong. It means that you understand that something upset your partner, you\u2019re acknowledging it, and you want to make an effort to not make your partner feel that way in the future. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 4: Be careful about what you\u2019re saying to other people<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When things are going wrong in a relationship, we often look to outside help. Usually, that means friends and family. It\u2019s important to understand that your friends and family love you and that can manifest itself in a certain bias. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your friends have known you forever and your family even longer. They have loved you for a long time, much longer than when you introduced them to your partner. They likely have a connection to you that\u2019s different from the connection that they have to them. So if you come to them saying, \u201cMy partner did this,\u201d they will likely respond by affirming your emotions and, potentially, strengthen them.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not uncommon that we talk to our friends and they tell us that we\u2019re in the right and our partner is wrong. That feedback loop will only make your reaction stronger and, suddenly, you think your partner is absolutely, completely wrong too. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This feedback loop then gets taken home with you and you talk to your partner believing that they are absolutely completely wrong. You\u2019re no longer empathetic to your partner because you now believe that their side of the argument doesn\u2019t have any merit. Be aware of what you say to others and of their bias to your point of view. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Always remember, if you want to save a relationship, being right and wrong and the blame game should be put aside in order to really hear each other. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 5: Understand that you might go to bed angry and that\u2019s okay<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Staying up all night talking isn\u2019t going to solve a problem as much as TV might want to tell you it does. In all likelihood, if your relationship is struggling, one really long session talking about your issues isn\u2019t going to solve everything. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, staying up all night is just going to make you both exhausted and more likely to say something you don\u2019t mean. It\u2019s okay to call a time-out. If you\u2019ve been talking it out for hours already and you\u2019re just feeling angrier, take a step back and understand that maybe it\u2019s not the right time to talk. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe one of you had a horrible day at work or you don\u2019t feel in the right headspace to be talking about something as serious as the problems you\u2019re having in your relationship. Or maybe you\u2019re having family issues and you just really need your partner to hold you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s okay to call time-out and say, \u201cI need this right now. Can we do this and talk tomorrow?\u201d Just keep in mind how often you\u2019re doing this as it\u2019s unfair to continue to ask this night after night. Eventually, you will have to talk it out even if it\u2019s unpleasant.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationships are give-and-take. You need to give your empathy and take time to communicate. If you truly believe that you want to save your relationship, put in both time and empathy to get back on track. With a commitment to open communication and honesty as the foundation of how to save a relationship, you can get there together and rebuild the love you both want and deserve. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The steps to getting your relationship back on track. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":156,"featured_media":19929,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[894,898],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19928","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healthy-relationships","category-relationship-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Save A Relationship In 5 Practical Steps That Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Want to know how to save a relationship but don\u2019t know how? Relationships can be hard, but are worth the effort. 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