{"id":19958,"date":"2020-07-17T08:34:25","date_gmt":"2020-07-17T15:34:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=19958"},"modified":"2021-05-31T07:52:40","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T14:52:40","slug":"boundaries-in-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/healthy-relationships\/boundaries-in-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Build Healthy Boundaries In Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All relationships have boundaries. Some boundaries are discussed, others are assumed, and some are only discovered when they\u2019ve been crossed.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Boundaries are a way of assuring that your needs are met in a relationship. They are also a way of assuring that your values and expectations aren\u2019t violated. Boundaries can preserve your privacy and independence. Boundaries can help you <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/healthy-relationships\/characteristics-of-a-healthy-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">build healthier, better relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>How to Identify Your Boundaries in Relationships<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everyone has boundaries, but few people have the same boundaries, and that\u2019s why it\u2019s so important to set the boundaries in your relationship. Having a clear understanding of each other\u2019s boundaries in relationships is actually one of the most <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/healthy-relationships\/pillars-of-healthy-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">loving things you can do for each other<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and your relationship!&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consider your boundaries in the following areas. There are no right or wrong answers, as long as both parties are in agreement.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Financial Boundaries<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who is going to pay for what? How much will you spend on birthdays and Christmas? How much is too much? Should everything be split 50:50? Does the man pay for dates? Does the person with the larger salary carry the brunt of the load?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are all important questions to cover to avoid misunderstanding and hurt in the future.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Work Boundaries<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does work always take precedence? Should a career-minded partner be willing to skip working evenings to spend time with the other person? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For some people, work is an unnecessary evil that funds the rest of their life. For others, it is their life.&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Figuring out your commitment and ambitions in the workplace is an important part of adult relationships.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Sexual Boundaries&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people like to keep it conservative, while others prefer to dress up like a Martian and swing from the chandelier. Everyone has a sexual limit, and it\u2019s rare that two people have the same limits.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;A lot of drama can be avoided by understanding what your partner will and won\u2019t do, what they want to and don\u2019t want to do in the bedroom.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Past Relationships<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people insist on dissecting their partner\u2019s past. Others believe that the past is irrelevant and should stay in the past. What are you willing to reveal? What do you want to know?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Speak to each other honestly and openly about where you stand on past relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Family Commitments<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you want them to come to the family barbecue? Or do you want them to keep their distance? Is it okay for your boyfriend to call your mother or sister for advice about your relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you have children from a previous relationship, how do you want to<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-with-kids\/blended-family\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> include the children in your new relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Family can become a heated topic. The best thing is speak about it to understand each other and get on the same page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Sharing Friends<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you want your new girlfriend to spend time with your friends, or should she stay away for the first six months? Are your friends now his friends by default, or should he go somewhere else if he needs a friend?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Friendships can add a complicated dynamic to a new relationship and you should openly discuss what you feel comfortable with.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Together Time and Fun Time<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How much time will you spend together? Are Friday nights expected? Is it unacceptable not to communicate for a week? How much time together is too much? Maybe you only want to see your boyfriend once a week.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is staying for breakfast too domestic for you? Should weekends be reserved for each other? Do you vacation with your friends without your new romantic partner, or do you take them along?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Figuring out both your expectations of time in the relationship is crucial to smooth sailing.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Dating Exclusivity<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the early stages of your relationship, do you like to continue playing the field, or just stick to one person? Some people prefer open relationships even after they\u2019ve been together for years.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Make sure you know where you stand to avoid conflict and misunderstanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The most important thing you can do is discuss your boundaries in relationships with your dating partner openly. It\u2019s unfair to expect someone to follow a boundary that you\u2019re keeping a secret. Relationships require communication. Why leave anything to chance? Let the other person know what you expect.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be prepared to enforce your boundaries. When you are tolerant of your boundaries being crossed, you can safely assume it will happen again. When someone regularly fails to respect your boundaries, it\u2019s a sign that you could be with the wrong person.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s just as important to understand the other person\u2019s boundaries and respect them. If you\u2019re both on the same page, you have a better chance of enjoying a healthy, long-lasting relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"post-content entry-content cff\">\n<p><i>Sherry Gaba helps singles navigate the dating process to find the love of their lives.&nbsp;<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/wakeuprecovery.com\/codependency-quiz\/\"><i>Take her&nbsp;<\/i><\/a><i>quiz to find out if you\u2019re struggling with co-dependency, sign up for a&nbsp;<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn=9rZoFp-2B-2FACZgvhD0qLxklyLZfZoqMCJ9VyDnzwXNewTaql-2Fc-2BCV0m8YBE7KucwqyB8z1odZYzCd3FOaQ5RMPijrE9DCIGB2xd81B-2FJx3J7FZinK3ZMIK8TiApBCsfKeeu3hpAFzbsx3J9ovT-2BMLWmSPjEMhmS6TJfq5-2Ba-2BpSnHM-3D_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm7Mks-2FRhDDoGNUrcKCtHyuFnqUeViVJvkFK0gDyyQJpSmlxQG4GxY-2FtennrPjoVoTvmEZaToZHIclDlgKL-2FueJBO8L-2FFTUZ8UHf9IeupwVjUuovkoUUciO-2Fph7WwORthj92DMzbvJWpiJts2hPEwx5aJyvhLoQgCe5J4vIMxD-2BfKhW2zzyJgWJRqP-2F4EIKWBUK2Z3JEVPswaTd8QCGUH2ILw-3D-3D\"><i>30-minute strategy session<\/i><\/a><i>, or learn more about how to get over a&nbsp;<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn=9rZoFp-2B-2FACZgvhD0qLxkl3YfODXDDcO1byTXplt4bNdiD5AB9BwZPh3r7LRUnh4smsLDPmB5XYwOTZ-2FD7yVtDw-3D-3D_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm7E3WB5kiK4RgR5Wxl3Xyoh4bhXxAMyC7SWsBTsVsb8AHNxLMhEtCdbbJdMm4TreTYlmPkQZdcJ7kXuN5vOMH-2BMbTHwAqOEGZc6nL2U19L6E9UITupk0llvyP9RgIALQrlx3plUsxzewWPq8dBvR-2BNKGq2tPTeg6AppdQc6QMRb8O71MekZngXCBfVZhO-2FBq3jyJgg80RgvHeMIlJZeSEiZA-3D-3D\"><i>break-up<\/i><\/a><i>. For more information visit&nbsp;<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/u6763182.ct.sendgrid.net\/wf\/click?upn=-2FIQcnM36UjadL4LdS3XoqzQOSQbpuMxSJL9zXjrYax-2F1HHR6iBjamIPN5yEXjazk_izJavaOg5-2FrHZpqh4RKhjT-2FW0yvWSy-2BZnj0kV-2B0juESe9oSBe-2FKMF5Pjs1b09cm7LzgF2Rf3F93qM5p1FTuJR809ncgvarrNsjLOa2kPQt-2BXCjicMOPsAOLKecysbTVuKvGP-2FsfpGDxoenp8mTI5umEopOvOODbakQ5QJp60iC6fHLqjRk8Mde39kjaKFbOpWblnHNatgu22pXSkAst2qDrXEyXabFDXbVT6x-2FwiHTPGQQVU3J84VlEdB-2FOwTHA84FGP1ixfVFqCimo-2BuQ0UZA-3D-3D\"><i>www.sherrygaba.com<\/i><\/a><i>&nbsp;or sign up today for Sherry\u2019s online<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/wakeuprecovery.com\/become-a-member-co\/\"><i>&nbsp;group coaching program<\/i><\/a><i>. Buy her books&nbsp;<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1628657405\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1628657405&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=sherrygaba-20&amp;linkId=9e8bef1288d85955eaa07076fe0dfb64\"><i>Love Smacked<\/i><\/a><i>: How to Break the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to find Everlasting Love or&nbsp;<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/sherrygaba.com\/product\/infinite-recovery\/\"><i>Infinite Recovery&nbsp;<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to draw the lines kindly and fairly. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":164,"featured_media":19959,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[894,997],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19958","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healthy-relationships","category-love-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How To Build Healthy Boundaries In Relationships<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Boundaries in relationships can help you have a healthier and happier relationship. 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She's a sought-after online dating and relationship coach based in Westlake Village. Take her quiz to find out if you\u2019re struggling with co-dependency nor sign up for a 30-minute strategy session. Sherry has been working with Zoosk to create engaging, informative content around all aspects of dating, love, and relationships.","sameAs":["https:\/\/sherrygaba.com\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/sherry-gaba\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19958","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/164"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19958"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19958\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19959"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19958"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19958"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19958"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}