{"id":20246,"date":"2020-10-20T09:13:29","date_gmt":"2020-10-20T16:13:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=20246"},"modified":"2021-05-31T07:39:28","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T14:39:28","slug":"having-sex-on-the-first-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/first-date-tips\/having-sex-on-the-first-date\/","title":{"rendered":"Having Sex On The First Date: Yes, No, Maybe?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Is having sex on the first date bad?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Society has always had unspoken rules about when it\u2019s appropriate to have sex, and more pressingly, when it isn\u2019t.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Even today, many women worry that if they have sex on a first date they\u2019ll be labeled as unmarriable. And some men are concerned that if they go all the way on date number one, it\u2019ll seem like they\u2019re not looking for something serious.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">It\u2019s a pretty contested issue.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">So here\u2019s our take on whether or not it\u2019s ok to have sex on the first date (spoiler alert, it is).<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Is Having Sex on the First Date Bad? Absolutely not!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Sex can be fun<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Whatever sexual activities you engage in is exclusively up to you and your partner. So if you&#8217;re both game, then why not have sex on the first date?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Having sex on date number one isn&#8217;t unusual. In fact, studies show that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/first-date-tips\/first-date-sex\/\">just over one-third of people do it<\/a>!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">When there&#8217;s clear enthusiastic consent between partners, sex can be amazing. After all, <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/healthy-relationships\/how-important-is-sex-in-a-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">sex is key to a successful relationship<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Whatever worth or power you give sex is up to you, not society.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">It helps establish whether or not you have chemistry<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">If you\u2019d like to take things to the next level, then don\u2019t let outdated dating rules get in the way.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">When both parties are open to the experience, then&nbsp;<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.elitesingles.com\/mag\/relationship-advice\/sex-on-the-first-date\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">sex on the first date can be fantastic<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">. It\u2019s an all-in way to test out your sexual chemistry. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">But whether this head-first mentality is for you depends on how you feel about sex.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Some people want to save sex as a special something they share with a partner they\u2019re close with, while others feel comfortable sharing this experience sooner.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">We\u2019re not saying that the only way to test out your bond with someone is to have sex with them on night one, but if you\u2019d like to give it a go, then that\u2019s ok!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">But is having sex on a first date necessary? No, here\u2019s why<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">You might lead the other person on<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">If both partners are looking to have fun, hook up, and part ways, then that&#8217;s one thing. But if one is looking for something serious and the other isn\u2019t, then that&#8217;s another story.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">When it comes to having sex on the first date, make sure you&#8217;re honest about your expectations right then.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Sure, this conversation topic may sound like a mood-killer, but it doesn\u2019t have to be.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">If it starts to look like first date sex is on the cards, say something like &#8220;Hey, I&#8217;m down with this if you are, but I just want to be clear that I&#8217;m not looking for anything serious right now&#8221;.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">You&#8217;re not being a jerk, you&#8217;re just being honest. Clearing the air like this will<\/span><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">&nbsp;mitigate the risk of hurt feelings down the line. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Engaging in sex with someone under false pretenses of what it means, or could mean, is unacceptable.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Maybe it\u2019s just not what you\u2019re into<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">If having sex on the first date isn\u2019t your vibe, then that\u2019s fine too.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Opting out of first date sex doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re rejecting your sexuality, it just means you&#8217;re listening to yourself and your body. That\u2019s important.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Just like there\u2019s a stereotype out there of the kind of person who does have sex on the first date, there\u2019s one out there for the kind of person who doesn\u2019t too. Neither is accurate.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Maybe you\u2019ve got a sexual past that you don\u2019t feel comfortable sharing with someone you&#8217;ve just met. Or you could have a history of unsatisfying one-night stands that have put you off first date sex.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">If either party has been drinking, there\u2019s also a question surrounding their ability to consent.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Whatever it is, any or no reason for waiting is acceptable and valid. So don\u2019t feel embarrassed about saying no.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">First date sex isn\u2019t always great<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Even if you&#8217;re super attracted to your date, your first date sex might not be fantastic. Why? Because you don\u2019t know what the other likes in bed!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Sometimes, having great sex takes practice. If you\u2019ve only spent one date with your partner, it\u2019s unlikely you\u2019ve had the time to communicate what does and doesn\u2019t work for you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">First-time sex can leave people disappointed. This may make you more inclined to write each other off when in truth, all you guys needed was more time.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">The Bottom Line<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">So, should you have sex on the first date? Well, it depends on how you and your partner are feeling.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">If it feels right, and if you&#8217;re open about what you&#8217;re looking for, then go for it. If not, then there\u2019s no harm in waiting.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">What matters is that it\u2019s something you\u2019ve both enthusiastically consented to, not outdated societal norms.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your sexual rulebook is the only one that matters.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":212,"featured_media":20247,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[892],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-first-date-tips"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Is Having Sex On The First Date Ok? 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Discover why your rules are the only ones that matter.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/first-date-tips\/having-sex-on-the-first-date\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-10-20T16:13:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-31T14:39:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/wedding_t20_g8oe9x-800x600-having-sex-on-the-first-date.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Demeter DeLune\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/DeluneDemeter\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Demeter DeLune\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Is Having Sex On The First Date Ok? 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