{"id":20452,"date":"2021-03-20T09:25:32","date_gmt":"2021-03-20T16:25:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/datemixstaging.wpengine.com\/?p=20452"},"modified":"2022-10-26T05:22:29","modified_gmt":"2022-10-26T12:22:29","slug":"is-flirting-cheating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love-advice\/is-flirting-cheating\/","title":{"rendered":"Is Flirting Cheating? When It&#8217;s Ok And When It&#8217;s Not!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is flirting cheating or is it harmless? It\u2019s a question that\u2019s plagued many relationships, with fingers being pointed left and right. Jealousy, insecurity, and downright anger all can rear their ugly heads when it comes to flirting outside of a relationship. And suddenly, even a stable-seeming relationship starts to crumble.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So should flirting really have this big of an impact on a relationship? Is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/what-is-considered-cheating\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">flirting actually cheating<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">? Let\u2019s break down when it is, when it isn\u2019t, and what to do when flirting starts to affect your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Is Flirting Cheating? Three Times When It Is<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li aria-level=\"1\"><b>You\u2019re getting emotional fulfillment from flirting<\/b><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we think about flirting, we think about engaging in a teasing relationship which can hint at sexual connection but never crosses the line into sexual engagement. That being said, flirting can sometimes toe the line between emotional connection and emotional engagement as well, which is when <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenshealthmag.com\/relationships\/a26986841\/is-flirting-cheating\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Professor Terri Orbuch, PhD<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, says flirting can turn into cheating.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhen you begin to go to that person for emotional support and connection, rather than your partner, you have crossed the line from flirting to emotional cheating,&#8221; says Orbuch. It\u2019s fine to have a friend you flirt with who you also talk to and confide in, but if they know more about what\u2019s going on in your life than your partner does, you\u2019re emotionally cheating. This problem is particularly exacerbated if you\u2019re also confiding in this person about your relationship issues with your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li aria-level=\"1\"><b>You think about this person when you\u2019re with your partner<\/b><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re laying in bed at night with your partner and your mind keeps going back to that person at work you keep flirting with, you\u2019re likely emotionally cheating. That person may not physically be between you and your partner, but with them occupying your mind, they are emotionally between the two of you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having feelings of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/emotional-attraction\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/emotional-attraction\/\">emotional attraction<\/a> toward another person is very common, particularly when you\u2019ve been in a relationship for a long time. Having those feelings isn\u2019t the problem. The problem is when you allow those feelings to consume, rather than try to come to terms with them and decide what you want to do with them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li aria-level=\"1\"><b>You don\u2019t want to tell your partner about the person you\u2019re flirting with<\/b><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re skipping out on work functions you\u2019re supposed to bring your spouse to just because you don\u2019t want your spouse to meet the new person at work you\u2019re flirting with and maybe crushing on, you\u2019ve crossed a line. You hiding this person from your partner means that, somewhere in you, you feel like you\u2019ve done something wrong and have something to hide.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We really are our own best gauges to determine <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/what-is-microcheating\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">if our flirting has become cheating<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If you feel nervous about the prospect of your partner meeting the object of your flirty affections, it\u2019s because you know you\u2019ve done something that you don\u2019t think your partner would like.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Is Flirting Cheating? Three Times When It\u2019s Not<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Your partner knows the person you\u2019re flirting with and that you flirt with them<\/b><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many people engage in harmless flirting and many people know that their partners do too. If you\u2019re flirting with someone long term, like someone you see at an office every day, open the conversation up to your partner about how they feel about it. A knee-jerk reaction to flirting might be to hide it from a partner, but that sets a bad precedent.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Flirting happens, and if you\u2019re in a long-term relationship, you need three consenting adults to make it happen: you, the person you\u2019re flirting with, and your partner. In order to get that consent, your partner needs to be able to know that it\u2019s occurring. They can\u2019t consent if you keep them in the dark.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li aria-level=\"1\"><b>The connection between you and the person you\u2019re flirting with isn\u2019t deep<\/b><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Getting emotional fulfillment from flirting is cheating, but engaging in some teasing and light conversations isn\u2019t. Passing comments (as long as all parties are comfortable with them) is harmless and so is just enjoying having someone around to joke and laugh with. The issue lies in when those conversations get heavier and more emotional, and you start to open a door for a deeper connection.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having a friend to have deep conversations with is fine, but it\u2019s best, then, not to be flirting with that person because that person can very quickly appear to take on the role of a partner, which your partner is most likely not going to be thrilled with. Keep it light to keep it from becoming cheating.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li aria-level=\"1\"><b>The object of your flirtations knows there are boundaries<\/b><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re flirting with someone, just like your partner knows that you\u2019re flirting, the person you&#8217;re flirting with needs to know you have a partner. If not, they may think you\u2019re leaving a door open to one day become more emotional or even physical with them. Be certain that who you are flirting with knows that there are boundaries that cannot be crossed.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If they are not aware of the boundaries and try to cross them one day, that\u2019s on you and not on them, because they can\u2019t be expected to know something you decided not to tell them. By hiding these boundaries, you\u2019ll end up alienating both your partner and your flirter.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>What to Do When You Think You Emotionally Cheated<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to psychology professor Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., the first step is admitting to yourself that you are emotionally cheating, but the second step is analyzing why. Imagine if the flirtation continued and imagine if no boundaries were in place. What would happen? Would you want what would happen to happen? Is it even possible to pursue a relationship with this person, and would it be worth it to sacrifice your current relationship to try?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you\u2019ve figured out where your head is at, address it with your partner, and talk about why it happened and what you can do together to prevent it from happening in the future. Listen to what your partner has to say as well about their own feelings on the subject, and take it to heart to make changes to your own behavior in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>What to Do When You Think Your Partner Emotionally Cheated<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s difficult to know when a partner is emotionally cheating and the ways in which you may be able to \u201cuncover\u201d if they are would be breaches in trust and privacy. The first step when you think your partner has emotionally cheated should never be \u201csnooping around,\u201d according to relationship counselor <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.independent.co.uk\/life-style\/love-sex\/flirting-cheating-answer-according-relationship-expert-relate-a7372051.html\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Denise Knowles<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf you are snooping I would think \u2018hang on is there something else going on?\u2019 A lack of communication? Are you spending time apart? What can\u2019t you talk to your partner about that is leading you to look at their phone?\u201d she says.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel that your partner may be emotionally cheating, don\u2019t confront them with accusations, but instead with curiosity. Flirting can become cheating without someone really being fully aware of it and they may never have intended for their actions to harm you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The best thing to do is to start a dialogue based on curiosity and openness, allowing them to tell you what\u2019s been going on without fear of immediate anger. Listen without interruption and then be open about your own feelings on the issue. With communication and honesty, you as a couple can discuss and define your understanding of the question is flirting cheating or not?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It can be tricky to know where to draw the line&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":156,"featured_media":20453,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[974,894,997],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20452","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-flirting","category-healthy-relationships","category-love-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Is Flirting Cheating? When It&#039;s Ok And When It&#039;s Not<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you&#039;ve ever wondered &quot;is flirting cheating?&quot;, we break down the basics. Find out when it&#039;s okay, when it&#039;s not, and why.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love-advice\/is-flirting-cheating\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is Flirting Cheating? When It&#039;s Ok And When It&#039;s Not\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you&#039;ve ever wondered &quot;is flirting cheating?&quot;, we break down the basics. Find out when it&#039;s okay, when it&#039;s not, and why.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/love-advice\/is-flirting-cheating\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-03-20T16:25:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-10-26T12:22:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/adult-attractive-beautiful-boyfriend-cafe-casual-caucasian-cheerful-coffee-conversation-drinking_t20_4e93EO-800x600-is-flirting-cheating-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jacqueline Gualtieri\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Jacqueline Gualtieri\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Is Flirting Cheating? 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Since she'd miss writing too much, she figured writing for Zoosk would be the next best thing! You can also find her work at EliteSingles and SilverSingles. Jacqueline has been working with Zoosk to create unique, engaging content for online daters, and couples, looking to form real, meaningful relationships.","sameAs":["in\/jacqueline-gualtieri-773258108\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/jacqueline-gualtieri\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20452","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/156"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20452"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20452\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20453"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20452"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20452"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20452"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}