{"id":4028,"date":"2014-03-04T18:40:30","date_gmt":"2014-03-04T18:40:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/about.zoosk.com\/en\/?p=4028"},"modified":"2021-06-01T00:27:17","modified_gmt":"2021-06-01T07:27:17","slug":"dealing-with-an-ex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-women\/dealing-with-an-ex\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing with an Ex: They’re Still in Touch and I Hate It!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dear Joan Actually,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, I found<\/em> som<\/em>eone<\/em> awesome. He\u2019s a great guy, but he\u2019s still in touch with his ex. I can\u2019t stand it. They don\u2019t hang out a lot, but they definitely still talk. I want to be cool about this, but I don\u2019t want to get hurt. Should I ask him to end it? How can I do that without sounding crazy?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Lexington, KY<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The beginning stages of any relationship require adjustment. Unfortunately, this may include adjusting to your guy’s old news. It’s not easy to dealing with an ex or even discussing the ex diplomatically. Since you don’t know much about her, you can start thinking that she was some kind of mythical goddess and feel a little threatened. It’s easy to let these feelings get a little out of hand and, when you do, you’re guaranteed to show off some very unattractive behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keeping an ex around can make things more complicated, if it’s not handled appropriately. In other words, your boyfriend needs to manage this potentially tension-causing situation. You, on the other hand, need to figure out what really bothers you about the contact they have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope you haven\u2019t been betrayed in the past or think that you are anything less than a great catch. If either of those situations apply to you, take some time for yourself and get that figured out before involving your boyfriend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Give yourself a break (and him the benefit of the doubt) and remember the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019s not with her; he\u2019s with you. If he wanted to be with her, he would.<\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your boyfriend’s relationship with his ex is fueling the flames of insecurity, talk to him about your insecurity–not his behavior. Here’s a couple ways to start that conversation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nice to know you\u2019re the kind of guy that ends things on good terms, but I am feeling a little jealous of your ex-girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI feel uncomfortable when you talk to your ex-girlfriend. I need some reassurance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After sharing your feelings, do NOT<\/strong> get naggy and press the issue. Just sit back and watch what happens. Assuming he wants to keep you around, he will do what he can to ensure your happiness. If you\u2019ve indicated that something bothers you and he does something about it\u2014that tells you something. If you bring up an issue and he doesn\u2019t do anything about it\u2014that also tells you something.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Talk about your emotions rather than getting emotional.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":12173,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[886,898],"tags":[759,768,783,589],"class_list":["post-4028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-women","category-relationship-problems","tag-hetero","tag-joanactually","tag-problems","tag-women"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDealing with an Ex: They're Still in Touch and I Hate It!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dealing with an ex is tough. 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