Being a flirt, online or in real life takes a certain level of finesse. Some people are naturally charismatic, effortless flirts. Other people become successful flirts by learning the tricks of the trade through trial and error. Others flirt minimally or not at all. Online flirting is an art form.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I use the term \u201cflirt\u201d very loosely. When I say flirt, I don\u2019t mean cheesy compliments and canned pick-up lines. Saying something like, \u201cThere must be a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them,\u201d is not flirting with another person. That\u2019s just flirting with disaster.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n By flirting, I mean the art of witty and spontaneous banter. By flirting, I mean using dialogue and conversation to attract people to you, engaging with people in a light-hearted, fun, easy, and graceful way to bond with them romantically. With the medium of online dating, success necessarily involves utilizing the written word (i.e. your online flirting ability) as a social skill.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Composing a dashing and coquettish message is not as difficult as it seems. Just as there are tips and tricks with flirting in real life, there are rules (and shortcuts) with flirting online. So how do you turn your drab little \u201cHi, my name is\u2026\u201d message into a sparkling, enchanting, tantalizing series of bon mots sure to send any reader into throes of ecstatic bliss? Harness all your writing ability, and get ready to become a veritable Lord Byron, because it\u2019s not as hard as it seems! <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s right. I\u2019m going to tell you how to be betting at online flirting. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Do not be tempted by the easy compliment or a clich\u00e9 Metaphors and similes, when used in moderation, are your friends Here\u2019s an example: <\/span>Guess what my shirt\u2019s made of? Boyfriend material.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n Another great prompt for a possible metaphor or simile is <\/span>You make me feel like\u2026<\/span><\/i> or <\/span>Around you, I become.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n Try it out for yourself. <\/span>You make me feel like I\u2019m finally home. Around you, I become aware the depths of my own heart. <\/span><\/i>Hey, it\u2019s not so hard!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s not the size that matters, but how you use it Don\u2019t reveal too much too soon \u2014 mystery is fuel to the fire Everyone loves a funny person So are you ready to start online flirting? I certainly think so. Have at it!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Writing advice on how to flirt online. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":12095,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[974,889,980],"tags":[792],"class_list":["post-463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-flirting","category-online-dating-first-message","category-online-dating-tips","tag-onlinemessages"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\n<\/b>It\u2019s too easy, too cheap, to fall prey to the easy compliment and the ready clich\u00e9. It\u2019s like giving someone a ready-to-wear message when you can easily whip up some homemade haute couture. Think about it. For this awesome individual whom you\u2019ve set your eye on, getting another message that simply says <\/span>You\u2019re a hottie <\/span><\/i>or <\/span>hey what\u2019s up<\/span><\/i> is probably about as exciting as breathing. Online daters are so used to it, they barely notice it anymore. If you choose to compliment, dole out a real beauty, something you\u2019ve thought of and created just for that person. It doesn\u2019t have to be beautiful poetry. All it has to do is not be the same old boring crap this person hears day in and day out.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/b>We are given this thing called language. We should have fun with it! Language serves the purpose of communication, though in the process, we can take all sorts of liberties with it to save it from the abuses of everyday speech. For instance, we can use metaphors and similes. Though it might not be readily apparent at first, the use of metaphor is rife in the arena of the flirted word. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/b>Write a sonnet, not a novel. Keep your responses short and sweet\u2014at first. Later on, beautifully articulated, 17-page epics are encouraged. At first, however, you always want to make the person you\u2019re trying to attract lust for more. Give an inch (of prose), and they\u2019ll demand a mile. I\u2019m not a proponent of two-word responses, but a short, two-paragraph message where each word is measured (and no words are wasted) is the online equivalent of a brief conversation that ends too soon and leaves you starving for more. There\u2019s no shame in being coy. After all, isn\u2019t that what flirting is all about?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/b>In due course, everything will be revealed. If you date someone, they will eventually find out everything about you (the good, the bad, the ugly, and the sublime). Skeletons will eventually tumble from your closets, so there\u2019s no point in disclosing your whole life story too soon. In the art of flirtation, evocative and mysterious statements are the word of law. Your desirability quotient is (at first) at least partly contingent on your ability to evoke a sense of enigma about your persona, to not talk too much or spill too much about yourself in the beginning in order to sustain your date\u2019s sense of interest in you over time. In no sense am I advocating secrecy or lies\u2014it\u2019s important to be honest all the time, less important to disclose information about yourself unprompted and unprovoked. Wait until you are asked, before you spill the beans.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/b>You don\u2019t have to be the class clown of online dating, but a little humor never hurt anyone, particularly when used pointedly to attract a mate. Even if it goes against everything you believe, at least try to lighten up and make a joke (think of it as a thought experiment). Humor is like a jolt of charm. Who doesn\u2019t love to laugh? While there is no easy lesson on how to be funny, the best rule of thumb is to try to make it sound natural and situational. Make jokes if it\u2019s relevant and applies, but don\u2019t make stupid jokes for no reason (you\u2019ll come off as a \u2018try hard\u2019). This is not to say that you need to take lessons on stand-up comedy in order to date someone. Rather, I\u2019m suggesting that you attempt to see the humor in situations and let your natural humor shine. Everyone out there has a sense of humor. We just have varying degrees of comfort in showing it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n