{"id":4874,"date":"2014-05-09T11:54:49","date_gmt":"2014-05-09T18:54:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/about.zoosk.com\/en\/?p=4874"},"modified":"2021-06-01T00:25:49","modified_gmt":"2021-06-01T07:25:49","slug":"secrets-healthy-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/healthy-relationships\/secrets-healthy-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Have a Healthy Relationship: Experts Weigh In"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Fans asked: How can men improve their listening skills and be more mindful in conversations?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From Venus (Lauren Gray)<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe never listens!\u201d is probably the most common complaint among women. Which is funny because most men think they\u2019re great listeners. There\u2019s clearly some secret men need to unlock in order to be what a woman considers, \u201ca great listener.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For women, talking and sharing is a form of intimacy. It\u2019s how we connect, how we bond. For men, however, talking is primarily about getting a point across.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Relationship<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

So it makes sense that men and women have slightly different definitions of \u201clistening.\u201d Men can sit at a bar talking and also be watching the game on TV. Being distracted by the game doesn\u2019t interfere with the conversation or getting the point across. However, a woman wants your undivided attention when she talks. \u201cGetting her point\u201d isn\u2019t the main goal here; being present and making eye contact IS.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another tip to being a good listener is to listen without interrupting. Don\u2019t try to solve her problem. That\u2019s not why she\u2019s talking. She\u2019s talking to connect with you and create intimacy. So if you want to make her happy, don\u2019t look at the TV, don\u2019t pick at your nails, (whatever you do, DO NOT look at your watch!) and don\u2019t solve her problems; just sit with her, make eye contact and when she pauses, say, \u201cHmm\u2026tell me more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want a step-by-step guide to how to listen better (especially when a woman is upset about something) click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From Mars (Dr. John Gray)<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ladies, if you want a man to listen, take a moment to consider why he stops listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without a doubt, as Lauren points out, he has no idea what women really want. So you have to let him know what\u2019s important to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Simply saying, \u201cYou\u2019re not listening\u201d or \u201cYou don\u2019t understand\u201d can easily turn him off because it sounds like blame. Nobody, male or female, enjoys feeling criticized.  We all begin to defend ourselves when we feel criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Choosing the right words when you want him to listen can make all the difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of saying, \u201cYou\u2019re not listening.\u201d Give the same message in a non-critical sounding way. Say, \u201cHmm, Let me try saying this differently.\u201d And then start again. This friendly message lets him know that you don\u2019t feel heard but at the same time he doesn\u2019t feel blamed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Click here<\/a> for more tips to improve communication and learn the best techniques for talking in a way that makes a man want to listen more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Relationship<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus shares the secrets to having a healthy relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":12139,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[894,900],"tags":[764,796,759,589],"class_list":["post-4874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healthy-relationships","category-dating-statistics-and-research","tag-expert","tag-healthy","tag-hetero","tag-women"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Have a Healthy Relationship: Experts Weigh In<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus shares the secrets to having a healthy relationship.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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