{"id":4920,"date":"2014-05-09T12:48:45","date_gmt":"2014-05-09T19:48:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/about.zoosk.com\/en\/?p=4920"},"modified":"2024-03-20T05:45:41","modified_gmt":"2024-03-20T12:45:41","slug":"getting-over-shyness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/getting-over-shyness\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Over Shyness: How to Overcome Your Anxiety and Start a Conversation!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A dater asked: How do I get over shyness towards women?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From Venus (Lauren Gray)<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get it ladies. We want men to be old school: to pursue us and be ballsy. What happened to these guys? Where are they? Today they all seem to act too cool for school, like they can\u2019t be bothered. And this isn\u2019t the way to a woman\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But we have to understand that they only \u201cact\u201d this way because they\u2019re shy and they\u2019re afraid of rejection. You can relate to that, can\u2019t you? The cool thing is that we, women, have a unique ability to bring out the ballsy pursuer in a man by letting him know that his attentions are welcome.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Relationship<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

These 3 moves work every time. The first two are self-explanatory. But the third is all about creating opportunities for the man to relate to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve smiled and made eye contact and he\u2019s made the effort to say \u201cHi. How are you?\u201d Don\u2019t answer with \u201cFine.\u201d Instead give T<\/strong>oo M<\/strong>uch I<\/strong>nformation (TMI). For example, \u201cGreat! I went to the beach this weekend and threw a Frisbee around and to be totally honest, my back is so sore. Haha. I haven\u2019t played Frisbee since I was little and I went camping with my family on the coast.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

See how that\u2019s done? Now he can connect with being sore, playing sports, beach days, summer, family, growing up, camping trips, etc., giving him the opportunity to relate to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019ll knock the shy right out of him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to know more about the TMI technique and more,\u00a0grab a copy of my free eBook, \u201cMars Venus Dating (for Couples and Singles).\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From Mars (Dr. John Gray)<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMe Tarzan, you Jane.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Guys, it\u2019s natural to get tongue tied when you\u2019re attracted to a girl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nobody wants to feel rejected. This stress causes increased blood flow to the fight or flight center of the brain–rather than the talking part of the brain\u2014leaving you with nothing to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The secret to lessening this anxiety is the recognition that women really appreciate guys taking the risk to reveal their interest. They feel relieved when he makes the first move to start a conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t worry so much about how you sound. Your interest in her and your willingness to take the risk of looking foolish or tongue-tied is a plus. It means you don\u2019t take yourself so seriously. This is much more impressive than a \u201csmooth talker.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Conversation skills take practice, and it\u2019s easier when you practice with someone you\u2019re not attracted to. So in social settings, practice being friendly. Make eye contact and connect with people whenever you are out and about. Smile at people in line for the movie. And whenever someone asks you a seemingly boring question like, \u201cHow are you?\u201d Like Lauren suggests in Mars Venus Dating<\/i>, practice giving them \u201cToo Much Information!\u201d For guys, just make sure after talking for a minute, that you pause and give her a chance to talk. As a rule of thumb, never talk more than she.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Watch a video <\/a>explaining how one small addition to your diet can lessen that fight or flight response and free you up to develop your ability to make small talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Relationship<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Relationship expert John Gray shares what you can do to battle your conversation anxiety. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":12210,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[885,895,900],"tags":[764,759,777,760],"class_list":["post-4920","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-men","category-meeting-people","category-dating-statistics-and-research","tag-expert","tag-hetero","tag-meeting","tag-men"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGetting Over Shyness: How to Start a Conversation!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn some helpful tips on getting over shyness and overcoming anxiety from dating and relationship expert John Gray.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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