{"id":5860,"date":"2014-08-28T15:10:59","date_gmt":"2014-08-28T22:10:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/about.zoosk.com\/en\/?p=5860"},"modified":"2021-06-01T00:23:25","modified_gmt":"2021-06-01T07:23:25","slug":"he-wont-travel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/relationship-problems\/he-wont-travel\/","title":{"rendered":"He Won&#8217;t Travel with Me: What&#8217;s the Deal?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Dear <em>Joan Actually<\/em>,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Every time I want to go on vacation with my boyfriend, he comes up with some excuse not to go. We&#8217;ve been dating for a couple months&nbsp;so it&#8217;s not like this should be a big deal. Anyways, last time I planned something he said he couldn&#8217;t take any more time off since he was going with his friends on some fishing trip. I&#8217;m getting annoyed because this seems weird, and I don&#8217;t think I can do anything about it. I&#8217;ve told him that it will be relaxing and I&#8217;ll handle the planning, but he&nbsp;seems meh about it. I can&#8217;t decide if it&#8217;s a money thing or if he&#8217;s just not into me. Saying he doesn&#8217;t have time off from work seems like a cop out.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/dating.zoosk.com\/en-us\/us\/md\/prince-georges-county\/bowie\/singles.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>-Bowie, MD<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I can think of a few reasons why your boyfriend might not be feeling gung ho about going on vacation.&nbsp;Firstly, consider the timing. Taking&nbsp;an extended vacation two months into a relationship is&nbsp;moving fast\u2014about three times&nbsp;faster&nbsp;than the average couple.&nbsp;&nbsp;I wouldn&#8217;t take his slower pace personally;&nbsp;spending all day, every day with someone\u2014even your special someone\u2014for a week or more in the beginning of a relationship&nbsp;can&nbsp;put a lot of pressure on a new couple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left wp-block-paragraph\">Additionally, the general logistics surrounding an extended vacation make it difficult to give the go ahead. Most work places offer two weeks&#8217; paid vacation. If he needs to travel home for the holidays, he&#8217;s going to burn through a lot&nbsp;of it. Other&nbsp;obligations that predated you, such as the fishing trip, will take over the rest. Lastly, vacations are expensive; flights, hotels, and food can add up quickly. He might be on a budget or saving up for something else. Either way, the vacation talk could force&nbsp;a&nbsp;conversation about financials&nbsp;before they&#8217;re appropriate to discuss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To avoid the aforementioned issues, I suggest starting small and removing the pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here&#8217;s what that looks like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>I would love to visit [enter destination] with you over the three-day weekend. If you don&#8217;t think you can make it, I&#8217;ll schedule a ladies&#8217; trip instead.<\/li><li>If you&#8217;re interested in a mini-road trip,&nbsp;we could&nbsp;leave Saturday morning, see the concert Saturday night, and return Sunday. You&#8217;re my first choice, but I can take a friend if you&#8217;re not up for it.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Once you&#8217;ve extended the&nbsp;invite, stop bringing it up; no one likes to be pushed into things. Having to convince your bf&nbsp;to do fun things with you isn&#8217;t going to do much for your self-esteem, and you&#8217;ll end up building resentment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you&#8217;re still hearing excuses after&nbsp;scaling back, you should consider whether or not your boyfriend shares your desire to skip town.&nbsp;He may just be more of a homebody, in which case, you should think about whether or not&nbsp;that personality suits you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to ask him to go on vacation with you without pressuring him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":12159,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[898],"tags":[759,768,783,779,589],"class_list":["post-5860","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-problems","tag-hetero","tag-joanactually","tag-problems","tag-stages","tag-women"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>He Won&#039;t Travel with Me: What&#039;s the Deal?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What you need to know if your significant other won&#039;t travel with you.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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