{"id":5930,"date":"2014-09-03T10:07:37","date_gmt":"2014-09-03T17:07:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/about.zoosk.com\/en\/?p=5930"},"modified":"2021-06-01T00:23:18","modified_gmt":"2021-06-01T07:23:18","slug":"advice-new-girlfriend-is-a-flirt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/dating-advice\/dating-advice-men\/advice-new-girlfriend-is-a-flirt\/","title":{"rendered":"My New Girlfriend Is a Flirt: What Do I Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dear Joan Actually,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve been seeing her a few weeks and it’s going well. Last week, I took her to a friend\u2019s barbeque. After a few beers, she started flirting with all my friends. I don’t know if it was just the beers, or if it was her. She was getting a little too close with my buddies. While she was talking, I saw her getting touchy feely. It sucks. My friends have been ribbing me about how my girlfriend is a flirt. How do I bring it up? What do I say to her? I’m worried I might be dating someone who’s looking around for a better option. I don\u2019t want to sound like a jealous dude, but I hate it when she acts like this.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Maui, HI<\/em>
\n<\/a>
\nIf this was an isolated incident, I would say let it go. It’s not uncommon for someone to act a little “off” around groups of new people. Perhaps the beers decided to direct the behavior or, maybe, she felt nervous and overcompensated with extra friendliness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if the \u201cflirty behavior\u201d has happened more than once, it’s worth addressing, especially if you want to pursue a relationship with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before you bring it up, let\u2019s go over some DO NOTs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DO NOT mention your friends\u2019 reaction to the flirting. She\u2019ll act weird around them FOREVER.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DO NOT accuse her of flirting with your friends. She might consider her behavior friendly, not flirtatious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DO NOT tell her to act a certain way or behave differently. You\u2019ll sound controlling and insecure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DO NOT give an ultimatum. \u201cStop smiling at my friends in a sexy way, or else!\u201d You\u2019ll sound inflexible and slightly aggressive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A better approach will address your feelings, not her behavior. Here’s an example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt made me feel a little jealous when you were touching Rob\u2019s shoulders. I\u2019m still getting to know you, and I\u2019m not used to feeling like this. I\u2019m hoping you could help me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This response works because it doesn\u2019t fault her for acting a certain way; instead, it encourages her to be more mindful of your feelings and realize how the way she acts affects your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she doesn\u2019t make an effort to make you feel more comfortable, she\u2019s not the girl for you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The best way to approach your girlfriend if you find her flirting with your friends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":12157,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[885,974,898],"tags":[759,768,760,783],"class_list":["post-5930","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-men","category-flirting","category-relationship-problems","tag-hetero","tag-joanactually","tag-men","tag-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nNew Girlfriend Started Flirting with Friends: What Do I Do?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Tips from an expert on how to encourage your girlfriend to stop flirting with your friends without being controlling.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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