{"id":7146,"date":"2015-12-21T09:28:41","date_gmt":"2015-12-21T17:28:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/about.zoosk.com\/en\/?p=7146"},"modified":"2021-05-31T23:41:04","modified_gmt":"2021-06-01T06:41:04","slug":"9-tips-surviving-the-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/relationship-advice\/healthy-relationships\/9-tips-surviving-the-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"9 Tips for Surviving the Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Meeting your significant other\u2019s family is nerve-wracking enough. Throw Christmas into the mix, and you\u2019re dealing with a new level of stress. Follow these simple guidelines about surviving the holidays from Toronto psychotherapist and relationship advisor, Nicole McCance.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #1: Don\u2019t Come Empty-Handed<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s always polite to bring an offering when you\u2019re a dinner guest, but when it comes to your SO\u2019s family, it should be a rule. Keep it simple. \u201cBring wine, dessert, flowers,\u201d Nicole recommends. \u201cBring something, even if they say you don\u2019t need to bring anything. First impressions are lasting and you want them to remember that you are thoughtful.\u201d Want to go the extra step? Ask your SO about any allergies (food and flower). Intel on the front end will help you skip some otherwise embarrassing moments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #2: Ask Your SO About Sleeping Arrangements<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of assuming that you\u2019ll be sleeping together, ask your SO about sleeping arrangements ahead of time. Parents are not dumb. They know you\u2019ve probably shared a bed at some point, but parents are still protective of their kids and they might have their own ideas about sharing a bedroom before marriage. \u201cIf they say they want you in separate rooms, then respect that–their house, their rules,\u201d says Nicole. If you really can\u2019t stand to be away from your SO for a couple of nights, you could always get a hotel room but the \u2018rents might be offended. Weigh the hotel option carefully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #3: Don\u2019t Go Full-On PDA<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, you like to express your affection for your SO, but do you really need to play tonsil hockey in front of Aunt Bertha? No. \u201cIt\u2019s important to be yourself, so if you’re an affection person then hand holding is fine,\u201d Nicole says. \u201cBut, keep it to a minimum. Save the kissing and cuddling for home. You should be busy engaging with the family.\u201d You’ll have plenty of time after the holidays to get cozy again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #4: Pitch In<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use every opportunity to make yourself useful. \u201cIt\u2019s always a good idea to ask if the cook needs help in the kitchen,\u201d Nicole says. \u201cBeing proactive will help you make a good first impression and calm your nerves.\u201d If your forte isn\u2019t cooking, pitch in somewhere else. Offering to help out conveys appreciation and will help you score points with mom and dad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #5: Adapt to Their Schedule<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You like hot showers that last for days and sleeping in until noon. Great. But, when you\u2019re staying at someone else\u2019s place, you have to give a little in order to get a lot (which, in this case, is the respect of your SO\u2019s family). \u201cThere is a balance between being yourself and investing in these new relationships,\u201d Nicole says.  \u201cIt\u2019s important to change up your routine if you have to. If everyone else is up early, get up early too. Go with the flow, you can get back into your routine once you get home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #6: Take a Breather<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re feeling overwhelmed by the tree-trimming antics and the awkward conversations with people you don\u2019t know, you owe it to yourself \u2013 and to your hosts \u2013 to take a short break. \u201cIt\u2019s okay to go to your room and take a breather,\u201d says Nicole. \u201cIf you are spending the night and have your own room, it\u2019s okay to close the door and relax on the bed for five minutes. Text a friend for support. Taking these mini breaks every few hours will help keep you pleasant and energized.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #7: Don\u2019t Get Drunk<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sure, a couple shots of spiked egg nog might calm your nerves, but you don\u2019t want things to get messy. \u201cKeep it to a two-drink minimum unless you are socializing with drinkers and they offer you more,\u201d Nicole suggests. \u201cTry not to drink more then everyone else. Pace yourself.\u201d Know your limits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #8: Set Boundaries<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously, your SO\u2019s family will ask you all sorts of questions, some of which can get mighty personal. \u201cIt\u2019s good to be open and transparent within reason,\u201d Nicole says \u201cThe more open you are, the more open they will be with you.\u201d Open dialogue is generally a good thing, but some folks can be pushy and downright nosy. \u201cIf you get asked a question you don\u2019t want to answer, try turning your answer into a question,\u201d Nicole suggests. \u201cThis is less obvious then it seems. People typically love speaking about themselves, so they will likely do just that instead of focusing on you.\u201d Don\u2019t be afraid to activate your backbone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #9: Don\u2019t Get Involved with Family Squabbles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every family has its drama. Since you\u2019re the newbie, you shouldn\u2019t butt in and assert your opinion, or even attempt to reconcile the family because, honestly, it\u2019s not your place. \u201cIf there happens to be a heated argument between your significant other and his or her family, try to nonchalantly sneak away,\u201d Nicole says. \u201cMake yourself scarce. This way your SO won\u2019t feel embarrassed for losing their cool in front of you.\u201d And when everyone has cooled off, show your support for your partner privately: \u201cGive them a hug. Let them know that it is normal to be triggered by family and that you understand. Engage in something fun or relaxing if you can. It\u2019s the holidays after all. The faster you let it go the faster you can enjoy your much-deserved holiday.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Before you meet the parents there are a few things you should really think about. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":61,"featured_media":12133,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[894],"tags":[764,796,760,588,589],"class_list":["post-7146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healthy-relationships","tag-expert","tag-healthy","tag-men","tag-winter","tag-women"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n9 Tips for Surviving the Holidays<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Meeting your significant other\u2019s family is nerve-wracking enough without having to worry about surviving the holidays. 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