{"id":9620,"date":"2016-05-11T01:00:29","date_gmt":"2016-05-11T08:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/about.zoosk.com\/en\/?p=9620"},"modified":"2023-11-10T15:01:25","modified_gmt":"2023-11-10T23:01:25","slug":"online-dating-first-message-tips-message-guide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating-tips\/online-dating-first-message-tips-message-guide\/","title":{"rendered":"Online Dating First Message Tips: Opening Lines that Work"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I\u2019ll just come right out and say it: Most first messages on online dating sites are terrible. They\u2019re lame, impersonal and just make you feel, well, kind of icky. The immediate thought is <em>Oh, he<\/em> <em>must say this to everyone<\/em> or <em>Great, she didn\u2019t even read my profile.<\/em> I don\u2019t know who invented pickup lines and publicized the notion that they\u2019re a catalyst to romance, but I wish we could all recognize there are better places to start that aren\u2019t thinly-veiled catcalls. Nobody likes being fed a line, period. So I came up with some&nbsp;online dating first message tips that can help you get more responses and get that much closer to meeting someone special.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Online dating can make you feel&nbsp;vulnerable. You\u2019re putting yourself out there and inviting people to pass judgment on your hobbies, interests, and looks. So when you get a message that disregards the special things that make you&nbsp;who you are, it makes you feel disrespected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I get it, though. If you rely on pickup lines, I kind of see where you\u2019re coming from, and there\u2019s a chance that you mean well. It\u2019s easy to succumb to the pressure of pickup lines, because they\u2019re just that\u2014easy. We see the \u201ccool\u201d guys effortlessly use pickup lines in movies, to great success. We read listicles about the funniest and most clever and most sure-fire things to say when you want to ask someone out. But in reality, no matter how winning a line seems or how many times you\u2019ve practiced it, the line usually falls short. The good news is there are better ways to go about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m suggesting we say \u201cno\u201d to pickup lines and \u201cyes\u201d to opening lines. There\u2014that already sounds a little friendlier. If you want to make the first move or send the first message while online dating, more power to you. But don\u2019t panic and fall back on a cheesy pickup line, or you run the risk of coming off as demeaning and predatory. Instead, let\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/opening-lines\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/opening-lines\/\">explore opening lines<\/a> that will actually get you somewhere. These work especially well for online dating. These are specific to me, so adjust accordingly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cHi, I\u2019m ____.\u201d<\/strong><br>\nIt\u2019s mind-blowingly simple advice, but oh-so effective: Just say hi. The most overlooked word in the online dating world is <em>hi<\/em>. There\u2019s some merit behind Jerry Maguire\u2019s \u201cYou had me at hello\u201d\u2014sometimes \u201chi\u201d is the perfect thing to say. Simple? Yes. Effective? Absolutely. A polite introduction goes a long way and echoes something you would actually say in real life, demonstrating that you have good manners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cI\u2019ve visited St. Louis before, I almost went to WashU for grad school.\u201d<\/strong><br>\nDon\u2019t you hate it when somebody messages you and asks, \u201cSo, where are you from?\u201d or \u201cWhat do you like to do for fun?\u201d It makes you feel like they skipped the profile and just messaged you as part of their numbers game. I can\u2019t stress this enough\u2014actually read their profile! Commenting on something he or she wrote in their profile shows that you actually took the time to read what they wrote.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, don\u2019t push your luck and try to be cute. \u201cI\u2019ve visited St. Louis before, I almost went to WashU for grad school. Maybe you can show me the city some day.\u201d This is an opening line turned pickup line. There\u2019s no need to add the second part\u2014it reads as overly cocky and confident, and negates the good of the first part of the sentence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cWhat did the fish say when he swam into a wall? DAM!\u201d<\/strong><br>\nAnother online dating first message tip is to break the ice with a (clean) joke. It can work wonders for clearing up any awkwardness you might feel during the first few messages. It\u2019s not, however, an excuse to infuse the conversation with sexual innuendo. A joke could technically be classified as a pickup line, but I think as long as you tell it with good intentions, you\u2019re in the clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cYou look great in hats.\u201d<\/strong><br>\nI can\u2019t tell you how thrilled I would be to receive this message from a potential match. It\u2019s more specific than the expected \u201cYou have nice eyes\u201d go-to compliment. The person might genuinely have great eyes, but try giving a compliment that\u2019s a little quirkier and tailored to what they show in their photos. It will show that you actually absorbed information and remembered the details of what they presented to you in their profile. It also serves as a conversation starter\u2014for example, if the person was wearing a baseball cap, you could ask if they\u2019re a fan of the sports team on the front.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u201cHey, your profile caught my eye. I think we have a lot in common. Do you want to meet for a drink tomorrow and see if we hit it off?\u201d<\/strong><br>\nThe formality of the initial message exchange can be a little slow at times. If you\u2019re genuinely interested in pursuing someone, why beat around the bush? Instead of exchanging polite banter back and forth, sometimes it\u2019s just better to go for it in person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, it\u2019s time for you to try these online dating first message tips&nbsp;for yourself! Remember, it\u2019s not just what you say\u2014it\u2019s also how you say it. Pickup lines are intended to give you confidence, whereas opening lines have confidence\u2014and respect\u2014baked in. And the simpler, the better. Ask yourself, <em>Would I say this to somebody\u2019s face?<\/em> Or <em>Is this how I want our \u201chow we met\u201d story to go?<\/em> If your first message&nbsp;comes from a top 10 list or it\u2019s something your friend \u201cswears by,\u201d chances are it\u2019s a pickup line that will fall flat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Find out why opening lines are better than pickup lines. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":79,"featured_media":12841,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[889,980],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9620","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-online-dating-first-message","category-online-dating-tips"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Online Dating First Message Tips: Opening Lines that Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You only have one chance to make a good first impression while online dating\u2014so make it count. Get online dating first message tips that will help you.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/online-dating-first-message\/online-dating-first-message-tips-message-guide\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Online Dating First Message Tips: Opening Lines that Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You only have one chance to make a good first impression while online dating\u2014so make it count. Get online dating first message tips that will help you.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/online-dating\/online-dating-first-message\/online-dating-first-message-tips-message-guide\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Date Mix\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zoosk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-05-11T08:00:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-11-10T23:01:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dq1eylutsoz4u.cloudfront.net\/2016\/05\/11094343\/online-dating-first-message-tips.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Elizabeth Entenman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/elizabenten\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Zoosk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Elizabeth Entenman\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Online Dating First Message Tips: Opening Lines that Work","description":"You only have one chance to make a good first impression while online dating\u2014so make it count. 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Based in Brooklyn, she's written about a variety of topics related to online dating, love, single life, and relationships. In her spare time, you'll likely find her somewhere Instagramming her dogs! You can find some of her other work at EliteSingles and SilverSingles. Elizabeth has been working with Zoosk to create engaging content to help online daters make meaningful connections and find lasting relationships.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.elizabethentenman.com\/","https:\/\/x.com\/https:\/\/twitter.com\/elizabenten"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/author\/eentenman\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9620","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/79"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9620"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9620\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12841"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zoosk.com\/date-mix\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}