There\u2019s a lot of dating advice floating around the universe. Some of it\u2019s good, some of it\u2019s bad\u2014and most of it\u2019s downright confusing. Ask anyone for dating advice and no two responses will be the same. Perform a simple Google search for \u201cdating advice\u201d and you\u2019ll be hit with tens of thousands of results. How are you supposed to filter through so many conflicting opinions and find what works best for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll let you in on a secret: most dating advice out there is no good. It\u2019s good for someone, but probably doesn\u2019t apply to you, because dating advice is 100% subjective. One man\u2019s hard and fast rule (wait three days after a date to call her) is another man\u2019s M.O. (if you have a great connection, why wait to make contact?). In reality, there\u2019s very little dating advice that universally applies to everyone; it would be impossible to be that inclusive. For the most part, dating advice is just a series of tips based on personal triumphs and failures, repackaged into bite-sized lessons.: \u201cAlways be fashionably late,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ll never find true love at a bar,\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t date a guy with a cat\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These personal stories are certainly helpful to hear, but they\u2019re just that\u2014personal stories. What works for one person won\u2019t necessarily work for you. Just because your friend asked a guy out and he said \u201cno\u201d doesn\u2019t mean you should wait around for men to approach you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Personally, I find most dating advice to be far too extreme. It\u2019s typically framed with absolute statements that start with \u201calways\u201d or \u201cnever\u201d or \u201cdon\u2019t.\u201d How limiting is that? Following dating advice too closely defeats the purpose of dating entirely. If you practiced every piece of dating advice you heard, you\u2019d never get anywhere; your brain and your heart would be confused, and you\u2019d never let anyone in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All of that said, I\u2019ve done it. I\u2019ve found the solution. I\u2019ve discovered the single best piece of dating advice in the history of the universe, and I\u2019m going to share it with you. It applies to everyone, and it works in every situation. This advice even transcends dating, and can be applied to other aspects of your life: work, friendships, you name it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Drumroll, please, and prepare for your life to change: If somebody isn\u2019t interested in the you-est version of YOU, then you don\u2019t want to date them in the first place.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s simple advice, but it\u2019s also incredibly practical. Why would you want to waste your time with someone who doesn\u2019t value the things that make you, you? And yet, in reality, it can be a difficult concept to accept and practice. It\u2019s reliant on a certain amount of self-trust. It requires the confidence to say to yourself, I\u2019m okay with being alone right now if it means I\u2019m open to meeting a better match in the future<\/em>. Those convictions don\u2019t just happen overnight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A popular piece of dating advice is \u201c just be yourself.\u201d I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, but I don\u2019t think it\u2019s enough to simply say, \u201c just be yourself.\u201d It\u2019s important to understand why<\/em> you should insist on being yourself. To understand that those small quirks and traits and behaviors that define what \u201cyourself\u201d means are the things that someone will value and love about you. That if someone doesn\u2019t mesh with your vibe, it\u2019s okay to not pursue things further. That there\u2019s someone who will appreciate you, and that you deserve to meet them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not suggesting you totally let yourself go, wear sweatpants on the first date and grow furious with anyone who doesn\u2019t immediately recognize and praise your awesomeness. There are certain fronts we put up around new people, which is understandable. For example, when I\u2019m getting to know someone I\u2019m extra polite, I avoid crude language, and I try to be more flexible than normal. Things like that will reveal themselves in time, and it\u2019s that transition into your truer self you want your partner to accept and cherish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Saying \u201cno\u201d isn\u2019t easy. If you had a connection with someone, why not pursue it and see where it goes? By all means, please do. But the moment you hear that voice in the back of your head that says, This is going alright, but I\u2019m not sure this person really gets ME<\/em>, it might be time to respectfully bow out and set your sights on someone you mesh better with on the little things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This dating advice applies to more scenarios than just dating. Say you landed an interview for a job you\u2019re really excited about, but halfway through the interview the chemistry feels off. They\u2019re questioning your abilities too closely and don\u2019t seem impressed with your achievements. Instead of pining after a company that doesn\u2019t recognize your value, take a step back. If they don\u2019t like what you consider your best work, you won\u2019t be happy at this job, regardless of how great the company is on paper. It\u2019s better to politely withdraw from the running after the interview and focus your efforts on finding something that\u2019s a mutual good fit for both parties. In the end, you\u2019ll both be happier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you have a tendency to get down on yourself when something doesn\u2019t work out, don\u2019t fret. The more you learn to say \u201cno\u201d to the wrong people and \u201cyes\u201d to the right people, your relationship radar will become more finely-tuned and you\u2019ll channel your energy into relationships you\u2019re truly passionate about\u2014be they romantic, friendly or professional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If somebody isn\u2019t interested in the you-est version of YOU, you don\u2019t want to date them in the first place.<\/em> I hope you find this advice helpful. I hope it encourages you to consider what YOU want from a relationship and pushes you to put your needs on a modestly-sized pedestal. I hope it empowers you to stick by your convictions and gives you the courage to not only think, but also believe, \u201cIt’s not there for me, and I feel confident about meeting someone better.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One woman shares some of the best dating (and life) advice she ever received. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":79,"featured_media":11859,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[884],"tags":[160],"class_list":["post-9917","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice","tag-dating"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n