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5 Ways to Make a Textationship Work

A girl texting on her phone with the guy she's dating and laughing.

Yes, you’ve read the headline correctly, a textationships is a romantic or intimate relationship between two people where text messaging is utilized as the primary form of communication. Relationships such as these are largely looked at in a negative light, but I want to explain to you why they shouldn’t be.

Even though texting often gets a bad rap when it comes to developing a connection with someone, it can be a wonderful relationship building tool. It’s great for flirting and it also allows you to talk throughout the day with someone you’re interested in. This is key since continuous communication helps spark chemistry and foster intimacy.

While texting shouldn’t be your sole form of communication, your relationship can still flourish with it being your primary one. Here’s how to make it work:

1. Make sure you’re on the same page.
Admittedly, I’m not very fond of talking on the phone. I prefer texting. Because of this, I’m very proactive in communicating this to the people I meet. I also understand that not everyone is the same way. I’m fine with that, since it allows me to connect with people who are similar to me. By being up front early on, I’ve been able to develop deep connections to people using texting as our primary form of communication.

2. Be consistent with your responses.
If you develop rapport via text with someone, keep it going. Once there seems to be a rhythm and an open ended conversation brewing, stay consistent. Don’t ghost or have extended periods of silence without letting the other party know you’re going to be less-responsive for a bit.

3. Make time to actually talk.
Even though texting is great, you do need to actually, well, talk. My preferred method is FaceTime. I’m very visual and being able to look at the person I’m talking to makes all the difference to me. It also stops me from getting distracted since I am forced to focus on what’s directly in front of me. However, everyone isn’t comfortable with Facetime, so find out what works for you and the person you’re seeing. Whether it’s through a phone call, Facetime, or in person meetings, make sure you consistently take the conversation beyond your inbox.

4. Talk through all important conversations, (No typing allowed.)
Texting, while convenient and good for consistent communication, isn’t ideal when discussing important topics. While texting you’re unable to account for tone and intention, and people can misinterpret things or get confused. Make it a point to talk through not “type through” your most intimate moments.  

5. Spend time together.
There’s no substitution for quality time. It’s impossible to accurately learn about someone exclusively through text. So make consistent plans to spend time getting to know each other in person.

This approach may seem unconventional to some, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be effective. There are many tools at our disposal to help us develop and cultivate relationships, and texting is one of them. When used responsibly and effectively our inboxes can spark long lasting and fun loving connections.

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