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Why Men Love Women with an Attitude

A strong woman with attitude putting her lipstick on in the car.

Many women think they need to actively do something to show a man why he should be attracted to them. They might show him what a great cook they are by making him dinner or dress extra nice for a date. And while these are great, nice things to do for a man, they won’t make him interested and attracted to you in a way that’s genuine and real.

So what does?

The truth is, the women who men find irresistible have certain attitudes that draw men’s attention and make them want more. You can think of these attitudes as what you say to a man without saying a word. Your internal emotions, your body language, and your tone of voice all communicate your attitude at a deep level—an attitude that lets a man know you’re independent, you’re confident, and that you don’t depend on him to make you happy.

I’m pretty passionate about this, because I grew up in a family of women and hated watching these otherwise capable, strong, and smart women allow some dude to control their emotions. That’s why I’ve made it my mission to help women recognize their inner power to attract men.

With that in mind, here are three attitudes that are irresistible to a man:

Irresistible Attitude #1: “I don’t let a man determine what I have in my love life.”

This kind of woman won’t settle for a man who isn’t giving her what she emotionally wants and needs. Men respect this, and they either become inspired to be with you or turn the other way if they aren’t ready to give you what you want.

How do you embody this? By taking stock of what you really need in a relationship and then sticking up for it. For instance, say you’re ready for an exclusive relationship. Simply tell him, “You have every right to date other women, but I’m looking for exclusivity. It’s what feels right for me.” This is a lot different from issuing a man an ultimatum. It tells him that this is what you need, independent of him, and that you’re not looking for him to make something happen. Instead, you’re stating what you are looking for—with or without him.

Irresistible Attitude #2: “I’ll leave a man before I allow unacceptable behavior.”

This woman won’t stay in a relationship that’s abusive, degrading, or morally questionable. She also won’t put up with bad behavior from a man. Integrity and trust are important to her, and she lets him know that.

The cornerstone of this attitude is healthy self-esteem. In a relationship, the first person you need to take care of is yourself. Know your boundaries so that you can recognize when someone crosses them, and let a man know when something isn’t acceptable to you.

Irresistible Attitude #3: “I’m secure enough to let my man do his own thing—even if it’s without me.”

This woman doesn’t freak out when her man wants to make plans with his buddies or if he announces that he wants to take up a new hobby that might not include her. She understands that the more she tries to restrict him, the less he’s going to feel open, free, and empowered when he’s with her. She respects his need to pursue his goals and dreams.

A smart woman gives a man the space he needs to be himself. She recognizes that when each person in a relationship nourishes his or her particular passions, that the relationship becomes more interesting and passionate.

When you embody these irresistible attitudes, a man is much less likely to get weird on you when you let him know how you’re feeling. These attitudes tell him that you’re the kind of woman who has a strong sense of what she needs and that you’re not looking to him to make you happy. Taking responsibility for your own happiness is infinitely attractive to a man.

Christian Carter is the author of the e-book Catch Him & Keep Him. To learn specific ways to create an emotional attraction that keeps a man engaged for the long-term, subscribe to Christian Carter’s email newsletter at his site

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