How To Relax Before A Date: Calming Your Pre-Date Jitters

A woman who is making a nervous face because she's about to go on a first date.

Being nervous before a date is totally normal! This is especially the case if it’s a first date. You’re not sure how it’s going to go, if the chatter will outweigh the awkward silences, and, of course, you’ll wonder if maybe this person is the “one.”  Before you actually show up for your date, you need to get yourself calm, cool, and collected. You need to nip those nerves in the bud, embrace your confidence, and bring your A game. It’s cute to be a little nervous, but being relaxed will make both you and your date feel a lot more at ease.

1. Plan ahead. You do not want to be running around at the last minute trying to figure out what you’re going to wear, how you’re going to style your hair, or anything of the like. Leaving that to right before your date will just add anxiety to your nerves and you’ll be a hot mess. If you can, plan what you’ll wear and how you’ll look a day or two in advance.

2. Come up with conversation topics beforehand. Fearing silence or running out of things to say is a totally reasonable fear. Instead of letting it eat you up inside, make a mental note ahead of time of things to talk about or interesting personal anecdotes that will keep the conversation flowing and fun. If you have a list in your brain that you can draw from, you’ll feel more at peace.

3. Have a friend give you a pep talk. Your friends love you. Not because they have to, like your family, but because they want to. Since these amazing people only want the best in you and can see all the good in you that you sometimes overlook, have a friend give you a healthy pep talk about how much you have to offer and how anyone would be lucky to have you. That will give you the boost of confidence you’re looking for.

4. Remind yourself that your date is probably nervous, too. Very few people can go into a date, especially a first date, without some sort of nervousness. If you remind yourself of that, you’ll feel better knowing you’re both in the same boat. You can even commiserate over it: “I was kinda nervous about tonight.” “Really? Me too!”

5. Realize you can’t control everything. So, maybe the restaurant will be bad, the conversation will be dull, and your date will be anything but stellar ― so what? You can’t control everything and once you really understand that a lot of the evening is out of your hands, it’s easier to shrug off the nerves, play it cool, and relax.

Amanda Chatel

Freelance Writer

Amanda is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She’s a regular contributor to Glamour, Bolde, Livingly, and Mic. Other bylines include: Harper’s Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Huffington Post, The Frisky, and BlackBook. Her greatest dream is to win a cheesecake eating contest while holding a baby panda.

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