Being hopeless is the opposite of romantic, unless you’re a hopeless romantic. Hopeless romanticism is all about optimism for passion, connection, and love, which in dating is a good thing.
Over the past few decades, identifying as a hopeless romantic wasn’t ideal, but the view is changing. This begs the question—why? We spoke to six relationship experts to get their take on the comeback of hopeless romantics. Let’s take a look.
“A hopeless romantic has an undeniable belief that humans are instinctively lovers. They have a sensitive spirit and crave affection. They enter every relationship with devotion and love. The relationship is the center of their world, so they do everything to please their partner, and expect the same treatment in return. With so much negativity in the world, dating a sensitive person can come as a breath of fresh air.”—Mayla Green, Sex and Relationship Expert
“Being a hopeless romantic means you believe in a higher standard of love and relationships. You aren’t ready to settle for a mediocre relationship. You know what you want and deserve the whole package. You follow your heart, no matter what. You know a higher class of love exists. That said, we are disconnected in many ways. Our romantic relationships have to fit around our busy schedules. Hopeless romantics bring us back to a deeper connection. In a hectic world, hopeless romantics seek to create meaningful connections with their loved ones.”—Mariah Green, Relationship Expert
“Being a hopeless romantic means you see the value of romance in relationships. This virtue should be important to all young couples. The longer you’re with someone, the harder it becomes to maintain that romantic flame. Throw a couple of kids into the mix, and it’s almost impossible. People are getting fed up with the inauthenticity of social media. This is making people search for partners who are authentic, kind, and prepared to be vulnerable. If a new date is willing to show their hopeless romantic side, they are a keeper!”—Penelope Gordon, Women’s Empowerment Coach and Hypnotherapist
“Being a hopeless romantic today means rejecting cynicism in your love life. You might be on dating apps, but really, you’re still waiting for your meet-cute. On apps, you take swipes seriously, treating each person as a person, not a stack of cards. You put time and thought into your messages and open yourself up. People are also waking up to the fact that dating apps don’t always foster genuine connections. Instead, they commoditize dating. As such, the popularity of hopeless romantics is increasing.”—Tom Ella,Host of The Undesirables Dating Podcast
“To be a hopeless romantic means that no matter how many times love kicks your ass, you know who you’re looking for is out there. It’s just a matter of time before you meet your match. I don’t know if being a hopeless romantic ever went out of style. People want to believe that there is such a thing as a hopeless romantic. It’s why we want to see silver screen lovers walking off into the sunset together. It’s a longing that many, if not all of us, have. We believe in love, and the hopeless kind is simply magical.”—Dr. Debra A. Nixon, Licensed Family Therapist
“Hopeless romantics are individuals who have a more classic view of relationships. Being sensitive, not playing games, and committing emotionally associated with hopeless romantics. They feel very out of place in today’s dating culture of apps, random hookups, and emotional game playing. Most individuals aren’t hopeless romantics. That does mean that they are much easier to spot, especially as their preferences run against current dating trends.”—Adina Mahalli, Certified Relationship Expert and Mental Health Consultant
Beyond the sweet gestures and meaningful connections, hopeless romantics split opinion. They’re either going to make your heart swoon or your stomach turn. IBut let’s be honest, in today’s dating scene, things move fast—too fast. A little hope couldn’t hurt.