How to Write a Love Letter

A picture of a love letter for those who want to know how to write a love letter.

When it comes to declarations of love, romantics have all but abandoned the ancient art of the love letter in favor of faster media like calls, texts, and even Snapchat. It’s time to bring it back. In 2018, a love letter is still a beautiful romantic gesture, and you don’t need to be Frida Kahlo or John Keats to know how to write a love letter well. It’s hard, but it’s worth it, and you’re partner will appreciate you for it.

Here are some quick writing tips to help you create a love letter that will make your partner swoon.

1. Make it look nice.
When it comes to love letters, the medium is the message. Make sure to pick either cardstock, a nice postcard, or another type of high quality paper. This will add to the giftlike quality of receiving the letter.

Also, writing by hand is a must. Much of a love letter’s allure comes from its intimate and personal nature, so don’t ruin it with 12-point Times New Roman. If penmanship isn’t your strong suit, it’s okay if it’s not perfect. It’s more personal that way anyway. Your partner will appreciate the effort.

2. Write an outline.
Next, you’ll want to write a rough outline. This will function as your roadmap. With this if you get lost in your writing, you won’t be in danger of forgetting an idea. The outline can be as simple as three bullet points, as long as it helps you organize your ideas.

3. Just start.
Most of us don’t write regularly and don’t think highly of our writing when we do. The thought of writing something as personal as a love letter can be daunting. Remember you’re not Ernest Hemingway or Virginia Woolf, and your partner never asked you to be. The best way to get over start anxiety is to, well, start. Remind yourself that you can always revise later. That’ll ease the pressure..

4. Share from the heart.
Now for the writing part. Open your heart to your partner and let them how they make you feel. Remind them that you love and care for them, even if you’ve said it many times before. Reaffirm your bond. Most importantly, be honest. The strength of a love letter comes from its authenticity and your ability to share from the heart. It takes courage to open yourself up in writing, but this vulnerability is the X factor that makes a love letter good.

5. List the qualities you love about them.
You’re at your desk writing a romantic letter to your partner. What are the things you love about them that got you to this point in the first place? Acknowledge them for their constant support or the way they take care of the laundry when you’re tired. Even if you’ve complimented your partner many times before for each of their qualities, a reminder is always welcome.

6. Reminisce on a shared moment.
Did you fall in love on the first date or did you have to come around to the idea of a long-term partner? In your letter, reflect on the moment you knew your partner was someone special. Chances are that moment is special to them too. Romance is built on passion and commitment, and part of that foundation of commitment comes from a shared history. Evoking your love story will help your letter have more of an impact..

7. Express gratitude for their partnership.
Nobody is perfect and no relationship is easy. Thank them for accompanying you on the journey and thank them for their commitment. Reaffirming your bond is one of the most important parts of writing a love letter.

8. Draft and redraft.
You don’t have to be perfect, but do your best. Take a few tries to type out the letter or write it on practice paper. Writing out drafts is a good way to get a feel for the flow of the letter and better understand the feelings you’re trying to get across. It also eases the pressure that the first attempt has to be perfect. You can always scrap it and rewrite later. When you’re ready, put the pen to paper.

A love letter is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give someone. While you may say your daily quota of I love you’s, a letter gives you time to slow down and compose your feelings into a coherent message that reaffirms your feelings to your partner and yourself. Sometimes all it takes is some slowing down to remember there’s beauty right in front of us, and sometimes that slowing down is the best gift we can give.

Alex Bocknek

Alex Bocknek is the senior editor of The Date Mix and works at Zoosk, the online dating service. He’s also a recovering music critic and an aspiring fiction writer (probably lost) on the way to an independent bookstore near you. He can be found occasionally musing about politics, philosophy, and love in the modern world.

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