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Over the Torture? 5 Tips for Getting Over a Crush

A woman getting over a crush, reading her journal in a field.

Having a crush can be one of the best feelings in the world. But if the other person doesn’t return your feelings, sometimes it can feel like the worst. Trust me, I know. There are few things more tortuous than knowing you’re crushing on someone you can’t be with. Whether it’s because they’re seeing someone else or they just don’t like you the way you like them, it’s hard to accept that they don’t see you in the same light.

Moving forward can often seem impossible, but here’s the secret… it isn’t. It takes work, but you’ve got this. Here are some tips to help you get over a crush and move on:

Realize you are doing what’s best.
You’ve likely been putting your crush on a pedestal. Now that you’re ready to move on, start to take a deeper look at the person you’re infatuated with. Maybe this person has many wonderful qualities about them, but sometimes we can become blinded by those things and can forget to take the time to realize that they aren’t as good for us as we have dreamed them up to be. You deserve someone who’s into you as much as you’re into them. Remember that.

Talk it out.
Talk to someone close to you about what you’re feeling because bottling up what hurts will only hurt you more in the end. Get it all out. What’s going through your head now? What is the hardest part of moving on? What will you miss about your crush? What are some fond memories the two of you shared? Sharing the positive and negative feelings you have with someone who knows you best is healthy and the person you’re confiding in can help you understand that, albeit hard, this is best for you.

Find distractions for yourself.
It’s completely normal to want to spend your days dwelling on what could have been, but try not to let it be all consuming. A good rule of thumb I like to follow for myself is to have one day to feel it all—sometimes I cry it out, sometimes I take a drive and listen to my favorite music as I let the ‘what if’s’ swirl around me. But after this day, I do my best to find other ways to occupy my time. Whether it be with friends and family or by spending more time doing what I love. Give yourself time to get over them, but when the same repetitive thoughts start to drift back, put yourself in the moment you’re in and try to be more present.

Stop looking at their social media.
Though it may feel impossible, this is one of the best ways to let go of a person. Unfollow, unfriend, block, do whatever it is you need to do to stop looking. Why make it harder on yourself by constantly keeping the thought of them alive in your mind? It’s only human to wonder how a person you care about is doing, but it will not speed up the process of removing them from your life. It takes a lot of strength and discipline to do this, but when you prove to yourself that you can let go of them online, you will feel so much stronger having done it.

Remember that this is temporary.
These feelings won’t last forever, no matter how hard it is to believe. More than likely, this isn’t your first crush and this isn’t the first time you’ve had to get over someone special. Think back on the times you’ve been through this in the past, what did you learn from it? Time is a funny thing and it may feel like you’ll never move on, but I promise you that you will.

You can take as much or as little as you please from this experience, but try to remember the fact that one day, when you’re crushing on a person who reciprocates the same feelings as you, you will have a much better idea of what you’re looking for. You’ve done the hard work it takes get over that special someone, but don’t forget how special you are in the process. You are worthy of someone who is just as excited about you, as you are them.

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